Off the Record (Off #3)(32)

My mouth falls open. Linc releases my face and steps back. I scramble from the bed and put my robe back on, belting it tightly. I feel way too vulnerable buck ass naked while he’s fully dressed.

“But I don’t think that about you,” I tell him.

“Don’t you?”

Well, okay, I deserve that doubt. And I have thought that about him in the past. And hell, maybe I still do think that about him, but it’s also not something that bothers me anymore. I understand he lives his life freely and that may include sexual interludes with women.

I’m free and unattached. No relationship to hold me back. I’m becoming more sexually liberal every minute I spend in Linc’s presence.

Shit! I want to be that woman he has an interlude with right now.

And I want him to feel as good as he made me feel tonight.

“Linc...that article I wrote has nothing to do with what’s going on right now.”

“But it does, Ever. It has everything to do with me not sinking myself into you tonight.”

God help me, but his words are a complete turn on. I want this man but I have no clue what is really holding him back. He’s turning me down tonight and turning my insides out.

Bitter emotions well up inside of me as I think about Marc cheating. And how maybe, just maybe, I wasn’t enough to satisfy him. I had not wanted to let my head wander to that place of doubt and insecurity but it was raging inside of me now.

“I get it,” I say, hoping my voice isn’t as pathetic as I feel right now. “This probably is a bad idea anyway.”

My eyes drop to the floor and I’m flooded with shame that I’m standing here, still flushed from two amazing orgasms, and Linc is going to walk out the door.

Linc’s hand comes up and tilts my head up so I’m looking at him. His eyes are apologetic, and that flares my embarrassment even hotter. “I’m sorry. The timing isn’t right.”

Timing isn’t right? How can it not be right? He just feasted on my body and had a woman willingly opening her legs for him. How is the timing not right?

Moron!

I just nod my head and attempt a sincere smile. “Sure. No problem.”

He looks at me for a moment longer then drops his hand. “Get some sleep. We’ll meet for breakfast tomorrow at about 7:00am.”

And then he leaves, softly closing the door behind him.





I’m dying here.

Every single waking moment—and some when I’m sleeping—are spent fantasizing about Ever. The remaining two days we spent in Oklahoma were awkward and frustrating for me. I would have rather cut off my glove hand than leave her that night. But I felt it was the right thing to do at the time.

Now, I’m not so sure.

Just thinking about the way I made her come against my tongue has me getting hard as a rock right now and I’m due to have company in a few moments.

Our work in Oklahoma was rewarding and exhausting. Ever and I slipped back into a mutual friendship that was cooler than what we had before, but by no means completely arctic. We never spoke another word about that night but damned if I could stop thinking about it.

I wonder if she thought about it too.

And while I have solid intentions of biding my time before I take Ever into my bed, it’s killing me the wait. I don’t know at what point I prove to her that I’m not the man-whore she described me to be in that f*cking article. I have no clue how to go about making her see it. She’s told me that she thinks I’m a good guy, but who the f*ck knows what that means? And God forbid, I’d actually just come out and ask her.

No...that would be too easy.

I check my watch and note that my dinner guest should be here soon. My cousin, Renner, is stopping by. She’s an airline attendant with Delta and is on an evening layover. She’s normally based out of Dublin, Ireland so she’s not around much. I haven’t seen her in a few months so I offered her to stay at my place rather than a hotel. Nix and Emily aren’t able to come over for dinner as they already had plans with Emily’s parents who are visiting.

Ever is out right now. She said she had some errands to do but I made enough food for her if she shows up.

As if right on cue, Renner rings the doorbell and I let her in. After a hard hug, I take in the fact that she looks super tired. She’s still wearing her Delta uniform, though she’s loosened the tie around her neck.

Growing up, Renner and her older brother, Flynn, always hung out with me and Nix. Her father is my dad’s brother and we all lived within a few blocks of each other. There are only a few years of age separating all of us. Nix has just turned twenty-seven. Flynn and I, at twenty-four, were born only two months apart, and Renner is the baby at twenty-two. We are about as close as siblings as you can get without actually being siblings. While Flynn inherited the Caldwell golden brown hair, Renner’s was a dark red, inherited directly from her mother, who is a native of Ireland. Renner has pale green eyes, and those could be from her mother as well, since the Caldwell’s side seem to border from darker green to hazel.

“Oh, it’s so good to see you, Lincoln Log,” she says, kicking off her heels and pulling her hair down out of the tightly wound knot at the base of her neck.

I laugh. “Don’t you think it’s time to let go of the childhood nicknames?”

“No way. That’s a good one and will stick around forever.”