On Her Master's Secret Service (Masters and Mercenaries #4)(4)

“Unlikely isn’t never. And I don’t care about that. I’m just happy you’re alive.”

He didn’t seem happy. He seemed grave and grim. The only time he became animated was when he was running down a lead on Evans. Then his face was flush and a passionate anger would seep into his eyes.

“It’s going to be all right,” he promised. “You’ll see. I’m going to catch him and you’ll feel safe again.”

She might never feel safe again. “I don’t want to talk about him. I want to forget him.”

She knew she couldn’t forget, but she needed to try to find some normalcy again and she couldn’t do that without her husband. She caught another glance of herself in the mirror and the deep need to argue with him fled. She couldn’t help but notice the way his eyes slid away from her. He didn’t want to be here.

He didn’t want to look at her.

Suddenly the ache inside her had nothing to do with her bones.

Alex hung his head as he grabbed his laptop. “You’ll see. You’re going to feel so much better when you know he can’t hurt you again. I’m going to give this to you. I screwed up and you paid the price, but I’m going to make this right.”

She reached out to him, but he was already at the door. She pulled her arm back before he turned. How could she tell him that he couldn’t make it right again? She wasn’t sure at this point that she could even come back from what she’d been through. It was so close. Every time she closed her eyes, she could see that face looming over her. She needed Alex to take those visions away from her.

“I need you.” She hated how small her voice sounded.

“I’m here, angel.” He set the papers down and moved toward her. He crossed the space between them. The space between. There’d never been space between them before. Even when they were miles apart, she could feel him. They were married in every way—their hearts and minds and souls melded together. But now she felt every inch of air and distance that separated them.

He reached out, his fingers brushing her, and she flinched because every piece of her skin was still sensitive.

Alex nearly jumped back, his whole face flushing with horror. “I’m sorry.”

She was making it all worse. “Please give me some time.”

She couldn’t lose Alex. She would heal. She would work. She would make her way back to where she’d been before.

Alex was at the door again. “I’ll give you all the time you need. I’m going to find him. I’m going to get him for you.”

“I don’t need that.” She didn’t want him out in the field now. Tears streamed down her face, making the world a blurry mess. “I don’t want you out there with him. Please, Alex. Stay with me.”

“I will if you need me to.” He hesitated, his fingers curling around those files that meant so much to him. “Warren can handle it. And Ian’s looking into things on the side.”

But he wanted to handle it himself. He wanted it so bad. It was right there on his face. Her heart fell. He wanted his revenge. He could say it was all for her, but it was really because he could control this part of his life. Chasing after Michael Evans was active. Sitting at her bedside and hoping she healed was not.

“I’ll be fine.” Maybe when the scars were gone, he could forget that she’d been such a victim. Maybe she could forget. Maybe they could find normal again.

“Are you sure?”

She wasn’t sure of anything. Nothing. Her world had flipped, and she hated where she’d landed. She’d learned so much about herself. She’d learned that she could break, that she was fragile.

Now she was learning that her marriage was fragile, too.

“You should go and help Ian.” Perhaps being with Ian for a few days would be good for him. Ian would watch out for him.

She trusted Ian with Alex’s life. Though Warren had been his partner for the last few years, she preferred knowing that Ian was watching his back. Perhaps Ian could talk to Alex. Ian hadn’t hesitated around her. Ian had reached for her and when she’d flinched, he’d growled at her. He’d told her he wasn’t that “motherf*cker who hurt her” and he demanded that she accept his comfort.

Ian didn’t feel the guilt Alex did. Maybe he could help Alex.

She needed her husband. God, she needed her Dom so badly.

“I love you, Eve.” He whispered the words. “I’m so sorry.”

She closed her eyes as though she was going back to sleep. She heard the door close.

She didn’t need his sorrow. She didn’t need his guilt. She needed his strength, but she couldn’t ask for it because she’d changed on a fundamental level. She wasn’t his sweet little innocent sub anymore.

Time. She needed time.

She let her hand find the bandage over the spot where he’d nearly split her throat.

Did time heal all wounds? Perhaps not. Perhaps it just brought scars that proved she’d survived on a physical level.

But she might have lost her soul because she wasn’t sure her marriage had survived at all.

Eve closed her eyes and prayed for dreams of yesterday.





Chapter One


Dallas, Texas

Present Day



Alex McKay felt his stomach churn as he stared at the projection in front of him.