One Good Reason (Boston Love #3)(69)

Luca nods. “All right.” He glances at me, then Parker, then back at me. “You gonna be okay?”

I roll my eyes. “Luca.”

He holds his hands up in surrender. “Fine. Got it. I’m going.” He turns and starts for the elevator, gets halfway there, stops in his tracks, and stomps back to me. Before I can ask what he’s doing, he hooks an arm around my neck, hauls me close, and plants a kiss on the side of my head. “Scared me today, babe. Don’t do it again.”

“I’ll do my best,” I whisper, telling myself not to cry.

He nods, turns, and follows Nate into the elevator. I wave as the doors slide shut and they rattle away. When the sound of the elevator fades, the loft is abruptly silent. Parker Can’t-Stop-Babbling West is uncharacteristically quiet. I look at him, fully prepared to ask if he’s feeling feverish, and feel my eyes widen.

He’s sitting on the edge of my bed with his face in his hands.

My feet falter. The words dry up on my tongue.

I’ve never seen him look so utterly… Defeated. That’s the only word for it. It sends an awful, gut-wrenching sensation through me.

“Parker?” My voice is shaky as I walk slowly toward him and sink down by his side on the edge of the mattress. “Honey… are you okay?”

He heaves a sigh and pulls his hands away to glance over at me. “Are you?” he asks in a broken voice.

I blink. “It’s just a cut. It’ll heal. I’ll be fine.”

“I’m not talking about the cut, Zoe.”

“Then…” My mouth gapes a bit. “I… I don’t know what you mean.”

He looks away. “I talked to Phoebe.”

A lump forms in my throat. No matter how many times I swallow, I can’t seem to dislodge it. “Oh? And?”

He looks back at me and his hazel eyes are so sad it steals my breath. “And she told me what happened. You storming out of lunch with the girls.”

“So, I didn’t want to sit around gossiping over cupcakes. Sue me.”

“We’ll get to the reason you stormed out of there later.” He straightens so he’s no longer hunched over and stares down into my eyes. “Point is, that was hours ago, Zoe. Phoebe called me at two. I found you at six. Lying in the snow, half frozen to death. You were f*cking blue. I thought…” His voice breaks, and it damn near kills me to hear it. He runs a hand through his hair, clearly frustrated, and when he speaks again his tone is low, like he’s barely hanging onto his control. “I thought you were dead.”

I suck in a breath. With a tentative hand, I reach for his. He flinches when my fingers curl over his knuckles.

“I’m happy you found me,” I whisper. “You saved me.”

He pulls his hand from mine and I feel something painful fissure through my heart.

“Are you really happy?” he asks, a note of disbelief in his voice.

“Of course I am. What, do you think…” I swallow. “Do you think I wanted to die out there? That I wanted to be attacked and left out in the snow?”

He rises to his feet and starts to pace. “I don’t know what the f*ck to think, Zoe. All I do know is, at any point in the four hours you were out there wandering in a f*cking blizzard, sad and scared and upset… you could’ve called me. I would’ve dropped anything to come find you. No matter what.” A muscle jumps in his cheek. “You chose not to do that. And then, some man attacks you…” He looks at me with ghosts in his eyes. “You’re a fighter. I’ve known it since the second I clapped eyes on you. And yet, today, when you were cornered, when you were knocked down… You didn’t get back up. Didn’t call for help. Didn’t fight.”

My heart is pounding too fast and I feel dangerously close to falling apart. “What are you asking?” I force myself to say.

His eyes hold mine captive. “Did you stop fighting? Is there a part of you that wanted to slip away, out there on that street?”

Horror surges through me as I feel my eyes start to fill with tears. They spill down my cheeks in a rush, but not a single one of them has a chance to hit the floor because suddenly Parker’s there, his hands cupping my cheeks, his face a hairsbreadth from mine.

“Shhh,” he breathes. “It’s okay, Zoe. It’s okay.”

“I just…” I cough on a sob. “I was just so tired. It was too much. My parents. That night. Replaying in my head like a horror film, over and over. It rattled me. And so, when he dropped me into the snow… I guess there was a part of me that was just too damn tired to get back up.”

Parker’s big hands hold my cheeks, so I can’t look away. “Zoe.” His voice breaks on the word. “Next time, you call me. You can’t find your feet? I’ll be there to pull you up. You can’t walk? I’ll f*cking carry you.” He comes closer, until I can’t see anything except his eyes, and I’m pretty sure they’re the most gorgeous thing I’ve ever seen in my twenty-four years of life. There’s redemption and forgiveness in his gaze — no judgment or fear.

My broken pieces don’t scare him.

He doesn’t pretend they don’t exist.

He sees me for exactly who I am… and he’s here anyway.

“You think the world is too ugly to exist in anymore? I’ll be here to remind you how f*cking beautiful it can be.” His voice is a vow. “I promise, darling. I’ll be here. But I can’t help you if you won’t let me.”