Night Study (Soulfinders #2)(24)

I thought about it. I’d been in plenty of dangerous situations without Valek. But this time... This time I was vulnerable. The most vulnerable I’d been since I’d been a lab rat for Reyad.

And every time I’d been in mortal peril, Valek had saved me. Not always physically, but even just hearing his voice gave me the strength to stop Owen. When I’d been trapped in the fire world, the thought of never seeing him again motivated me to find a solution.

Besides, what was wrong with being selfish? Someone else could be the Liaison. Someone else could be a target for assassins. I could just be with Valek.

Except... Yeah, that was the kicker. Except, I couldn’t. Even without my powers, I remained in a position to help, and the last thing I wanted was war between Ixia and Sitia. Not when I might have a child. A country at war was no place to raise a child. Eventually, I’d need to return to Sitia.

My courage had scattered on the ground like leaves fallen from the trees. I gathered my bits of mettle, tucking them into my heart. Each one increased my motivation to learn how to survive without my magic. Bonus that the perfect person to teach me also happened to be my heart mate.

The door to the shelter creaked. I turned. Valek strode out into the sunlight. He combed his fingers through his sleep-matted black hair, but his alert gaze scanned the area. His stiff posture relaxed when he spotted me by the horses.

“Any trouble?” he asked.

“No.”

“Good.”

“Anyone else awake?” I asked.

“The people from MD-2 are packing their bags. Onora and Janco are still asleep. Since we’re ahead of schedule, I’m going to find a local patrol, see if they spotted Owen. Can I borrow Kiki?”

She would sense any magical traps. “You have to ask her. And I suggest you bribe her with milk oats.”

He smiled. “Sounds like your brother.”

As he offered Kiki the treat, I thought of Leif. One good thing about Owen, Rika and Tyen being in Ixia—I didn’t have to worry about Leif running into the magicians. I hoped he’d received Valek’s message about the booby traps.

What if he didn’t?

A vision of shattered glass piercing his body flashed. My stomach rolled with nausea. I swallowed and dismissed the horrible scene. Just my overactive imagination. Leif would smell the trap and not be skewered as I’d been. I hoped.

Kiki allowed Valek to saddle her. But before he left, he drew me close. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m concerned about Leif.”

“He’s quite capable of taking care of himself. And Devlen is with him.”

“I know. It’s just...” I fisted my hands.

“Just what?”

“It’s been forty days since I woke up without my magic. And just when I think I’ve come to terms with it, or just when I’ve mustered enough gumption to learn how to live without it, some comment or some incident sets me back, and I realize just how much I lost and it feels like day one again—all raw and new.”

Valek embraced me. Winded from my outburst, I rested my head against his chest and breathed in his spicy musk.

“You’re frustrated, love, and that’s understandable. We’ll figure it out one way or another. We always do.”

“But—”

“Tell me one mystery we haven’t solved.”

I searched my memory. About to concede the point, I thought of one. “Onora. Is she friend or foe?” And another I wouldn’t voice—Am I pregnant?—because I suspected I already knew the answer.

“Too recent. I’m still working on it, but I’m confident I’ll know in time. Just like your problem. The solution may be revealed tomorrow, or not for seasons, but it will be. No doubts.”

Wrapped tight in Valek’s arms, I believed him. But I expected that my doubts would creep back in. For now, though, I allowed hope and his warmth to sink into my bones.

Far too soon, he released me. Valek tucked a loose strand of my hair behind my ear. “I’ll be back soon.” He kissed me, then mounted Kiki.

She butted my cheek with her muzzle before heading out. I wiped horse slobber from my face. The shelter door creaked again. Two men, wearing cloaks marked with tan-colored diamond shapes, exited. They glanced at the horses with worried expressions before heading for the road at a fast pace. I wondered if they’d recognized Valek.

When I entered the shelter, Onora was crouched next to the hearth, poking the ashy remains for a sign of life. A small flame erupted and she added logs until flames danced brightly. Pouring water into a pot, she set it near the fire. A cup with a tea bag rested nearby.

“Have I turned you into a tea drinker?” I asked in a low voice as I joined her. Janco remained asleep.

“It’s for you.”

“Oh?”

“I noticed you drink that ginger tea every morning, so...”

“That’s nice. Thank you.” Or was it nice? Was she waiting for confirmation that her little stunt had worked? That I needed the tea to soothe my uneasy stomach? I vowed she’d be the last to know.

Onora sliced cheese and bread, assembling breakfast for us. I regretted my harsh thoughts a little. While Valek and Janco searched for the tunnel, she’d taken care of me, letting me sleep and recover my strength. Perhaps she felt guilty? With her it was hard to tell. She said little and we hardly talked, which seemed to suit her just fine. No wonder Janco bugged her so much. I grinned, just thinking about it.