Out Of The Blue (The Wrong Bed #12)(14)

Alexi, who never missed a thing, set down a bowl of fruit and came closer, eyes narrowed. "What's up with that anyway? I would've put him in my room."

What was up?

Well, wasn't that just the question of the day?

Hannah could have told Alexi everything. Right then she could have explained that their silly little toilet challenge had started her thinking. That she was feeling inexplicably lonely, even in a lodge completely full of people. That she needed more, needed to know what it was like to share intimacy with someone. That she wanted to know, for once in her life, that she was completely, totally irresistible to a man.

She wanted that man to be Zach Thomas. Strange how much she wanted that, but she couldn't hide from it.

And after last night, she doubted he'd be able to either.

She knew Alexi would have wanted to help Hannah sort this all out, but she didn't share her thoughts.

How could she when she didn't fully understand them herself?

"Hannah?"

"Nothing's up," she said as lightly as she could. "Just hungry. Can't a girl be hungry first thing in the morning?"

"Yes, but first thing in the morning is not usually before ten for you."

"I'm changing my ways." To prove that, she grabbed an apple out of the bowl and bit in. "Where's Boss?"

Boss was a sixty-five-year-old mislocated cowboy, who just happened to cook with amazing talent. They'd hired him one morning after giving him a handout, and in the nine months since, he'd been a godsend, trading off restaurant duty with Alexi.

"There's a rodeo coming to town, he's all excited. Wanted the day off to go check it out." Alexi didn't take her eyes off Hannah. "And you're changing the subject."

"It worked."

"Okay, fine. Be mysterious. I'll figure it out for myself." Alexi hopped up on the counter, crossed her arms and gave her a long look. "Let's see now … something's different about you … what is it?"

Hannah nearly laughed, but since it would have been a half-hysterical one, she managed to keep it to herself. "Don't be silly. Nothing's different." Not yet anyway.

"If I didn't know you better, I'd say that something happened between you and Zach last night."

Yeah, something happened—exactly nothing! "But since you do know me," Hannah said, surprisingly hurt, "you know that would be ridiculous, right?"

"Right," Alexi said quietly. "Because you're not the type to go for a one-night stand. And while my brother isn't a saint by any means, Mrs. Schwartz said he was nearly unconscious with exhaustion. So that couldn't be it."

Of course not. She wasn't exactly the type of woman to inspire enough wild passion to overcome exhaustion.

But she wanted to be!

Alexi was still watching at her. "Spill it."

"I'm famished." Fishing in the refrigerator, Hannah came up with bagels, cream cheese and a carton of orange juice. "Don't suppose I can convince you to start breakfast early?"

"Don't suppose you can." But Alexi relented with a sigh, hopped off the counter and took out a frying pan. "So … you worried about something?"

Yeah, that she would die a virgin. "Such as?"

"Life," Alexi said in her usual frank manner, putting bacon to cook on the range and turning back to Hannah with a concerned expression. "You don't enjoy it enough."

Hannah thought about last night and her useless efforts. "That might have changed recently."

"It should. Have you thought about seriously trying to get some fun in your life?"

Now. Now was the time to tell Alexi that she was planning on seducing her brother, that if she was successful, Hannah wouldn't be cleaning toilets this summer.

"Honey, really, there's so much more to life than this lodge."

No kidding. There was love for one thing, an elusive, tricky emotion she knew little about. "I'm working on that fun part."

"Good. You can't live for work alone." All of Hannah's life she'd pretty much lived for survival. Having lost her father young, it was deeply inbred, especially since she and her brother had spent so many years watching her mother struggle just to feed them. So now maybe she went overboard sometimes, keeping her eyes only on work. But it was a hard habit to break. She intended to try.

The fact remained, though, that regardless of what drove her, Hannah loved the Norfolk Inn. It wasn't a hardship for her to throw herself one hundred percent into the place. Not to mention she actually depended on their earnings for things she'd gotten used to—like eating.

Maybe she had too much pride, she didn't know. But working had certainly gotten her through some tough spots in her life.

Such as when her mother had lost her job. Hannah had been twelve that year, Michael seventeen, and times had been very lean. Instead of going on welfare, they'd all worked, even Hannah, who'd lied about her age and cleaned houses.

They'd survived, only to lose their apartment to a fire a few years later. During it all both Hannah's mother and Michael had managed to retain a sense of themselves, separate from their necessary survival. They played and loved every bit as hard as they worked.

Somehow Hannah hadn't learned the trick of that.