Never Have an Outlaw's Baby (Deadly Pistols MC #3)(67)

I wanted to go home.

I wanted to hold my kid.

And I wanted to put my lips on Summer's, good and slow, without either one of us ever wanting to pull away.



*

The next thirty hours were just a f*ckin' blur.

I had a vague sensation of my brothers carrying me to the truck, putting a better dressing around my f*cked up shoulder, and throwing pills down my mouth like candy.

Alex was in the kiddie seat next to me in the back. I reached out, holding his little hand, watching him sleep.

I blacked out sometime in the first few miles.

When I woke up, I was flat on my back, Dust's ma, Laynie, standing over me.

She had her long gray hair pulled back in a bun. She checked the IV plugged into my arm before turning to the Prez, muttering a few words.

“He's stable, Dusty, but I'm worried about infection. If he takes a turn for the worse, we have to bring him in.”

“Infection? Bullshit. He's a tough sonofabitch. No f*ckin' germs are putting him under, ma.”

Laynie turned to me, noticing I'd woken up. “Oh, Jesus. Don't move. You've lost a lot of blood, Joker. Lots of bones in casts. Don't freak out.”

Easy for her to say. For a second, I tried flexing my limbs, but everything moved like it was stuck in concrete. The drugs, the daze, the overwhelming blows I'd taken the last couple days struck like a truck colliding into my ass before any panic could set in.

I blacked out.

When I came to, it was like somebody lit a furnace under my ass.

No, wait. More like my entire back.

When I opened my eyes again, the hurt all over me turned to fire. I sweated through the worst f*ckin' fever of my life.

Summer sat next to me, squeezing my hand something fierce, tears in her eyes. “Goddamn it, stay with me, Jackson. I've been waiting all day for you to wake up.”

“Sorry, babe. I'm so f*ckin' sorry...”

“Don't.” Her little fingers covered my lips. I could barely feel them through the delirium. “Don't apologize. Please. I'm the one saying sorry. I tried to run from you, Joker. Ran like hell when I should've known it was way too late. Truth is, I didn't want to be hurt. I couldn't handle it again, after I'd loved and lost, knowing Alex might be gone, too. But you weren't the one hurting me. I screwed up – never should've blamed you for what that bastard did.”

“He's dead now, baby girl. Motherf*ckin' dead.”

Her eyes widened, just two big, green, placid oceans. “Yeah, he is. You saved us. You saved Alex.”

“Whatever. Did what I f*ckin' had to. I ain't no hero. I stopped playing at that shit years ago.”

“Stop,” she said sharply, leaning down, looking over to somebody else and mumbling a few words. “Can I kiss him?”

If it was Laynie, I would've screamed say f*ckin' yes, if only I could've gotten my voice an octave above leaves blowing through the trees.

Thank f*ck, I didn't need to.

She had her little lips on mine, hot and wild as ever, making me feel alive despite half of me being dead. Eaten up with fever and infection.

“You're mine, Joker. You're my hero. My love. You always were, and I wish I hadn't doubted it for so long. Never again,” she sighed, shaking. “Whatever happens, we'll always have family. I love you, and everything you've given me. You're my whole world, and you always will be. You, me, Alex, and Grandpa. Even Bingo.”

Hearing that shit made me smile. Only thing I could do before the hot, fiery darkness reached up, squeezed my throat, and knocked me the f*ck out again.



*

Fifteen Days Later





I sat up in bed, propped up, watching as Laynie worked off one of my casts. Summer was by the window, playing with her hair, Alex bouncing happily in her arms.

Bingo brushed up against my leg. I was smiling too much to give a shit about the pain.

“Here, take my hand,” Laynie said, holding it out. “I want you to try standing. Your shoulder's a lot worse than your feet are, like we discussed, so you should be able to walk.”

That last part, she didn't sound too sure. Fuck it, I had to try.

When I first stood up, it was like I had burning napalm running down my thighs, my knees, all the way to my feet. Summer's eyes were huge, focused on me. I could practically hear her lungs holding in breath.

“Come on,” she whispered under her breath. “You can do it.”

I made it out about a minute, maybe two, before I had to sit my ass down. Laynie lowered me onto the bed, a grin on her face.

“Much better than I'd hoped! Yes sir, I think you'll be back on your feet, with some help, in another couple weeks. Until then, I'm sending you home with this.”

I took one look at the walker and groaned. “You gotta be shittin' me.”

Never f*ckin' thought I'd have this in common with Grandpa, I thought.

Damned well better be a little while.

Over in the corner, Summer laughed. Alex stretched out his hand, waving to me as I grabbed the bars, helped myself up, and took my first brutal steps.

“Just take it easy, Joker,” Laynie whispered. “Exercise your muscles, every day, but don't overdo it. Patience. Ya'll need loads of it here.”