Never Have an Outlaw's Baby (Deadly Pistols MC #3)(45)

I sucked him like my life depended on it, because maybe it did.

Ran my lips, my tongue, my teeth across his cock, erasing all the years of distance, speaking through the insane, painful barriers between us.

“Fuck, f*ck, f*ck,” he sputtered, pulling on my hair until it burned deliciously. “Fucking shit, Summertime. Take it!”

And I did.

His head swelled, pulsed, and pumped into my mouth. I held him deep, still massaging him as he came, hopelessly trying to catch his come.

It was completely impossible. He flooded me, shot thick ropes down my throat, just pumping and pumping and pumping until his sticky, warm seed ran out around the corners of my lips.

I'd be a total mess by the end of it, and so what?

Right now, nothing mattered, except feeling him growling out his hate, his madness, shooting me full of him. Again.

When he finally softened, I pulled his cock out, and kissed him near the piercing. He jerked himself away, glowering at me again, his eyes as dull and dead as they'd been before.

“Clean the f*ck up and let me know if you need to eat. You can sleep in my room with the kid tonight. I'll take the sofa.”

“You mean...that's it? Just like that?”

Pants pulled up, he tugged on his zipper, leaving me naked while he reclaimed his biker suit like nothing ever happened.

Jesus, I'd been an idiot.

“That's all 'til I decide what the f*ck to do with you, yeah. I'll sleep on it. You rest. You're safe here, you listen to me, and that'll do dandy.”

He walked out, closing the door behind him, leaving me alone for the millionth time.

I buried my face in my hands and broke down, surrounded by his scent.



*

“Wake the f*ck up, sunshine,” a dark voice said, edging me from my dreams.

I turned, reaching one arm out for Alex, and felt – nothing.

I bolted up, heart pounding, and saw him in Joker's arms, the little boy giggling while he reached for his father's face.

It was still dark outside. “Shit. What time is it?”

“Early enough. We've got business at the clubhouse, babe, and you're coming with.”

“Be careful with him,” I said, feeling like a total bitch because Alex looked happier than he'd been for awhile in daddy's arms. “Let me get dressed.”

He left the room, still playfully bouncing the boy in his arms. They were naturals together.

Of course they were. Why did that feel like an arrow through the chest?

Maybe because there'd never be one big, happy family. I was only fooling myself.

There was only Joker and Alex. Alex and me.

Two pairs. Never a whole.

I got dressed as quickly as I could. When I stepped out, Joker sat on the sofa with Alex on his lap, a bowl of pipping hot oatmeal at his side.

“Buckle up, little man. Here comes the Harley on its run...” His hand slowly moved the spoon toward Alex's mouth, stopping as my son laughed.

It would've been heartwarming, honestly, if I wasn't still so pissed. “You need to be careful with that! Make sure it isn't too hot.”

Joker looked up, his eyes on fire. “Ain't a f*ckin' fool, Summertime. It's plenty warm. Not scalding. Tested it myself. Anyway, there's more in the kitchen if you need it.”

My stomach growled, forcing me to swallow my pride and take what he'd left out. I grabbed it and sat down next to them, spooning a bite into my mouth.

Anything would've tasted good. This was almost heavenly, with just the right honey sweetness, a hint of apple, and some cinnamon mixed in.

“Is this instant?” I said, eyeing him carefully as he moved another bite to Alex's small mouth.

“Come the f*ck on.” He snorted. “I'm man enough to wake up and do my cooking. Same recipe Grandpa used to feed us when we were kids. Only fair my son has the same breakfasts I did.”

My son. It sounded so heavy on his lips, so full of pride.

I softened, giving him his moment with Alex. Whatever.

There'd be plenty of time to seethe at him for using me as a doormat later, but for the next ten minutes, I was almost at peace, watching him handle our baby boy like he'd been doing it from day one.

“Okay, kid,” he whispered softly, pulling a napkin off the table and blotting at the little boy's mouth. “Time to go. Keep eating like that and you'll be able to knock men out twice my size someday.”

I rolled my eyes. “Oh, sure. Like I really want him becoming one of your brothers.”

Joker's head twisted, aiming the second hate-f*ck in twenty four hours at me with his eyes. “You're in no position to judge shit, Summer. You don't know a damned thing. Growing big and strong can turn this boy into a billionaire or a f*ckin' quarterback. You're acting like everything I say has the club's stamp all over it. Ain't true.”

“How do I know it doesn't?”

His jaw clenched, but he didn't say anything. I put my hands out, ready to take Alex again. Reluctantly, he passed him over to me, and I hugged him tight.

“Just need to change his diaper, and then we'll be ready to go,” I said, finishing the last of my oatmeal with one hand.

“Damned straight. You leave it to me next time, I'll cover you before we go.”

“Really?” I said, standing up and wrinkling my nose in disbelief. “I can't believe you're so serious about this. I thought you'd leave the diapers and baths to me.”