Never Standing Still (The Never Duet #1)(52)
“Of course not,” he said, his hand moving back into my hair and resting on the back of my neck. “Have you?” he asked nervously. I bit my lip and shook my head slightly. He exhaled and leaned his forehead against mine. “What are we doing?” he whispered. He sounded pained, as if our conversation was actually hurting him, and that bothered me. I didn’t want him to hurt in any way.
“I don’t know. All I know is that the way I feel about you scares me. I’ve never felt this way about someone and I’ve never felt the need to be with anyone like I do with you. I don’t know how it’s supposed to work, and I don’t know, specifically, how it can work between us.”
“I’m not asking you to rearrange your life, I’m just asking to be allowed in. I just want in.”
His voice was so low and needy. His hands gripped me as if he were afraid I’d drift away if he let me go.
“You’re in it, I promise you are. And I’d love to be your girlfriend,” I said with a tiny, shy smile. His lips came to mine and I could feel his smile against my mouth. My heart lifted at the idea of making him happy. He pulled away and his hands found the sides of my face. “But I need your help, and your patience. I’ve never done this before and I know I’m going to mess up, make mistakes. Promise me you’ll go easy on me.”
“You want me to go easy on you?” he asked, a smug grin taking over his lips as he pulled me down further on the bed so I was on my back.
“Well, I mean,” I said breathlessly, just his husky voice making me throb. “Only within reason.”
“So, you want it rough, then?” His hand reached between us and his fingers found my opening, sliding two in effortlessly. “Christ, you’re already wet.” He stroked me, rhythmically thrusting inside me, bringing me an orgasm like a quick, hot, lightning strike. Still in a haze, I heard the condom wrapper tearing open, then seconds later felt Riot filling me, confirming what I’d learned the night before—he fit me perfectly.
He was deep inside me when he laid his weight on me, then moved his hands up my arms, finding my hands and linking our fingers together. Then he was kissing me, his tongue stroking into my mouth as his hips matched the rhythm. The combination of the quiet and poignant kiss, coupled with the deep and slow thrusts of his hips, brought up more than just my arousal; suddenly I was emotionally invested, and I realized he was making love to me.
I clammed up with panic at first, never having made love with anyone before. He must have sensed my tension because his mouth came away from mine, only to move to my ear, whispering, “It’s just you and me.”
I couldn’t be sure what he was trying to say to me in that moment, but it calmed me nonetheless. Regardless of my inexperience with relationships and feelings, I had lots of experience with Riot, talking with him, listening to him, laughing with him, and that was all that mattered. I let myself accept all the feelings that came along with his weight, with his connection. I trusted him to keep me safe, even my emotions. And that, in itself, was liberating.
I opened my eyes and saw him looking down at me, his caramel eyes soft and open, then I leaned up and pressed my mouth to his, trying to reassure him that I was all right. One of his hands came loose from mine and ran down the side of my body, brushing over the side of my breast, causing all kinds of goose bumps to prickle over my skin. His hand reached my waist and slid into the hollow created between my body and the mattress at the small of my back, and he grasped my ass, pulling me further onto him, thrusting himself that much deeper into me.
I cried out at the sudden feeling of being gloriously full, and then moaned when his deeper thrusting brought on a new sensation of being wound tightly. My muscles were coiling, the white-hot burning that hurt so good spreading slowly through me, and I let myself surrender to it.
“Yes,” I heard Riot growl, but didn’t open my eyes. “This is us, Kalli. This is your body loving mine. Only my body does this to you.”
“Oh, God,” I moaned, very close to reaching my peak.
“Tell me it’s only me, Kalli,” he said, grunting and panting above me, his fingers clutching at my ass. “Say it.”
“You’re it,” my mouth uttered before I’d even thought the words, my heart obviously speaking before my mind had a chance to intervene. “It’s only you,” I said, a little slower, willingly and truthfully. His mouth crashed into mine, the kiss urgent and desperate. His thrusts followed suit, becoming quicker and stronger.
When I finally fell into the glorious release of my orgasm, I heard him follow, grunting and moaning as he came. Then, for a moment, we were both still, the only sound being that of our breaths. When he leaned up and looked at me, he was smiling and I found myself mirroring him, the corners of my mouth turning up.
“I never thought you’d agree to be with me. I had planned to spend months trying to convince you that we should be together.”
“Well, if that’s how you go about convincing me, I should have held out a little longer.” He laughed, which sent ripples of excitement through my body, as he was still inside of me. When he pulled out I tried not to audibly gasp at the feeling of loss, at the emptiness. He stood and walked to the bathroom, and I watched him walk away from me, naked, and then rolled into the pillows, making sure the stupid grin on my face was buried in them.