My Sister's Bones(61)

PART TWO




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28


Herne Bay

Tuesday 5 May 2015

Someone is shining a light in my face. I squint and try to remember where I am. When I come to I see a man standing in front of me. From this angle he looks like a giant with great big hairy arms folded across his chest. But as my eyes focus I see that it is just Paul. My husband. And the light is the light of early morning, coming through the conservatory window.

‘What do you want?’ I mutter as I lie back into the folds of the armchair. My mouth is dry and my head hurts when I speak.

‘Sally, I need to talk to you,’ he says. His voice is low and serious.

‘Well, I don’t want to talk to you.’

I squint. The sunlight pouring through the window is making my head throb. I can still taste last night’s wine and if I move I will throw up. I close my eyes and try to pretend he’s not here. Why is he standing over me like this? He knows not to come in here; this is my space. I just want to go back to sleep.

‘Sally, please,’ he says. ‘You need to wake up. We’ve had some bad news.’

I open my eyes and look at him. He’s been crying. I go cold. It’s her.

‘Hannah,’ I whisper. ‘Is it Hannah?’

He shakes his head.

‘No, it’s not Hannah.’

Thank God, I think to myself, as I sink back into the chair. If it’s not Hannah then I don’t care what he has to say. But he’s still there. I can feel him looming above me.

‘What is it?’ I say. ‘Just tell me.’

He sits down on the edge of the table and puts his head in his hands.

‘Paul, for God’s sake tell me.’

‘It’s Kate,’ he says, looking up.

‘Oh, what’s she done now?’ I say, looking around the room for the wine. I need a quick drink just to take the edge off. ‘Got herself kidnapped?’

I can’t see the wine. I must have finished it last night. I stand up and head for the door.

‘Sit down,’ says Paul, putting his hand on my arm. ‘This is serious.’

I look at him. His face is deathly pale.

‘Look, whatever this is,’ I say as I sit back down, ‘Kate will be fine. She can look after herself. Always has done.’

‘Sally, listen to me.’

‘She was only here a little while ago, she seemed fine.’

My hands start shaking. I need a drink.

‘Come on, love,’ he says, leaning forward and taking my hands. ‘Just let me speak.’

‘I’m not interested,’ I snap, pushing his hands away. ‘Kate can look after herself.’

What does he think he’s playing at, coming in here at this time of the morning wanting to have serious conversations when I haven’t even had a drink?

I push past him and head into the living room, but as I get to the door I feel his hands on my shoulders.

‘Sit down,’ he says, guiding me towards the sofa.

‘Get your hands off me,’ I shout. ‘I told you I’m not interested in Kate or whatever trouble she’s got herself into. Get out of my way.’

‘Sally, stop,’ he says firmly.

‘No, I won’t,’ I reply, struggling against him. ‘You don’t get to tell me what to do any more.’

‘Jesus Christ, will you just listen, you stupid woman,’ he yells, gripping me hard with both hands. ‘She’s dead. Your sister is dead.’

Everything goes black and I slump on to the floor.

‘I’m sorry, love,’ he’s saying. ‘I’m so, so sorry. I didn’t want to tell you this way, but you just wouldn’t listen.’

Paul picks me up gently and settles me on the sofa.

‘I’ll get you a glass of water,’ he says as he plumps up the cushions behind my head.

‘No,’ I cry. ‘I don’t want water.’

He sits down next to me and holds my hand.

‘The first I knew about it was last night,’ he says. ‘I was driving home with the radio on and there was a report saying that a makeshift hospital had been bombed in Syria.’

‘Shut up,’ I whisper, but he carries on talking.

‘I took notice,’ he says. ‘Because it was in Aleppo and I knew she was going back there.’

‘Just shut up.’ I dig my nails into his hand but he doesn’t pull away. He just keeps talking.

‘I put the TV on this morning,’ he says, rubbing my hand. ‘And her photo came on the screen. The camp she was in was hit, Sal. There were no survivors.’

‘I said shut up,’ I yell, pushing his hands away. ‘You’re wrong, you bloody idiot. You don’t know what you’re talking about.’

I pummel his chest with my fists and he just stands there and lets me hit him, again and again. I carry on pounding his chest until I have no energy left and I collapse in a heap at his feet.

‘Kate’s always been fine. She can look after herself. You’re wrong,’ I sob.

‘I’m sorry, love,’ he whispers as he puts his arm underneath my head and lifts me off the floor. ‘I’m so sorry.’