Never Giving Up (Never #3)(23)

“These guys are pretty hot.” I pointed towards the stage. She shrugged and turned back to watch the mail man deliver his “package.” I poked her again and she looked over at me. “You ok?” She nodded and gave me a weak smile. I didn’t believe her, but wasn’t really in a good place to question her further about it. I turned back to the stage and SURPRISE! The package was his dick.

Again, Megan and her friends brought the house down with their screams and whistles and, while I enjoyed myself, I was very glad to be in my thirties, pregnant, and over the period in my life where male strippers were on my list of things to see. Eventually, after a very provocative finale, the men all took their scantily-clad bows, accepted the dollar bills being thrown up to the stage, and made their exit, bare asses in full view of everyone. The lights came up and I stood, not waiting to see if Megan had other plans. I’d spent many hours watching men, in various forms, shaking what their mommas gave them and I was ready to go to bed.

Once we had filed out of the auditorium and were back to standing on the street, Megan turned to her younger friends.

“Ok, ladies. Where are we headed next?”

“Kell’s is just up the street. They’ve usually got some live music playing.” This coming from Megan’s friend, Beth, whose eyebrows went up, scrunching her forehead as she offered up the next activity.

“Oh! Irish Car Bombs! Let’s go!” Megan started marching, albeit a little sideways down the street, but I managed to catch her elbow.

“Megan, I think I’m going to head back to the hotel. Is that ok? I don’t want you to feel like I’m bailing on you, but, I’m bailing on you.” Megan’s arms came around me in a hug.

“Oh, Fella, I’m just glad you came out with us at all. I love you and I will see you tomorrow.”

“I think I’m going to go too, Megan. I think I should make sure Ella gets to the hotel ok.” Kalli’s voice had the same soft tone mine did, not wanting to upset her.

“Sure, Kalli. Thank you both for coming. I had a great time.”

“We did too, Megs. Make sure you don’t drink too much and make sure you all take the limo back to the hotel. Don’t get into cars with strange boys.”

Megan waved her hand dismissively at me. “Ok, Mom. Thanks. Bye.”

We watched her join her friends as they made their way down the street, the city lights illuminating the night, the tall buildings stretching up into the sky.

“You feel like walking or catching a cab?” Kalli asked.

“Cab. Definitely.” We walked the opposite direction of Megan and the girls, waited at the corner for a minute until we flagged down an available cab. We told the driver which hotel to take us to and settled into the car for the ride.

“Hey, were you ok back there? For a single lady, you didn’t seem to be enjoying the show very much.” I tried to read Kalli’s expression. When she was happy, it was really easy to see it on her face and in her eyes. But when she was emotionally closed down, I struggled to read her at all.

“Sure,” she said as she patted my leg. “I’ve just got some things on my mind.”

“Things?”

She shrugged, looking down at her hands that had found their way back to her lap. “I met somebody.”

I tried to contain my excitement and shock at her words, allowing only my eyebrows to show any inkling of emotion, shooting straight up towards the roof. I knew Kalli had troubles trusting men since everything had happened with Kyle the spring before.

“Oh?” I could see her smile a little, even if she was trying to hide it from me. But the smile disappeared just as quickly as it appeared.

“Yeah, but he’s gone. It wasn’t a big deal.”

“Wasn’t it? You kind of seem like it was a big deal.” I tried to nudge her gently, tried to get her to open up to me.

“I thought it was what I wanted. I told him that it had to be casual, like, a one-time thing. He was ok with it, at first, but then when it was time for him to go, it all just kind of blew up in my face.”

“How?”

“He told me he wanted more. I told him I didn’t.” She sounded broken.

“But you did, didn’t you?”

She nodded and wiped a tear that fell down her cheek.

“Oh, Kalli,” I said as I pulled her closer to me, hugging her. “Who was it?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“It kind of does,” I countered.

“I can’t tell you, though. I’m sorry. I worked with him and if it got out, it wouldn’t be good for him.”

Well, that was a surprise. If it was someone she worked with, I could probably do enough stalking on google to figure it out or at least narrow it down. “You know I’d never tell anyone, Kalli. You’re my best friend. We should be able to tell each other these things.” She leaned away from me, scooted back to her own seat, and I felt her close up on me again.

“It’s ok. I’ll be fine.”

I didn’t believe her and she didn’t sound like she believed herself either. My heart hurt for her. I wanted nothing more than for her to be happy. Kalli was sometimes a conundrum to me. She just kind of showed up in our lives and wiggled her way in. I loved her and couldn’t imagine my life now without her, but trying to get her to open up or talk about her past was a chore. It was as if she didn’t want anyone to know who she was before we met her in Portland. She never invited us to Seattle where she lived. She never spoke about her family, never gave any insight into her world outside of our friendship. Did it matter to me? No. Not in the slightest. She had been there for me in the most emotionally tumultuous time of my life. She’d proven to be more loyal and loving towards me than I had ever imagined was possible. I loved her unconditionally, but I wanted her to trust me, to share things with me.