One Texas Cowboy Too Many (Burnt Boot, Texas #3)(48)

“Then, by damn, we’ll take it outside.” Naomi grabbed Mavis by the arm and shoved her out the still-open door. Mavis came back with a right hook and got Naomi on the upper arm, knocking her backwards off the porch. Naomi reached up from the ground and got a firm hold on Mavis’s ankle and brought her to her knees on the porch. Then she gave a jerk and Mavis bounced down the steps on her butt and landed on the ground, sending red dust up in a cloud above them.

Mavis snatched at Naomi’s hair and Naomi did the same, pulling Mavis’s hairpiece off like she was scalping her and slinging it behind her. It flew across the gravel parking lot and Dammit caught it midair, but he spit it out quickly when he got a taste of the hair spray. It looked like a roadkill skunk without the white stripe, lying there on the ground beside the truck tire. Dammit wouldn’t stop growling at it.

“Stop it!” Betsy screamed as she pulled Naomi off Mavis. “Dammit!”

The dog jumped at the sound of his name, ran over to get a firm hold on Naomi’s jean leg, and pulled as hard as he could.

Betsy slapped the dog on the flank. “Dammit, dog, don’t you dare bite her or I’ll shoot you between the eyes.”

Leah locked her arms around Mavis’s waist and pulled her away from Naomi. To Rhett, it looked like a Chihuahua trying to control a pit bull, and he started to give her a hand but changed his mind and whistled shrilly. Dammit let go of Naomi’s jeans and trotted up to the porch where he sat down beside Rhett.

“Do something, Rhett!” Jill yelled.

“Why? If they kill each other, maybe this feud will end.”

Naomi made another dive at Mavis. Betsy managed to get in front of her and push her backwards with a hand on each shoulder, but Naomi slapped the shit out of Betsy’s cheek. “Get the hell away from me. I’m going to kill that bitch for what she did to my house.”

Mavis broke free of Leah, and the two old women met each other with such force that it would have put the Texas Longhorn football team to shame. Hell, if Rhett could have talked either one or both of them into trying out for the team, he might have left ranchin’ and gone into the sport’s agent business.

“Rhett!” Jill stomped her foot.

Since she did make a killer apple pie, he pointed at Dammit and said, “Stay.” Then he forced the old gals apart, a hand on each of their heads like they were a couple of grade-school kids who’d gotten into a battle over a game of marbles.

“Get your damn hands off me, you hippie!” Mavis screamed.

“I’ll put you down like a rabid dog if you don’t turn me loose,” Naomi yelled.

“You are both getting the hell out of here. You have to fight, you take it somewhere else. We don’t need it on Fiddle Creek. Leah, get in your truck and get it started. Open the passenger door. Betsy, you do the same.”

Fists and swear words swung, with most landing on him. Their punches stung, but he doubted if they’d even leave a bruise because the old gals were wearing out. Their breath came in gasps, and even a cussword took lots more air than they had in their lungs. Finally, he motioned for Jill.

“You hold Naomi right here and don’t let her take a step. Knock her flat on her ass if she even picks up a foot,” he said.

Jill nodded and put a hand on each of Naomi’s shoulders. “I’ve never hit an old lady before, but you can bet your sweet ass I will. What in the hell is the matter with you two?”

“I’m not old,” Naomi hissed.

“Yes, you are,” Mavis said. “You’re an old bitch.” That’s all she got out because Rhett tossed her over his shoulder like a bag of chicken feed and carried her to Leah’s truck. He deposited her in the passenger seat and said, “Take her home.”

“You take me to Gainesville right now. I need a beauty shop,” Mavis panted.

Naomi broke free from Jill, trotted across the gravel parking lot, and grabbed up Mavis’s hairpiece. “I scalped a rotten, damned, old Brennan. I’m going to put this in a frame and hang it above my fireplace, Mavis, to show the whole world that I scalped you.” She shook it at the truck as Leah pulled out on the highway.

“Granny!” Betsy said.

“Don’t you say a word to me. You should have killed Leah and helped me stomp Mavis to death instead of pulling us apart. Some granddaughter you are,” Naomi said. “Take me home and call a taxidermist. I want this pelt cleaned and fixed up to look like a skunk hide. That’s what those Brennans are—roadkill skunks.”

“Now, am I going to carry you over my shoulder to the truck, or will you get out of here peacefully?” Rhett asked.

“You touch me and I’ll see to it you’re dead by morning,” Naomi said.

“Come on, Granny. Let’s go home.” Betsy helped Naomi limp over to the truck and then drove away.

Jill sat down beside Dammit and exhaled loudly. “You are a good boy. You tried to stop that mayhem. I’m proud of you.”

Rhett plopped down on the other side of the dog. “After that, it’s going to be a busy night at the bar. If y’all get too busy, call me and I’ll put an end to the fencing.”

“I keep hoping this shit will end, but today proves it ain’t about to happen,” she said. “You sure fried your ass with Mavis today. She won’t ever let Leah date you now, for sure.”