One Funeral (No Weddings #2)(43)

Kristen arched a brow, looking smug. “According to Candie, and I quote: ‘I sucked that sexy motherf*cker off ’til he screamed, but we never had sex.’”

Cade fumed. He sat beside me on the couch, taking in measured breaths, his anger blasting into the room. He forced a sardonic smile. “Nice she was proud enough of her blow job to share.”

The corners of Kristen’s lips twitched as she fought a smile. “Since you never technically ‘banged’ her, she’s fair game. And I want to throw this party. The publicity will be awesome.”

“Great.” Cade sank back into the corner of the couch, working his body behind mine and Kiki’s, forcing us to scoot forward a few inches as he stretched out.

I glanced back at him. “So no clients you’ve banged, huh? How come this is the first I’ve heard of this rule?”

Kiki answered while Cade grabbed a blue throw pillow and stuffed it over his face. She gave me a pointed look before softening her expression. “Because the list is extensive. He probably didn’t want to broadcast the details.”

Kiki and I exchanged a look, and I gave her an imperceptible nod to let her know I was okay with the discussion.

The pillow talked, Cade’s voice muffled. “Like who gave me blow jobs, for example.”

I laughed, pushing the pillow down. “So let me get this straight: no clients you’ve ‘banged’ and no weddings.”

He removed the pillow, lifting his brows. “I should’ve added no funerals.”

“Don’t forget no children’s parties.” Kiki put her feet up on the coffee table.

“Or balloon animals,” Kendall added.

“Or clowns. That one’s mine.” Kristen leaned over, dipped her tortilla chip into the salsa, then popped it into her mouth.

Cade rubbed his hand up my back. I glanced back at him to find his eyes shut while he exhaled deeply. A content look came over his face.

Even in the chaos of planning a funeral for the living dead and being forced to work with a client he’d rather not see, he seemed happy to be here among his family and with me.

Kristen nodded at me. “Hannah, you have a cake request. Candie wants to be in a beautiful gown, lying in repose in a coffin—with a smile on her face.”

Cade choked out a laugh, pulling his beer bottle from his lips.

“What?” I gaped at Kristen.

Cade sat halfway up. “She wants a smile on her face so everyone knows she died with a happy ending.”

Kiki tossed a chip at him. “It’s probably her revenge for you not getting her off. Maybe some other guy went down on her, and she died screaming.”

Cade shot her a deadpan expression. “No, then her mouth would be wide open.”

Kristen glanced at Kiki. “It’s probably not Cade’s fault. The way Candie’s already micromanaging the party, I get the distinct impression she likes to be in control of everything.”

Kiki arched a brow. “Cade couldn’t have protested?”

Kendall gave Kiki a pointed look. “With his dick in her mouth?”

Cade snarled. “Could we please stop talking about my dick for a second?”

His sisters and I burst out laughing.

When I finally caught my breath, I glanced at Kristen, expression sobering. “I am not doing a cake of Candie dead.”

Cade smirked. “Well, I’m guessing you’re not doing it of her in the seconds before—”

I snapped my hand over his mouth, glaring at him before glancing up at Kristen. “No. Assuming I’m even talented enough to create a fitting likeness of her, that’s a big cake and a lot of things could go wrong. It’s one thing to do a building or a landscape. Inanimate objects or animals are fine. But a cake of a person has all kinds of challenges. The icing might melt or shift. If it does, she’ll look like she needs a facelift at her own funeral.”

Kendall burst into another fit of laughter, and seconds later, we all joined her.

Kristen cleared her throat. “Okay. Okay. No dead Candie as a cake. Will you talk to her, then? I need to make sure she’s happy and you have direction. She’s obsessing over every minute detail like it’s her wedding. Oh, that reminds me…Girls, we’re going shopping with her. It’s one of her special requests. We’re all doing a shopping spree with her on her dime. She wants us all dressed for the occasion.”

I blinked. When I glanced down at Cade, amusement sparkled in his eyes. “What about him?”

“Oh, Candie had orders for you too, Cade. She wants you in a tux with a hot-pink cummerbund and tie.”

He scowled. “Fuck no. I’m not wearing that.”

“Yes. You are. Be a sport, Cade. Have fun with it.” Kristen turned to a file in her lap. “Kiki, she has some art requests.”

Kristen continued rattling off assignments to us in the pattern we’d developed, with each of us offering our two cents in suggestion or protest. In the end, we all wanted the same things with Invitation Only—success.

Cade slipped his hand under the back hem of my shirt, trailing a finger along my waistline until I felt a tug on my thong. My eyes went wide, and I glanced over my shoulder, staring at him, painfully aware his sisters were only feet away and in full view.

A smirk lit up his face, mischief dancing in his eyes. He murmured low, “I know how we’ll have fun with it.”