Never Doubt Me: Judge Me Not #2(57)

It’s important that I finish what I’m saying, though, so I continue. “I’m trying so hard to be the kind of man you deserve, Kay, I really am. But it seems like this shit from the past keeps popping up and leading me back to the ways I used to solve problems.” I lift up my hand, make a fist. “Like through intimidation…or by using force.”

An image of Doug Wilson’s frightened face pops up in my head. Kay doesn’t even know about my little discussion with her ex. I think she believes Doug never contacted her because he chickened out. Well, he did, but only due to me. I should go ahead and confess to Kay right here and now. And while I’m at it, I should probably tell her about my deal with Kyle, share with her how my hand ended up bloodied.

But I don’t say a word. I know how disappointed in me she’ll be. I can’t bear to watch how her face will surely fall, how her eyes will fill with hurt. So my secrets remain hidden.

In the meantime, while I’m ruminating, Kay is saying, “Do what you have to do, Chase. I’ll understand.”

Oh, the irony.

I just shake my head. This is not how I envision our future—me not sharing things that she has a right to know, me paying visits to my onetime dealer’s house, me making deals with said dealer, all while Kay blindly supports my antics.

“Christ,” I sigh under my breath as I step down from the truck.

Up on Kyle’s porch, I knock on the metal screen door. I didn’t notice on my last visit, but the flimsy door is covered in kick marks. I knock again and the battered thing clangs and shakes.

“Hold the f*ck on,” someone yells from inside the house.

Three seconds later, Kyle swings open the front door. He wavers on unsteady feet, and says in a slurred voice, “Fuck, Gartner. What—”

His glazed-over eyes slide lazily to my truck. When he spots Kay in the passenger seat, he comes to life.

His lips turn up into a lecherous grin, and I respond in a voice full of warning, “You better wipe that smile right off your f*cking face.”

“What? I can’t appreciate a pretty girl?”

“Not mine.”

Kyle wisely shuts the f*ck up. But after a few seconds elapse, he asks, “What are you doing here, anyway?”

I get right to the point. “You see my brother or that punk friend of his today?”

“What do I look like, a f*cking babysitter?”

I take a step toward Kyle, and he backs up. I’m holding the screen door open and now I’m one step closer to being inside his house.

I nod to the darkened living room, where bottles and drug paraphernalia are strewn all over the floor. “There’s no place to run, Kyle. You may as well just answer the question.”

He fumbles in the pocket of his flannel shirt for his pack of smokes. He digs out a cigarette and places it between his lips. “You mind?” he mumbles.

“No, go ahead.”

Kyle takes a lighter from a pocket of his pants and lights up. He inhales and blows smoke off to the side, then admits, “Yeah, your brother stopped by earlier.”

“Was he with Jared?”

Kyle leans his shoulder on the frame of the door and nods.

I raise an eyebrow. “You sell them anything?”

For a minute, I expect him to give me shit for not getting his money from the addict. But I think he sees in my expression that he best not utter one f*cking word on that subject today.

Kyle takes another hit of his cigarette, exhales, and then looks away. “I didn’t sell either of them any drugs, if that’s what you’re asking.”

I’m surprised he’s answering so willingly, but something is off in his tone. I just know he’s f*cking lying about something.

“So why were they here?” I press.

“Beats me,” he replies. “Guess they just wanted to say hi.”

This motherf*cker is entirely too smug. I know he’s hiding something. He may not have sold them any drugs, but some kind of shit went down.

“You expect me to believe they stopped by on some kind of a f*cked-up social call?”

Kyle tosses his cigarette out in the direction of the yard. As he watches it arc into the air, he replies, “Maybe they wanted drugs, but then they changed their minds. Who knows with kids these days?”

I’ve had enough of this *. I take a step back and let the screen door fall. Kyle catches it a second before it hits his face. Frankly, I’m impressed his reactions are that good.

I point at him and take another step back. “Listen up, Tanner. If you see my brother or his buddy again today, you make damn sure that you continue to not sell them a f*cking thing. You got it?”

Kyle puts his hands up, and behind the mesh screen, he kind of looks like he’s in jail. How crazy is it that this dickhead has never done any time? Nothing, nada. He just continued with his criminal ways, all while my ass remained incarcerated. I’m no innocent, not by any means, but Kyle Tanner takes criminal behavior to a whole new level. After all, I may have been carrying forty hits of X with the intent to sell, but it was his supply that got me busted.

“I got it,” Kyle says, “no drugs for little Gartner and his pal.”

I don’t bother responding. I just turn away and jog back over to the truck.

“I gotta get out of here,” I say to Kay as I jump inside and slam the door. “That f*cker gets in my head.”