Never Love An Outlaw (Deadly Pistols MC #1)(108)

That's it, Missy. This is when you've officially lost your mind.

I couldn't argue with the voice in my head. But the day dreams on the other side wouldn't stop humming. I absentmindedly ran my tongue over my lips, wondering how he'd taste. How would those powerful slabs of meat on his bones twitch and jerk if I put my tongue to them? My lips? My teeth?

A cool breeze blew as he started to walk back to the passenger side and climbed in. It hit me right in the middle, near the waist, pushing against my jeans. I shuddered, realizing how wet these stupid, dangerous thoughts were making me.

I shouldn't have been falling for the good cop. No matter how hard he fought and tried to protect me, I had to remember that's what he was in the end. He was one of them, part of my prison. He was the smooth side of my cage, holding me in rough uncertainty.

And not just me, but Jackie too – the most unforgivable thing of all.

If it were just me...I might've done something really stupid. I might have thrown my hand on his, pulled him close, and kissed him while I thanked him for what he'd done.

But until my sister was free, I wasn't doing anything. These mad, mad fantasies couldn't run amok, couldn't make me do something that would only delay our freedom.

I forced my hands to the wheel and drove when he gave the signal. We didn't talk much on the ride towards Redding proper. When we were nearing the city limits, he turned to me and stared.

“What?” I said, flustered.

“You did good tonight, babe. Shit would've gone off without a hitch if Serial hadn't let his drunken dick get the better of him. I'll do whatever it takes to keep that * away from you in the future. No bullshit.”

“It was okay up until then,” I agreed. “I'm just glad it turned out okay in the end...I mean, assuming those guys aren't going to come after you.”

“They'll let it ride,” he growled. “Club's got too much on its plate to worry about a little dirty blood between brothers. Long as I can keep it under control on my end and not plant a dagger in that f*cker's guts while he's taking a piss.”

My chest tightened. Was he serious?

The savage look of satisfaction on his face reminded me once again who and what I was dealing with. These men really killed, and I remembered how close to sudden death they'd brought Jackie and I on the night they came for the money. Brass saved us then too.

I stopped and wondered, new darkness creeping into my head. If he wasn't there...

You wouldn't be here to worry about it, I thought. It was truer than anything else rolling through my head all evening.

“Listen, that other shit earlier...” He bared his teeth.

I knew he was talking about the blonde. Jealousy seethed in my blood, unwelcome as it was surprising.

I waved my hand. “It's none of my business, Brass. It's your life. You're welcome to do whatever you want behind closed doors.”

Except this one was wide open. And, of course, I was lying right through my teeth. Thinking about him and the nasty girl with the golden pigtails made me want to claw things to shreds.

“No. You got more than your fill of all the shit the brothers do at these parties tonight. You didn't need to see it from me.” He swallowed. “I didn't want it. She tried to stick her * where it didn't belong. I've f*cked her before, but that shit was in the past. We're done. Something's changed. Thinking about that * anymore just makes me sick.”

“You can do better. Seriously.”

I flushed as soon as the words were out of my mouth. Being rattled so many times in a couple hours killed the brain-to-mouth-filter.

Brass looked me up and down. Then he laughed, filling the truck with his deep baritone. I couldn't help but smile.

“I'm laughing because it's f*cking true. Not just with chicks, I mean. Trying to do better's the story of my f*cking life since I left Montana. Better's all I got.” He paused, as if considering his words. “Thing I hate most about change is how it warps your vision. Some of the shit I see with a clear head, I'd strike down in a heartbeat if I really had a choice.”

“The stuff going on with your club?” I asked.

He nodded. “Just when I think we've reached our limit, some new * has to make a ruckus, painting everything darker. More bitter. I don't know what's gonna come outta f*cking around with the cartel, but I don't want any part of it. Not if it means my own brothers are gonna keep acting like f*cking jackals.”

My hands tightened on the wheel. He wouldn't take his eyes off me, tracing my curves. That heat was back, shades of nervous excitement I couldn't quite define, let alone handle.

He was so hard, so intense. No, handling him didn't come natural, but damn if I didn't want to try. This man might be the death of me, a fatal attraction I was destined to follow into the fire. Whether I'd meet heaven or hell there was anyone's guess, and for the first time since all this went down, I was ready to start taking bets.

“You...you never should've been swept up in this shit. I don't care what your father did,” he said. “We should've taken the money and let you go. If it wasn't so f*cking hard convincing guys to do the right thing anymore, we wouldn't be stuck playing pretend. Fuck, babe, if there was a way I could've saved you and your sis without ever using the words 'old lady...'”