Never Far Away (The Never #2)(78)
“Tilly,” Ella began softly. “I’ve never experienced any kind of loss to the degree you and Porter have suffered, and I would never presume to understand all the complicated implications his father’s death had on either of you. But I know, without one shred of doubt or uncertainty, that he loves deeper than any man I’ve known because of it.” Ella tried to give Tilly a smile, but it was laced with sadness and tears that wouldn’t stop coming. “He feels everything to the depth of his soul and holds on tighter because of it.” Ella shrugged her shoulders and shook her head slightly. “Maybe he even appreciates things more because he realizes it can all be taken away.” The words rang true with her. Porter had experienced more loss than any person should have to deal with. But instead of being afraid to lose her, it seemed he was afraid of not holding on tight enough, as if he thought losing her would be a product of his negligence instead of just their relationship not working out. How could she argue with loving someone too much? The thought made her smile.
“It’s unfortunate that on some level he feels responsible for the death of his father, but that’s not something that’s likely to go away. His need to protect and love are so deeply ingrained in him because of it. It’s a part of his DNA. The loss he’s suffered is tragic, but he’s gained a unique perspective from it.” Ella did manage a smile at that point. “I’ve never felt so entirely and completely loved in my life. His ability to take his love for me and make it tangible – it’s incredible.” Ella shook her head and looked down at the table, removing her hand from Tilly’s. “I’m sorry if it sounds contrite, but his love for me, it’s almost like a blanket. I can feel it draped over me, keeping out the cold, wrapping me in warmth. It’s the most wonderful thing I’ve ever experienced and I’ll spend the rest of forever trying to make him feel one fraction of the love he makes me feel.” Ella looked up to see Tilly smiling through tears, her eyes focused on Ella.
“I am so glad he found you,” she said sincerely. “I have never seen him as happy as he’s been since he met you. He’s very lucky,” she said softly.
“I think we’re both lucky,” Ella replied.
They were both done discussing sad and depressing topics, and the conversation organically moved back to lighter topics of Ella’s store and her family.
“Will your parents be at the cookout for the 4th?”
“I think they’re planning on coming,” Ella smiled.
“I’ll be glad to see them again,” Tilly said mirroring her smile.
“It’s going to be fun, I think. I’m excited to meet the people Porter works with. It will be interesting to see our two separate groups of family and friends kind of pushed together. Our worlds have been so separated lately. It feels like an either ‘here or there’ sort of thing, splitting all our time between Portland and Lincoln City. It will be nice to see everyone all together in one place.”
Tilly gave her a big and genuine smile. “Everyone will love you, Ella. Now, I think we should head back to the restaurant and make sure it hasn’t collapsed in our absence.”
Porter
On his way to pick Ella up from the restaurant, Porter stopped to pick up some flowers for his mom. He wasn’t around as much as he used to be and he wanted to see his mother smile. Not the obligatory smile, but the ‘my son just melted my heart’ smile. He’d worked hard for that smile before and wanted to make sure she knew he had been thinking about her. He also wanted to say thank you to her for staying with Ella all day while he was at work. He knew she probably didn’t mind at all, but it still meant a lot to him that she was invested in Ella. His mother had done her fair share of shoving women in his face while he was single, trying to get him to settle down with someone, but she never showed the amount of love to any woman he’d been with as she had with Ella.
When he pulled into the parking lot of Tilly’s, he saw Ella standing outside the restaurant talking on the phone. He parked and hopped out, flowers in hand, trying to hide his frustration that she was outside all by herself. He came up to her and slowed when he noticed the distressed look on her face.
“Yes, Officer, I understand,” she said. “No, I’m not in Portland and I haven’t been staying at my apartment.” She looked up at him and gave him a sad look. He continued towards her until she was right in front of him and he kissed her forehead. He felt her lean into him and he took her weight willingly, wanting to be the one she always leaned on. “I hired private security for the store, but again, I haven’t been there since the incident on Friday.” She sounded worried and anxious. He began to rub slow circles on her back with his free hand. “I will Officer, and thank you for calling.” She hung up the phone and he felt her shoulders slump.
“What’s up? Was that the police?”
“Yes, they were just calling to tell me that absolutely nothing has changed,” she sighed loudly and sounded frustrated. “He’s still out there and I’m still hiding from him only, now, the longer he’s still roaming around, the higher the chance is that he’ll find out we went to the police and the more danger everyone is in.” Her breathing had sped up and he could tell she was on the verge of panic.
“Ella, slow down. Take a breath,” he said calmly. “First of all, just because they haven’t found him it doesn’t mean he knows we went to the police. Secondly, even if he did, he can’t get to you. He had only come after you when you’ve been alone. By the way,” he jerked his head back to look her in the eye. “What the heck are you doing out here alone?”