Open Doors (Suncoast Society #27)(31)

“Derrick and Marcia have given us a very special, almost sacred place to create new families and friends together. To experience a rebirth into the life we really want and need for ourselves. Don’t waste a second of it, and make sure to be there for each other in any way you can. Including to help keep the spirit of this place alive, as well as supporting it so it can stay open. We need Venture, and the people who come after you will need it. Remember that it’s a place of spirit and community.

“Love you guys, and thank you for being here. I’m sorry I can’t be there for you any longer.”

The screen went dark. Tony turned off the DVD player and the TV and set the remotes aside as Ed stepped forward. The room was silent except for the rustle of clothes, the sounds of people sniffling, and noses being blown.

Ed stood there for a moment, apparently composing his thoughts. “I know I’m not into this as much as some of you are. My wife and I are more voyeurs and bedroom players than we are hard-core lifestylers. But Kaden wasn’t just my business partner, he was my friend. Because I spent so much time with him, I know some of what went on between him and Leah. He had to confide in me to a certain extent years ago, so I would understand some of the…unique things that he asked of me when preparing his paperwork. In case something unexpected and sudden took him instead of a situation like this.

“I know that he loved Leah with all his heart. And Seth might as well have been part of their marriage from the start, because he loved Seth more than any brother could have. Which is why, once he knew Leah loved Seth, too, he set up what he did for her.

“I can only hope that, if I should meet a similar fate, that I can face the end of my life with the forethought, planning, grace, dignity, and peace that Kaden did. He lived the last of his life, yes, worried about Leah, but also with a degree of comfort knowing Seth would be there after to carry on for him. Kaden told me that was a relief, that he had everything worked out.”

He turned to Tony and motioned to him. Tony stepped forward, then turned to look at the picture.

Kaden looked happy in the photo, even though there was a slight sadness in his eyes. What had his friend gone through, early on, before most of them even knew about his cancer, to prepare all of this? The mental and emotional preparations Kaden made…he was a better man than Tony felt himself to be.

Tony hadn’t prepared a statement, knowing if he did he’d just choke up trying to read it. He’d opted instead for an extemporaneous eulogy.

“I think it would be a shame,” Tony finally started, “if people left here today sad, then woke up tomorrow and went about their business as usual. There is no business as usual. Period. Every day when we wake up, we’re not guaranteed that we won’t get hit by a bus on the way to work, or that a fire in our building might trap and kill us on our lunch hour, or that a freak accident might happen and we choke on a piece of popcorn in front of the TV while alone in our living room and watching porn.”

A slight chuckle from the audience.

“I know I, for one, plan to take the lessons I’ve learned throughout this experience and apply them to my life going forward. I want to live as authentically as I can and be happy. I want to help others be happy. I want to help educate others on the best ways to find out what makes them happy. Because what makes me or you happy might not work for someone else. And that’s okay, too. Kaden and I both sort of did a lot of learning together in this whole process. We were here in the beginning, even before the club was here. Once we had the club, it was easier to teach others, teach more of them, on how to find their own happiness.

“I’m glad that I’ve gotten to witness so many people finding out who they are, growing, learning, and changing their lives for the better. What a lot of people don’t understand is that what we’re doing isn’t the easy choice. Not at all. This is the hard choice. This is swimming upstream while we’re determined to live. It’s easy to follow the rest of the school downstream to get scooped up in nets and die miserably.

“It’s brave to keep swimming, keep fighting for what we want, the way Kaden fought for what he wanted. He wanted Leah, and he wanted Leah to be happy and healthy. And in the process of that fight, they found their way to BDSM and it worked for them. Who’s to fault them? They had, what, over twenty years of marriage? How many other people can say that?”

He looked down for a moment, trying to formulate his next thought. “He’s right that this place is special. Sacred.” He smiled. “Besides the cries of ‘oh, god’ that we frequently hear.” More laughter. “Live true, live authentically. Love hard, and love honestly. Be willing to live the difficult life in an attempt to live a better life for yourself.

“And don’t forget to never leave anything left unsaid. Because you never know when the next time you see someone or talk to them might be the last time. Wouldn’t it be some small comfort to know that the last words you left said to someone was that you loved them? Or that you cared about them? It doesn’t lessen the pain of loss, but it prevents an additional ache of having left something unsaid, or worrying that someone didn’t know how you truly felt about them.”

Tony stepped aside and went over to get himself a cup of water while Ed took over again and called people up to speak, starting with Derrick.

Maybe I should have asked for one of Ed’s Xanax.