Needing Her (From Ashes #1.5)(64)

“She’s right about that, there are way too many cows there,” Tyler said between sips of his coffee.

“You’d like it.” Gage looked at me with an odd expression.

“Hell no, she wouldn’t! Cassi doesn’t like getting dirty, and she hates bugs. Your ranch would be the worst place for her.”

Gage flicked a quick glare at his cousin, then looked back to me. “We have horses.”

I gasped. “You do? I’ve never been on a horse!”

“Eight Arabians. I’ll teach you to ride when you come to visit.” He sat back in his chair and folded his arms, smirking at Tyler like he’d just won something.

Tyler and I both got quiet. My dad told me he was going to let me start taking riding lessons for my sixth birthday and buy me a horse for my seventh. Obviously those things never happened. Not that we didn’t have the money, but my mom wouldn’t even cook for me; no way she would let me do those things. It didn’t help that even though I still loved horses, whenever I saw them I couldn’t stop thinking about my dad.

“Did I say something wrong?” Gage looked confused but kept his eyes on Tyler.

“No,” I said with a soft smile. “I’d like that.”

After a few awkward minutes, Gage stood up and put his mug in the dishwasher before walking toward his room, “Well, I’m gonna take a shower. If there’s anything y’all wanna do today, let me know.”

Tyler scooted my chair closer to him. “You okay, Cassi? Is it because of your dad?”

“No, it’s fine. I mean, I was thinking about him. But I just can’t believe he’s been gone for almost twelve years. I feel like I should be over it, I was so young when it happened, but I don’t think I was ever allowed to grieve, and that’s why it’s still hard. I’m not looking forward to this birthday. I always thought when I got away from Mom and Jeff, I would finally enjoy my birthdays again, but I’m looking forward to it less than ever. I think we need to give me a new birthday, Ty.” I huffed a light laugh. “No one wants a birthday on the anniversary of their father’s death.”

He pulled me onto his lap and held me loosely so he wouldn’t hurt my back. “He was a great dad; you aren’t supposed to get over him, Cassi, you’ll always miss him. And no new birthdays, you’re keeping the one you have and I’ll make sure they get better and better every year.”

I let him hold me for a few minutes before speaking again. “Thanks, Ty, I love you.”

“Love you too, Cassi.”

Gage

OH MY GOD, her dad died on her birthday? What else has happened to this girl? Okay, I’ll admit I left the bathroom door cracked for a few minutes before shutting it and starting my shower. But the way they’d both got so quiet there at the end, I knew I’d said something I shouldn’t have, and I figured Tyler would bring it up as soon as I was gone. I knew she’d be hooked as soon as I mentioned the horses, and she was; I just didn’t know telling her I’d teach her to ride would take them back down memory lane to her dad, who was obviously nothing like her mom or stepdad.

Sitting there talking to her before Tyler had come in was the best morning I think I’d ever had, and it didn’t even last ten minutes. She smiled so much it made my heart swell each time, and God, that laugh. I was right; it sounded just like freakin’ angels. I wanted to die every time she’d start to relax into the chair. Her eyes would go wide for a split second and she’d sit right back up like she’d forgotten about the bruises on her back for a minute. I didn’t have to ask her to know she was in pain; there was no way she could have been comfortable with what I’d seen last night. But even with that, her smile never faltered, and that may have killed me even more. She should have been depressed or crying or something. What kind of person goes through that kind of life, as recent as two days ago, and still finds reasons to smile?

When I walked out of the bathroom, she was still curled up on Tyler’s lap and I blew out a frustrated sigh. I needed to get over her soon, or living there with them was going to be a challenge.

“Hey, Gage?” Tyler called before I could shut my door.

“What?”

“You up to showing us around the city today?”

No. I want to show Cassidy the city, I want you to go the hell back to California. “Sure.”

I shut the door behind me and had just finished getting my jeans on when Tyler walked in.

“You okay, man? We don’t have to go out today, I was just asking. Or Cassi and I could go by ourselves. It’s not a big deal either way, I just figured since you knew the area . . .”

I never asked Cassidy why Tyler didn’t like her name. It was so perfect for her, and why would he even tell her he didn’t like it? Seriously, how were we related? “No, it’s fine, I just have a lot on my mind. I’ll be ready in a minute, we can go whenever.”

“All right, well I’m sure she wants to shower. So it’ll probably be a while,” he called as he walked back out of my room.

I grabbed a shirt and headed out to the living room. Tyler wasn’t there, but Cassidy was sitting at the kitchen table, staring intently at her hands. “You okay, Cassidy?”

She jumped and looked up at me, her brows pulled together in confusion and hurt. She didn’t say anything, just studied my face for a minute, before blowing out a deep sigh and standing up to walk toward their room.