Melt (Steel Brothers Saga #4)(33)
I lifted an eyebrow. “What are you talking about?”
“Didn’t Dr. Carmichael tell you?”
“Dr. Carmichael and I don’t discuss you.”
“I gave her permission to.”
“I know that. She told me. But I’m not comfortable with that. So what the hell are you talking about, Talon?”
Talon cleared his throat. “I’m not exactly proud of this, but before I started therapy, there were times when I’d go to the city on the weekends.”
“Yes, I know that.”
“Sometimes I’d find a girl and have meaningless sex. Other times I…”
“Yeah?”
“Other times I’d walk down a dark alley on skid row, find someone to mug me so I could beat the crap out of him.”
I shot my eyes open.
“God, don’t look at me like that.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I never beat someone up for the hell of it. I waited for him to try something on me.”
“Sounds like you put yourself in danger.” I was one to talk. To think, my brother hung around those sleazy alleyways for the exact opposite reason I did. Him to feel more in control, me to punish myself.
God…that was how we’d both ended up in that bar. What if we had run into each other?
“You don’t do that anymore, I hope.”
“Of course not. I don’t feel like I need to. I look back, and I wonder why I ever did it. It didn’t change anything. Kicking the shit out of Colin didn’t change anything either. I’m lucky I didn’t get locked up. And none of it mattered anyway. It didn’t change the fact that I was kidnapped and raped by three men.”
“I know. I’m sorry.”
“Oh, Christ. I didn’t tell you this for you to feel bad. None of this is your fault. You know that, and I know that.”
I gulped. I did know. I knew it as a sane, logical person. But it wasn’t my logical side that had the issue. Still, that last time I went to skid row myself, I hadn’t done anything. That had to be a good sign. At least that’s what I kept telling myself.
I wasn't ready to tell any of this to Talon. “I’m glad you don’t feel you have to do that anymore. You could’ve gotten yourself into big trouble.”
“I know. Believe me, I was careful. I never did any lasting damage, and I was long gone before a cop could have gotten there. But none of that makes it right. I was wrong to do those things. Like I said, it didn’t end up making me feel better anyway. The only way it would have made me feel better is if I’d met one of my abductors in a fucking alleyway. But I never found a guy with a missing toe, or a guy with a phoenix tattoo, or a guy with a birthmark the shape of Texas.”
My heart dropped to my stomach. “What are you talking about? A birthmark shaped like Texas?” Jesus, Bryce had said his father had a birthmark with that shape. Of course, he hadn’t said where the birthmark was. “I thought you only remembered something about two of the guys.”
“I’m sorry. I should’ve told you. My mind has been focused on that damned rose that was left on Jade’s pillow. I’ve spent the last several weeks trying to figure that out. But yeah, Dr. Carmichael did a guided hypnosis with me several weeks ago. She took me back to that time and that place.” He visibly shuddered.
“You don’t have to go on. I can tell this is bothering you.”
“I’m okay.” He twisted his lips, his features grim. “Anyway, she took me back…there. Back when they were…doing it to me. It was freaky, Joe. I was there. I really was there. Anyway, I was able to look around. The guys, sometimes they wore black wife-beaters. And I noticed, on the one I remember having a low voice, that he had a birthmark on his right arm. On the underside, right under his armpit hair. It was a weird shape, and I didn’t realize at the time what it was shaped like, only that I knew I’d seen the shape before. As an adult, I figured it out. It reminded me of the shape of the state of Texas.”
My blood ran cold.
It was after midnight, and instead of going home, I drove into town, to the mayor’s house, where Bryce was staying with his parents. I had tried calling his cell phone, but he didn’t answer. He was probably in bed, and most likely so were his parents. I didn’t righteously care. I had to know.
I drove up to the mayor’s house and skidded my car into park. I ran up to the door and rang the doorbell, my pulse racing. I waited. No response. I rang the doorbell again.
Again, no response. So I started pounding on the door, pounding as if my life depended on it. Damn it, Bryce. I have to talk to you.
No one answered. There were no lights on in the house, but the dog was barking behind the front door. Certainly they could hear me. I continued pounding on the door, until finally the elderly neighbor lady looked outside the front door.
“What’s going on over there?” she yelled.
“Nothing, Mrs. Norris,” I said. “It’s just me, Jonah Steel. I need to talk to Bryce.”
The woman walked forward in her bathrobe and slippers. “For goodness’ sake, Jonah, stop all that racket. The Simpsons aren’t home.”
“Where the hell are they?”
“They drove to Grand Junction to the hospital. Something was wrong with the baby.”