Never Have an Outlaw's Baby (Deadly Pistols MC #3)(60)

Ask me if I f*ckin' cared. Nothing, nothing, nothing else mattered right now except having my family back.

Sixty, Skin, and Firefly shared a look. Lion and Tin hung back, halfway outta their chairs. I'd stopped them all from creeping up and throwing me on the floor with nothing but my words.

“Cap'n? What the f*ck's he talking about? Motorcycle accident got Piece...right?” Anger distorted Firefly's voice.

Very slowly, Dust pulled his pipe outta his mouth, coldly turned his eyes away from me, and looked at the rest of the boys. “No. There's more to that shit I've kept to myself 'til now. Just between me and Joker.”

Practically heard about a dozen jaws hitting the floor. The prospects lined up against the wall looked at each other nervously.

We had about one more second of brutal silence before all hell broke lose.

“You cocksucking, lyin' motherf*cker!” Skin lost it first, flying outta his chair, pointing a stern finger at the Prez like a dagger. “You're gonna tell us what happened, but first we oughta vote on whether or not you keep the f*ckin' gavel for this bullshit!”

Half the boys in the room nodded. I just stood there, fists almost trembling at my sides. Couldn't decide whether I was going to march the f*ck out or break Dust's jaw over this shit.

Dust looked at all the brothers, one by one, a calm like ice running through him.

“Careful, boy. Before you start calling for any changes around here, ya'll better realize I did it to save everybody's asses. We're barely in a position to f*ck with the Deads now, and we sure as hell weren't three goddamned years ago. When we lose one of our own, we've got a blood oath. Every damned brother in this room would've been obliged to risk his life on it. You all would've died, going off before we were good and ready. And so, I sat on it, asked the Veep to do the same, biding our time, 'til we could pay those motherf*ckers back without losing the whole charter.”

“You f*ckin' lied.” Firefly wasn't convinced. His fist came up, falling against the table like a sledgehammer. “You f*ckin' lied to each and every one of us about a dead brother, just like you bullshitted me to my face about boning my goddamned sis!”

Shitstorm status? Hurricane.

Dust and Firefly stared each other down, taking everybody's eyes off me.

The big Enforcer echoed the dark, pissed off energy shredding my guts. I couldn't take it standing here a second longer. I had to f*ckin' go.

Turning, I started marching for the door, but only made it halfway there before it popped open. One of the young, lean prospects we'd taken to calling Buck stood there with a smoke in his mouth, his eyes rolling around like marbles, wondering what the f*ck he'd walked into.

“Guys, I'm sorry as hell to interrupt. But Prez, I thought you oughta know, the Grizzlies are here.”

“Fuck,” Dust said.

Last line of bullshit I heard before I pushed past him, walked the f*ck out, and kicked the door shut behind me. They were still screaming as I made my way to the little room in the back, where Summer was laid up.

Or maybe not so laid up anymore. When I came in, I found her sitting on the bed, staring sadly into a steaming cup of tea.

She looked up. Our eyes locked, and it was like a f*ckin' dagger going into my chest.

All the hurt. All the loss. Everything I felt for our missing kid, except a hundred times worse.

And it was all my fault that I'd let that shit invade her, shut her down, kill her like a f*ckin' cancer.

“Babe,” I said, walking up and putting my arms around her.

She didn't hug me back. My heavy ass heart crashed through my ribs and sank straight to my guts. I wanted to f*ckin' puke.

“What? What do you want?” she whispered, barely moving her lips.

“Came to tell you I'm taking off. I'm going down to Georgia and bringing Alex home, or I'm gonna die trying. I ain't waiting for the rest of the boys. Won't lose another goddamned second while he's with those bastards.”

“I heard about the video,” she said. “Heard it from Meg, who overheard it from her old man, Skin.”

My jaw tensed. I pulled back, staring into her eyes, wondering if I'd ever see that warmth again in her soft, green pools.

“Don't bother thinking about it. The f*cker holding him, he's gonna die, same with all his brothers. I'll do shit that'll turn your stomach. They'll pay, with every drop of blood they got, baby.”

“So, what, then? You came for a goodbye kiss? A medal? To see me drop down, hugging your knees, begging you not to go? Thanking you?”

What the f*ck is she trying to say? I looked at her, rage and confusion whirling in my skull.

“Get the f*ck out, Jackson!” she snarled, pushing hard against my chest. “You won't bring him back. It's all my fault. I should've taken Alex and ran at the first chance, taken him far, far away from all this, before you pulled me back in and ruined my life. You took the only f*cking thing I ever cared about!”

No, no, and f*ck no.

I stood there like a statue, taking all her shit. The regrets, the abuse, the ugly f*ckin' crying. Didn't even flinch when she started screaming at me to go, go, and never come back. I didn't move when she dumped out her tea, looked at me with more hate than a woman's eyes should hold, and whipped the mug past my head.