Midnight Jewel (The Glittering Court #2)(68)

“No, not at all.” Her voice sounded more upbeat than I’d expect for that kind of statement. No, not upbeat. Rueful. “Iyitsi will enjoy telling me all about how he warned me.”

I frowned, vaguely recalling Grant’s earlier words. “He said . . . he said something about a romance.”

Aiana laughed at that. “Did he? I can imagine the way he said it.”

“Sorry, it’s none of my business.”

“It’s fine. I just hate that he’s always right. It makes him smug—more so than usual.” She sighed again, her voice growing sober. “Maybe he’s right. Maybe I’m not cut out for love.”

“No!” I exclaimed. “You’re wonderful. You just haven’t met the right person yet. Don’t listen to him.”

“You’re sweet. And he is probably the last person I should be getting advice from. I mean, you’ve been around him enough. He’s not that sentimental. Certainly no romantic.”

I hesitated, unsure if I really wanted to know the answer to what I asked next. “That one night you two fought . . . you mentioned something to him about how you at least learn your lovers’ names . . .”

She groaned. “I shouldn’t have said that. It was mean. And to be fair, I’m sure he learns their names first. Though I doubt he remembers them.”

“It’s hard to picture him, um, having any lovers.”

“Well, ‘lover’ might be too generous a term. Maybe ‘partner’ is better? I always think a lover is someone you see more than once. Anyway, it doesn’t really matter. It’s not exactly a common occurrence for him. He doesn’t usually have the patience to charm anyone.”

“I can’t really picture him charming anyone either.”

“Oh, he can do it if he really tries.” We wound along a trail as she pondered my question. After a few moments, she chuckled. “I remember one time we were traveling up north and stopped at an inn for the night. We were eating in their common room, and they had this lovely barmaid waiting the tables. The most beautiful blue eyes in the world. And he came to life.”

Suddenly, I was absolutely certain I didn’t want to hear this. “Aiana, you really don’t need to—”

“You wouldn’t have recognized him. I barely did. Who’d have thought he could be so charming? I suppose it’s just another one of Iyitsi’s masks. He put everything he had into wooing her—and it seemed to be working. After she finished her shift, she sat at our table all evening. She laughed. She smiled. She was having a good time. He was so proud of himself too. And why not? Since she stayed so long, she must have been interested, right?”

When Aiana paused, I realized I was supposed to say something. “Um, I guess?”

“Oh yes. She was definitely interested. Just not in him.” Aiana laughed so loudly that I glanced around uneasily. “You should’ve seen the look on his face when she went back to my room. I almost feel bad about it sometimes. Almost. He had better luck with some other girl the next night, so things worked out for him. Then we were on the road again, and he never looked back. He never does. He doesn’t want to be attached to anyone. He doesn’t want them to be attached to him.”

I was past the point of even trying to carry my half of the conversation. One foot in front of the other. That was all I had to do. We’d reached the marsh, so Wisteria Hollow wasn’t much farther.

“So, that’s him. But me? I don’t know.” Aiana’s voice continued in the darkness, suddenly more subdued. “A night like that is fun, but it’s not what I really want. I want to wake up to the same person every morning. I want to be able to tell her anything. I want honesty and understanding. I want to be dizzy with love and feel it grow more and more each day. But maybe that’s too much to ask. Maybe you and Iyitsi have it right after all.”

“What?” Was it possible she’d found out?

“I see you at those parties, Mira. You’re like him. You aren’t looking for attachment either.” The lights of Wisteria Hollow peeped through the trees ahead. Her earlier sadness returned. “You stay cool. You don’t lose your head. And you know what? You should probably keep doing that—because then you won’t lose your heart either.”

I stared up at the sky, noting the position of Ariniel’s star. “Thanks,” I said dully. “I’ll try to remember that.”





CHAPTER 18


I SPENT ALMOST THE ENTIRE NEXT DAY PROCESSING WHAT had happened with Grant. His rejection filled me with humiliation. I’d brushed off a lot of advances over the years, and as much as I hated to admit it, they had left me with the egotistical assumption that of course men wanted me. All I had to do was show up. Discovering that wasn’t true still stung.

Aiana’s tipsy recounting of Grant’s past left me unsettled too—but that was a more complex feeling to understand. Why should I care that he sought impersonal, one-time liaisons? His dislike of attachment had never been a secret. And I’d made my own intentions very clear. I wanted my own shot at passion before being locked into marriage. I’d even gone so far as to say it didn’t matter if I liked him or not. So, why had he sent me away? I’d offered him exactly the type of arrangement he liked.

“You look like I feel.”