OUTLAW KING(21)

I pushed the clothing magazine away. “I can just go to the mall and look at clothes.”

“No,” Aunt Jane said. “Check out this stuff first.”

She eyed me.

Something was up.

I casually looked back and saw the look of confusion on Jim’s face.

If I knew something was up, so did Jim.

I stood at the counter and blocked his view. I opened the cover of the magazine and saw there was a letter from King.

My mouth went bone dry.

That’s why Aunt Jane had shoved the magazine on me. She was helping me. If Jim had gotten the mail and found a letter from King, he would have shredded the letter and then punished me.

I grabbed the magazine off the counter. “I guess I’ll go check out the magazine.”

“Good,” Aunt Jane said. “Spend with your eyes and not my wallet.”

“Your wallet is empty,” Jim said. “I’m the one fronting everyone’s life here.”

I smiled. “Thanks, Jim. You’re the best.”

He curled his lip, always in a nasty mood.

I moved from the kitchen like normal and then took the steps two at a time.

I ran to my room and shut the door. Jim disabled the lock on my door a while back after I locked myself in my room. He was drunk and saying things to me. Aunt Jane was at work. He ended up almost breaking down the door.

Sometimes I hated Aunt Jane for not listening to me about Jim. She had to know he wasn’t a great guy. Yet she stayed with him. I really didn’t care about the house. Sure, it was big and comfy and in a nice neighborhood. But the danger was inside the house when Jim was home.

I grabbed the envelope and slid my finger to open it. I got a small paper cut but didn’t even care about the stinging pain. I just wanted to read the letter. See the words. Shut my eyes and imagine King’s voice.

We were still forbidden from seeing each other and since it was yet another summer, he wrote to me when he could. He was spending time with his brother somewhere upstate. At least that was the last I heard from him.

I opened the letter and read:

HEY SWEETIE, I’M ALMOST BACK HOME. What a ride with Tito. He’s crazy, I tell you. I keep trying to tell him about the Reap and get him off the streets. But he won’t. He insists on this bullshit life and it hurts me. Knox covered for me while I went on my trip with Tito. Watching it all happen… I’m thankful for what I have with the Reap. It’s not always perfect. I have a long way to go to get to the table. To be part of chapel. But when I do… oh, sweetie, we’re going to be just fine together.

I know this is all crazy to you now, huh? Not many people understand what this life is about. What it means to ride free. I’ve been doing this for a long time now, whether anyone believes it or not. Right now the only thing missing is you, Linds. I need my girl with me. I don’t even know what I can and can’t write to you anymore. I don’t know who is going to read it. I don’t know if you’re even reading these words.

But I’ll keep writing.

I’m sitting on the ground, leaning against my motorcycle. I just finished a smoke and now I’m watching the last few flickers of daylight as they’re eaten up by the horizon. Tito is over there on his cell, yelling about something. Probably some deal he’s supposed to make. I worry about him. He took care of me for so long, I want to take care of him.

The road we’re on is empty and quiet. It’s really nice. A good spot to think. Yet all I can think about is you. My love for you, Linds. From the first second I saw you. Our first kiss. The first time we took that walk through the park and I bought you ice cream. You got chocolate on your nose and I kissed it off. You said I was gross and I said I loved you. Shit, we were too young for all of that? Probably. But look what we were thrown with. Your parents gone. Your crazy aunt trying to do the best she can. My f*cking family always a mess.

That’s how it goes, right? Two broken people finding each other. Making the pieces come together and finally be whole. I don’t need to be a certain age to discover that shit. Or go through anything in life to experience it. I know it. I feel it in my heart already.

Damn, I miss you so much. I don’t know what’s going to happen this year. You have one year left and I’m already out and living life. I’ll do everything to see you. And you do the same. Nothing can keep us apart. I’ve spent a long time respecting the wishes of a man that isn’t even your father. A man who has hurt you. A man that I’m afraid will keep hurting you. It has to stop, sweetie. I want to take care of you. I can take care of you. I will take care of you.

I hate when people promise each other the word forever, but with you, it’s easy to do.

So here I sit against my two wheel steel piece of freedom and yet I feel like my heart is trapped. By you. I have to see you soon. No matter what it costs me. That’s my promise to you. I’ll never stop fighting. For you. For us.

I LOVE YOU, sweetie

King



I PUT the letter down and could barely find my breath. I stood off the bed and waved my hands, trying to process everything he’d written.

My bedroom door opened a little and Aunt Jane poked her head in. “Lindsey?”

“I’m fine,” I said. “It’s a good thing.”

She came into the room. “What’s wrong?”

“The letter. How could nobody else get it but me and him?”