Obsidian and Stars (Ivory and Bone #2)(48)

I look over her shoulder at Seeri. It’s nearly impossible to see her face in the gray light that fills this room, but I can see her mouth. It is a hard, flat line. I wonder if she is thinking of Chev, and the fact she will never see him again.

Is she bracing herself for Lees’s reaction to my answer? Is she hoping I will lie?

I wish I could lie—I wish I could pretend that a lie is justified here, but I can’t. “Chev did come,” I say. My throat is thick. My words break apart like sobs. “But he died. Dora and Anki killed him.”

Lees’s eyes grow wide, their dark centers melting as her eyes fill with tears. “They did?”

“Yes.”

“Then they will kill us. They’ll kill us too—”

“No, they won’t. We’re going to get back home to our camp. And if they make it back to our camp, they’ll have to face the council of elders. The Bosha are rejoining the Olen. They won’t get away with this—”

“But what if they never come back to our camp? What if they run away?”

Of course, I’ve already thought of this. I’ve asked myself this same question. Could I leave this island without doling out the punishment I know Dora and Anki deserve? Could I take the chance that they might abandon clan life and never return to face the elders?

Would they dare to come back to the clan, expecting to find support for what they’ve done? And can I be sure they will find none?

“We need to get out of here first. Then we can worry about that,” I say, and this time my voice is strong. “That’s what Chev wanted. He wanted you and me to come home. On our own terms. Because he loved us.”

Lees’s eyes touch mine. There is a hint of skepticism there. I can see she wonders if Chev used the word love or if that’s my interpretation, but she decides not to ask. “All right,” she says. “And you’ll be the High Elder now?”

“Yes.”

I see her eyes drift back toward the place Kol lies on the ground beside me. There’s a question in her eyes. What about your betrothal? But she knows not to ask about that now.

She turns and slides around Seeri. I can hear her boots splashing in the trickling stream under her feet, her hands scratching on the rock. “Hello?” she breathes into the dark.

“Right here.” It’s Morsk’s voice, coming from farther down the passageway. “Right in front of you.”

“And I’m right behind you,” Pek calls. There’s something protective in his voice. I appreciate it—of course I do—but it also makes it plain to me that he wants to keep an eye on Morsk. Even crawling through the rock in the dark, he doesn’t trust him getting too close to Lees.

Seeri turns to me. “I’m next,” she says. She steps into the shadow, then turns and comes back quickly into the light. She draws in a deep breath. “You’re doing well,” she says. “You’re a good leader. Chev would be proud of you. So would Father.”

Before I can answer, she slides back into the dark and out of my view.

I turn back to Kol. “Ready?” I ask. I try to smile—try to push some hint of light into my eyes—but it extinguishes when he shakes his head in reply. “Kol. Stop. You’re next.”

“No,” he says. “I don’t think I am.” He presses his eyes closed, and when he opens them again, they sharpen so much, they pierce me. “I’m not going with you.”





NINETEEN


“I won’t let you do this to me—”

“Mya, I’m not doing anything to you—”

“Then for me. However you see it. But I won’t have it. You’re not going to sacrifice yourself for what you think is my good—”

“That’s not what this is—”

“So I can get away and save myself and the others. You think you’re helping me succeed, but you’re still forcing me to fail. Because nothing about this will be a success if you don’t come with me.”

Kol sits forward and I can see the pain in his eyes. The whites are shot through with red, and the always-warm brown has chilled to the shade of cold earth. It’s as if his fever has stolen the warmth from every other aspect of him. Like it’s feeding on the warmth in his eyes, his voice, his smile.

But not the warmth in his Spirit. That’s still there. That’s the thing pushing him to make a ridiculous decision because he thinks it’s for my own good.

“Mya, I’m not as selfless as you think I am. I’m not planning to stay behind to die—I’m not begging you to abandon me. I want my future too much.” He manages a smile, though it’s weak and thin and holds no joy at all. “I’m betrothed to the smartest, most beautiful girl I’ve ever met. Do you think I’m ready to let that slip away?” Kol pauses, and I wonder if he’s thinking what I’m thinking—that now that I will be expected to fill the High Elder role in my own clan, our betrothal may no longer be possible. If we marry, one of us will need to join the other’s clan. One of us will have to step aside. But can either of us do that? Can either of us let our love for each other be more important than our love for our clans?

“I’ll come. I’ll be right behind you.” Kol makes this promise, even as he winces and lies back down, letting out a long, slow exhale through clenched teeth.