On the Prowl (Bad Things #2)(59)

She looked down and saw the smoke drifting up to them. A line of blue light surrounded the outskirts of that burning building, and she knew she was staring down at Luke’s magic—containment for the fire.

The blades whirred overhead as Julian flew them away.

***

Julian landed the helicopter on Key West, on a private helipad that Luke owned. Sometimes, he felt like his buddy owned half of the damn world.

Because he did.

The blades stopped spinning, and his head turned so that he could stare at Rose. Beautiful f*cking Rose. The woman he wanted more than anything.

The woman who’d said she loved him.

The deal was supposed to save her. It didn’t work out that way. I screwed things up. I have to make it right for her.

“Why…why do I feel like you’re about to tell me good-bye?”

Because he was. “Twenty-four, seven protection, remember? But only until—”

“The threat is gone.”

He nodded. “Considering you burned the Collector to ash, I don’t think we have to worry about him any longer.”

“I told you I loved you.”

He flinched.

“Don’t you love me?”

“I’m a f*cking selfish bastard.”

“Julian…”

“I saw you on the beach…you were picking up sea shells. I saw you, I wanted you, and I didn’t care about the rules that said I was supposed to stay away from a human. I was arrogant and cocky. I thought I’d screw you and walk away and no one would know that I’d broken one of Luke’s famous laws.” His hands clenched. “Shifters are supposed to stay away from humans. We’re too rough. Too wild. I’ve known shifters who’ve killed human lovers.”

“You didn’t hurt me and you sure didn’t walk away.”

“Because I couldn’t. Once wasn’t nearly enough. I had you, and I wanted more.” He’d wanted forever. But forever had ended in a hail of gunfire.

“I wanted more, too,” she whispered. Did the woman have any idea the damage she was doing to him? His heart was in pieces. She’d gutted him with her love.

“You didn’t want to be a vampire, Rose. You wanted a husband. A home. Kids. Holidays and trips to Disney World. You didn’t want me. How could you? You didn’t even know me, not really.”

She grabbed his hand, her fingers curling over his clenched fist. “I know you now. I know you as a beast. I know you as a man. And guess what? I still want you.” Her breath heaved out. “But what do you want, Julian? How do you feel about me?”

I love you. Completely. And that was terrifying. “If you died tomorrow, what do you think I’d do?”

She blinked.

“If I’d gotten to that f*cking pit in the Everglades five minutes later and that bastard had taken your heart…what do you think I would’ve done?”

“Julian—”

“Anything. I’d do anything to get you back.” That was the part that tore him up. “You say I’m not like Simon. You’re right. In some ways, I’m worse. Because I wouldn’t have f*cking dicked around like he did. I would have moved heaven and hell immediately to get you back. I would have traded any life to have you back. You think I wouldn’t kill an innocent to get back the woman I love?”

“You love me?”

Always. “I would kill anyone. I would trade anything…I would do everything to get you back. Because I am a monster in my soul. And monsters aren’t supposed to love because when we do, we just destroy. The love we feel is selfish and addictive and it’s not right for you.”

She shook her head. “No, you don’t get to say what’s right.”

“I mated you, and I didn’t even tell you!”

Her eyes widened. “Wh-what?”

“When we made love, I bit you. I marked you.” His hand slid from hers and touched her on the shoulder. That sweet curve that led up to her neck. His fingers trailed over her silken skin. “When you mark here, that’s a mating bite for my kind. Fucking binding as marriage. I’m locked to you, tied to you now for the rest of my life. I won’t ever be happy with anyone else.” He’d never feel so much as a flicker of desire for anyone else. He couldn’t. He was mated and that meant that he belonged—body and soul—to her.

“I don’t really want you happy with anyone else,” she muttered.

She didn’t get it.

“If you were a shifter, the marking would have just condemned us both to a life where we were always tied to one another. If you left me, you’d mourn for me. Your body would hurt because you needed me close to you.” He exhaled. “But you’re not a shifter, thankfully. So the rules that apply to me…they won’t apply to you. You can walk away. You can be happy without me. You can have a life that isn’t tied to a monster.”

“And what about you? Will you be happy without me?”

Never. “I will be happy…knowing that you’re safe. Knowing that you have a life that suits you better.”

“You’re…you’re telling me to walk away.”

He was trying to get her to run away. “Being noble isn’t something I do well.” Or at all, usually. “I am the monster in the closet. The one that little kids are supposed to fear. I’m a nightmare, and I don’t know how to handle anything good.” His hand lingered against her skin. “When I try, I destroy it.” Just like he’d destroyed her. “You need someone better than me. You need to go…you need to just…leave, Rose. Live your life.”