On Second Thought(94)

“Oh, I wouldn’t miss this for the world.”

We tiptoed down the hall toward Eric’s room. Ainsley stationed herself outside the doorway like a cop expecting gunfire.

I went in.

Screwing another woman in the bed he’d shared with my sister? Not on my watch.

The bathroom door was closed. Since they’d left the lights on, I could see myself in the bureau mirror. Yep. I looked crazy. I messed up my hair for that added asylum look, took a deep breath and threw open the bathroom door.

“Eric!” I bellowed.

He screamed. She screamed. She also flailed, her elbow jerking back and catching Eric in the face. He screamed again, the wuss, one hand going to his nose, the other to cover his junk.

I jammed my hands on my hips. “Where’s my sister, Eric? What did you do to her?”

“What are you talking about? How did you get in? God! I’m naked here!”

Naked, and no longer homo erectus, either, I was pleased to note. Also, his nose was bleeding. “Where is she, Eric?”

“Who is that?” the woman shrieked, trying to cower behind Eric, who was trying to cower behind her.

“Where is she?” I demanded. “What have you done with her? Did you kill her?”

“Of course not! I don’t know where she is!”

“Oh, my God,” the woman whimpered. She scrambled out of the shower and started pulling on her clothes.

“If Ainsley doesn’t turn up,” I said, “I’m calling the police on you. And I’ll be watching you, Eric.” I turned to the naked woman. “My husband is dead, and it’s Eric’s fault,” I told her. “Or maybe that’s the grief talking, but you should be very careful around this one.” I gave her a mournful look, then looked back at Eric. “Shame on you, by the way.”

“Kate, are you... Is this a...” He straightened up. “You’d better leave, or I’m calling the police.”

“Or maybe I’ll call the police, Eric, and tell them my sister is missing. Gotta run. Things to do. Have a great night!”

I bolted. Ainsley was waiting at the top of the stairs, and we ran out, across the front lawn to her car, the bag of loot glowing in the darkness. Got in, and Ainsley floored it, laughing so hard she had to wipe her eyes. We fled silently thanks to the Prius’s electric motor. A few streets away, Ainsley pulled over, both of us laughing so hard we were holding our stomachs.

Then Ainsley’s ringtone went off, a series of little chimes. She looked at the phone. “Why, it’s Eric,” she said, tapping it. “Hello?” Her voice was very calm. “Oh, hey, Eric. You sound stuffed up.” She hit Mute so he couldn’t hear us laughing, then returned to the call. “Kate? She’s out with a friend. Fund-raiser or something. Really? Huh. Are you sure it was my sister? No, I’m here with Ollie, reading. Listen, you sound ungrounded. Take some cleansing breaths and commune with the grizzly bears.”

I wheezed, tears streaming down my face. God, this felt good.

There was a pause as he spoke. “Oh, so you’re not in Alaska. Huh. Guess you haven’t quite cut free from the corpse of your old life. Easy to blog about it, harder to do it, isn’t it? Oh, and don’t you dare write about my sister. First, you have no proof. Second, she’s Nathan’s widow and still grieving. And third, I’ll make sure she sues you for libel if you do. Namaste, *.”

She hit End, and we both sat there for a few minutes, occasionally snorting, until the laughter ran out, and we were both quiet.

A few raindrops hit the roof, then more, then a steady hiss, the beads running down the windshield, our view blurring. Thunder rumbled in the west, and a flash of lightning lit up the belly of the clouds.

“I guess it’s really over,” Ainsley said, her voice quiet. “The Eric I knew is gone. I’m sitting here, jealous of you, because at least Nathan gets to stay Nathan in your memory, whereas I have to deal with the new and unimproved Eric.”

“I’m sorry, Ains.”

She nodded. Wiped her eyes.

“You know, Nathan’s given me a few surprises since he died,” I added.

She glanced at me. “Really?”

“He stayed in touch with his ex-wife. I found emails.”

“Are you kidding me?”

“Afraid not. It seems like they weren’t really...done.”

“An affair?”

“No. But I think he still...loved her.”

Said out loud in the intimacy of the car, the words seemed to lurk there in front of us.

“You have to wonder if you ever know anyone at all,” Ainsley said.

“Ain’t it the truth?”

The rain kicked up, drumming on the car roof, and still we sat there, closer now than we’d ever been in our lives.

“You know what?” I said. “There’s a Pepperidge Farm coconut cake at home.”

“Say no more,” Ainsley said, and home we went.





Chapter Twenty-Three

Ainsley

Though I showed up on time eight days in a row, I failed to dazzle Jonathan.

Not that I was trying.

Fine, I was totally trying. Why, though, I didn’t know, because A) I was still furious with Eric, who finally did go to Alaska, according to Judy’s Facebook post, and B) dazzling Captain Flatline was impossible.