Mercy (Sin City Outlaws #2)(21)

“I care, that’s all you need to know, Felix, if you can’t get on board with that, then f*cking say something.” I am pointing at the wall as if Felix is standing right in front of me.

A heavy sigh breathes into the phone. “I get it, but I need to make sure this bitch is the real deal, man, you’re putting too much on this for her just to be a piece of ass.”

Looking at the closed door that holds Jillian, I curl my lips around the neck of the whiskey bottle. “Bros before Hos, brother.”

“I’d do anything for her to be just a piece of ass, unfortunately nothing with her is easy. That’s why I want her so bad.”





CHAPTER SIX


Jillian



STARING OUT THE WINDOW, the sun crawls across the sky, the moon stalking behind it. My mind and body are so confused, and my soul is beyond repenting. Everything I’ve ever known, preached at for Christ’s sake, has been thrown to the wind. Whipped up in a desert storm, only to fall in a debris of chaos. Chaos that makes up the Sin City Outlaws.

Our attraction was a mistake from the beginning, when that desire grew into love it became punishing.

Our relationship is f*cked up, forbidden even. Couples who have been together for years don’t go through the shit we’ve gone through. I bite my bottom lip in thought. However, Zeek has stood by my side the whole time. Even when I pushed him away.

I guess being here isn’t the worst idea, those who know me wouldn’t think to look for me here.

The door to the bedroom flings open, slamming against the wall so hard I jump. I close my eyes, not wanting to deal with Zeek right now. I just can’t work through what’s going on in my head right now. I hate Zeek, but I love Zeek. Feeling the two is a constant battle. Like Heaven and Hell playing on the same field.

The bed dips with force, what sounds like a bottle slamming on the nightstand. Reaching over, he takes my cuffs off, and I instantly rub at the sensitive flesh. I can’t help it.

Silence fills the room, along with a tension so thick, it’s impenetrable.

“You know, I don’t think I ever said it, but I’m sorry for everything, Jillian.” His words come out relaxed and pained at the same time. I clench my eyes, trying to resist the tears slipping from them, but it’s no use. The smell of whiskey hits me strongly, and I realize he’s drunk. “If I had known he was your father, I would have never—” He chokes on his words, swallowing loudly.

“I know you think I’m a piece of shit, a bad guy who doesn’t give a f*ck, and you’d be partially right. I am a bad guy; the worst kind. But when it comes to you, I give all the f*cks and I would never do something to hurt you, not like that.”

My lungs scream for me to let go and sob, to suck in a gut wrenching breath while a heartfelt cry rips up my throat. I want him so badly, but I feel like us being together is just doomed for nothing but consequences and repercussions. My hands flex, wanting so badly to turn and clench Zeek’s shirt while I seek comfort in his strong hold. To just f*cking let go already.

That’s all I’ve wanted since that night, but it wouldn’t be right. It wouldn’t be fair to my father.

“Your dad wasn’t the greatest guy. In fact…” He pauses, and my tears pause, my harsh breathing seizes, nervous of the words he’s about to spill. “Technically, he killed my father. Looks like the graveyard of Las Vegas is filled with Machiavellian men.”

“Stop,” I whisper, the word coming out more of a croak. My hands wrap around my stomach in disbelief, my body beginning to rock. This can’t be. My father wouldn’t do that, if he did kill Zeek’s dad it was because he was breaking the law and doing his job. Right?

I’m not so sure anymore, and that hurts most of all.

“Your father worked for us,” he continues. His statement hitting what in my heart I know, but didn’t want to acknowledge.

“When my uncle told me I was to kill my father, I laced a cigarette in Ricin, and met up with a certain sheriff to deliver it. Your father was the Reaper that night. He was as dirty as they come, Jillian, he did a lot of things that tainted his hands in the eyes of the justice system. He was fine with it, because he got paid for it in a lot of ways.”

“Stop, Zeek,” I whisper, not wanting to hear anymore. The respectable memory of my dad slowly crumbling. “If your father was trying to take someone down, and it turned out that certain someone was standing in the way of Sin City Outlaws then we delivered them to your father’s department, and, in return, he turned a blind eye to our endeavors when we needed him to.”

Squeezing my eyes shut I feel my world slip from beneath me.

“Your father warned you to stay away from us, forbid you to bring us down because…he was one of us. He was a murderer, a criminal behind a fake badge.”

“STOP!” I scream, turning in my spot I set an icy stare focused right on Zeek.

“I’m sorry you had to find out this way, Rookie.” He grabs the whiskey bottle, curling his lips around the top. Amber liquid spills into his mouth, his eyes hooded, and focused right on me. His thick dark hair falling into his eyes conveying he’s not sorry at all. My eyes grow heavy, my mouth hanging open as my nostrils flare. My confusion teeters on the edge of sadness and anger. “Now you can stop blaming me for everything though.”