Nix. (Den of Mercenaries Book 3)(18)

If she didn’t know any better, she would have thought Aidra had no longer been in the room.

“Would you care to tell me why you don’t eat lobster?” he asked, drawing Luna’s attention back to him as he raised his fork.

She blinked in surprise, looking down to the plate in front of her, wondering when she had given him any indication she didn’t like what was offered. “I—”

“The truth this time.”

Chewing her lip, she thought about not answering, but figured there was no point since he would probably force it out of her. “It was his favorite,” she said eventually.

“He?”

“Lawrence Kendall. He—”

“Emmett Kendall’s son,” Kit said thoughtfully. “I’m familiar with them both.”

Did that mean he frequented the Kendall Estate?

He was attractive, more than attractive really, but then again, maybe he needed the power kick like Lawrence. It wasn’t about the girl anymore, but rather the strength they could wield.

When she didn’t answer, Kit’s gaze shifted to Aidra, words falling from his lips in a language Luna didn’t understand. The other woman responded in kind before she nodded and started off into the kitchen, taking Luna’s plate as she went.

“It’s really not—”

“How did you find yourself in Emmett’s brothel?” Kit interrupted, picking up his glass of water. “Did he find you or did you find him?”

He made it sound as though she had a choice in the matter—that she had actively sought out being a slave to Lawrence’s wants. “Neither. I was given to him.”

He nodded, but like his brother, he didn’t seem very interested in the information, making Luna wonder why he had even bothered to ask. “And I assume you were then offered to Lawrence?”

“Not exactly.”

Kit looked confused. “I don’t understand what you mean.”

Luna fidgeted with her hands in her lap, her leg bouncing beneath the table. “I was supposed to be one of the girls—Emmett’s girls—but Lawrence wanted me to himself.”

“Was that not preferable to the other possibility?”

“Are you serious?” The question exploded out of her before she could swallow it back down.

The way he made it sound, she should have been appreciative that Lawrence had chosen her, as though everything he had put her through couldn’t have possibly been as bad compared to what she might have suffered at the hands of others.

Kit didn’t look apologetic, but he was regarding her differently now. “I—”

“No, I never considered who I would prefer to be raped by when I was there. And no, when I was fourteen, or the three years since, I didn’t want Lawrence, or his friends.”

What suspiciously sounded like a curse sprang from his mouth as he dropped his fork with a clatter on his plate, the rest of his food left untouched. “It was a poor choice of words. I didn’t mean to imply—”

“If I was given a preference, I would have chosen not to have Lawrence’s attention.” Her eyes stung with the need to cry, her fists clenched tight. “There was a time limit for the men that came there—I’m sure you remember that well—so they took what they wanted then left. There was no leaving with Lawrence. When he wanted to rape me, he did. It didn’t matter when, where, or who was watching. So if you think I wanted that, you’re as sick as he is.”

“My apologies, Luna,” he whispered.

And he actually sounded sorry, but Luna didn’t care—she was under no obligation to.

“Can I go?” she asked looking down at her hands.

She wanted to get out of there, to escape from this disaster—at least before she made a fool of herself and actually cried. She had learned to hold them in when she was with Lawrence because he craved them—hey were what got him off the most besides her pain—and she wasn’t going to let him make her cry just because he hurt her feelings.

“You haven’t eaten,” he pointed out, oddly.

Did he think that really mattered?

“I’m not hungry.” It wouldn’t be the first time she went to bed on an empty stomach. Another day wouldn’t hurt.

But Kit wasn’t willing to give up that quickly. “I offended you, that wasn’t my intention.”

Maybe he hadn’t, but the damage was already done. So for once, Luna did something she usually didn’t.

She squeezed her eyes shut a moment before saying, “Please.”

Kit looked like he wanted to argue further, but ultimately he sat back with a sigh, and nodded once.

Luna was out of her seat in seconds, careful not to disturb the new plate setting as she slipped out of the chair and darted off back down the hallway.

But when she got back to her room, she didn’t go to bed as she’d intended, but slipped out the French doors, sitting down near the very edge of the stone balcony where she had the best view of the moon and stars.

This, she thought with emotion squeezing in her chest, this was as close to freedom as she would ever get.

But … it didn’t have to be.

Uilleam had told her before he disappeared that she was free to walk the grounds, so at the very least, she could leave this room.

She wanted to feel the grass beneath her feet—feel the cool air on her skin and breathe it all in.