One Step Closer(68)

Ugh.

The wake would require hours of time; going through the motions of shaking hands and making inane small talk with people he didn’t know or didn’t remember, along with meeting people he didn’t give a shit about.

The sympathetic glances in his direction said most were aware he was Edison Luxon’s son. As he made his way through the room with Macy at his side, he wished he could skip the whole goddamned thing. Several people stopped him, patted him on the back, or shook his hand; many murmuring those meaningless comments people make after someone close to you dies.

“I’m so sorry for your loss, Caleb. Who’s this pretty girl?”

“I loved working for Mr. Luxon. He was a great boss and will be missed.”

“If there’s anything I can do for you, let me know.”

They were stopped multiple times by people anxious to offer their condolences, and he could sense Macy getting more and more pissed each time he introduced her as his friend. To give her credit, she pasted a stiff smile on her face and did her best to hide her ire.

His father’s casket was partially hidden from Caleb’s view by the line of people filing past it. It was located at the front of the room, with more and more flowers strewn around it, on the floor in front, and a large spray of white roses covering the lower half of the polished wood surface. The quilted white fabric on the inside of the lid was visible, but he only caught glimpse of his father’s body as people filed by. His stomach lurched at the thought his father was actually inside. This was going to suck. He tugged uncomfortably at the collar of his shirt under the silk tie, wishing he could just take the damn thing off.

The sedan that had brought Wren and Jonesy had been parked out front, indicating they were already inside. Jonathan had followed Caleb and Macy from his office in his own car. Caleb’s eyes scanned the room for Wren, looking for long blonde curls, still distracted when the funeral director approached.

“Hello, Mr. Luxon. I’m Alfred Baines.” A hand was offered and Caleb shook it without thinking.

“Nice to meet you.”

“You’ll find a small room off to the side at the front for you and your family. It offers more privacy and you should be more comfortable in there.” He handed them each a piece of folded white stationery with his father’s picture and obituary on it. Caleb shoved it into the breast pocket of his suit without reading it.

“Thank you, Mr. Baines.”

Caleb put a hand on Macy’s arm to stop her briefly. “I’m going to go up and pay my respects. Why don’t you go into the room Mr. Baines mentioned?”

Macy studied him for a brief moment. “Are you okay? I can come with you.”

He shook his head in denial. He wasn’t sure how he was going to feel and the last thing that Caleb wanted was to be seen showing any weakness. “No. I want to do this alone. I’ll see you in a minute.” Without waiting for her response, he turned and bypassed the line.

Those in front of him made way for him to take a moment alone beside the casket. Caleb stood and gazed down at his father for an obligatory moment. He felt sick, seeing his father cold and lifeless inside the expensive cherry wood casket. Edison’s hair was still the same impeccable style he’d always worn, though with more grey than the last time Caleb had seen him, but he looked more peaceful than ever before.

Feeling morose, Caleb sighed; his lungs protesting at the tightness in his chest as he contemplated on the man he’d barely spent a week with since he’d graduated from MIT four years before. Guilt over his contribution to the estrangement of their relationship nagged at him. Maybe if he’d opened a few of those goddamned letters things could have been different, but a mountain of regret was useless now. It changed nothing.

He felt a warm presence beside him and Caleb knew without looking that it was Wren. The familiar scent of her perfume lingered softly in the air around him. Unlike Macy, he welcomed her nearness. She slid an arm through his, her fingers curling around his bicep, as she rested her forehead on his arm just below his shoulder.

Despite wearing the new high heels Caleb had purchased for her earlier at the mall, he still towered over her. His uneasiness settled in the same way it always did when she was near. His hand lifted to cover hers in silent connection.

“Are you okay?” she asked softly.

He nodded, still gazing down at his dad. “Yeah. You know, this is the first time I’ve been in the same room with him when he wasn’t riding my ass for one reason or another,” he said with a wry quirk of his lips. “I wish—” He stopped abruptly.

“I know, Cale.” She squeezed his arm where she still held it. “Edison wouldn’t want you to beat yourself up.” Her tone was soft and pained. She desperately wanted to take away the ache she heard in his voice. Caleb was strong, and most people wouldn’t pick up on it, but Wren did. “He knew he was the one at fault.”

“It was easier when I hated the son-of-a-bitch.” Caleb blinked at the sting in his eyes.

“Maybe, but that’s not the life you deserve; to hate him or punish yourself forever. He wouldn’t want that. ”

Caleb slid an arm around the back of Wren’s waist and moved to turn her away from the casket. “Come on. I don’t want to talk about it now.”

More people were coming in; the line was forming up the center aisle now, ushered by the funeral home staff. The chairs sitting in multiple rows were filling fast.