Mister Moneybags(62)

Sadness crept in. I longed for the time before this came to light. “I miss you.”

“I’m still here,” he whispered. “I haven’t gone anywhere.” After some silence, he continued, “We need to know. It’s killing me. Are you ready to find out? I won’t push you unless you’re ready.”

I never ended up having the conversation with my mother the night Dex left my sister’s. Now, that conversation was going to be a totally different ball game because I’d not only be telling her about Dex’s identity but also confronting her about whether Dexter Sr. could have fathered Alexandra and me. What a clusterf*ck.

“Where do I start? I feel so helpless,” I said.

“I need to work on convincing my father to agree to a DNA test. I think you need to have the conversation with your mother and sister as soon as possible. We can’t put it off any longer—especially now.”

“Okay,” I agreed. “I’ll call an emergency meeting tonight at my sister’s. We need to get Alexandra to agree to a test as well.”

“Do you want me there when you tell them?”

“Actually, I’m thinking it might be better if I handle it alone. It’s going to be a lot for my sister to take in. I think she would be more comfortable if it was just me.”

“Okay, fair enough. Whatever you think is best. I just wanted to be there to support you if you felt you needed me. Didn’t want you to have to handle the tough stuff alone.”

I hated what I was thinking in that moment.

He apparently could sense something in my silence. “Tell me what’s on your mind right now.”

“You said you didn’t want me to handle it alone, and that made me realize that I might have to get used to a life apart from you. Maybe the sooner I figure out how to do that, the better.”

Dex sounded almost angry. “Don’t say that, Bianca. Don’t even think it.”

My tone changed from quiet to insistent. “It’s true, Dex. I think we need to seriously prepare ourselves for the worst. We’re in denial.”

“Do you think I’m going to just disappear from your life if things don’t turn out in our favor?”

“Well, we certainly can’t remain…close. That would be too painful, don’t you think?”

“Actually, I think the opposite would be far more painful. I can’t imagine my life without you. If it turns out…” He hesitated. “God, I can’t even say it. I can’t even f*cking say it.”

I spoke for him. “If the worst happens…”

He gathered his composure and said, “If the worst happens, I will always want to be in your life. As crazy as that sounds, I care about you way too much to let you go.”

I was confused as to what he meant. “So…we’d be…what…like friends?”

“I don’t think we could really put a label on it but—”

“You’re gonna want to see me with other men?”

Dead silence.

“Fuck. No…I can’t even fathom that. But I’d have to suck it up somehow because I’m going to want to protect you even if it kills me. I don’t want you to ever just disappear from my life.”

I could feel my eyes getting moist. “You say that now…but it will be too difficult, Dex. I don’t think I can handle seeing you with other women, seeing you get married, have children someday. God…those kids…they’d be my—”

“Please, Bianca! Don’t go there. I’m begging you not to think about it like that right now, okay? Just let us have these days of denial. It’s the only good thing about this time of waiting. Alright? I’m not saying to pretend it’s not happening, but try not to go there. Okay? Can you do that for me, baby?”

I shut my eyes tightly to fend off the tears. “You shouldn’t call me ‘baby’….until we know.”

“Fuck that.” I could sense that he was gritting his teeth when he said, “You’re my baby and my Georgy Girl. And I’m gonna call you whatever the f*ck I want. I’m not going to hide my feelings until the day…the second…I absolutely have to.”

I sniffled away my tears. “I hope that second never comes.”





Sitting side by side on my sister’s couch, they were both completely speechless. Alexandra looked like she was going to pass out. I hated everything about this, but it had to be done. And I was glad it was finally out, because holding it in had been killing me.

I’d spent the past half-hour coming clean to them about what I knew and what I suspected. Dex had given me some pictures of his father as a younger man so that I could show my sister the resemblance. She didn’t dispute it; she couldn’t.

My mother was, of course, shocked to learn about Dex’s identity in the first place but once that was revealed, she didn’t seem all that surprised about my suspicions regarding Alexandra’s paternity.

She finally spoke, “I really didn’t think…”

“What?” I cried. “That we would figure this out? Have you never noticed how much she resembles him?”

“I have noticed. But it wasn’t apparent until she got a bit older. By that time, it was too late. Your dad is your father in all the ways it matters. He loves both of you more than life. The technicality of it truly wasn’t going to make a difference.”