Melt (Steel Brothers Saga #4)(10)

That’s why I must leave. Please don’t worry about me. I’ve chosen a painless and cowardly way to die. For that’s what I am, a coward. I don’t have anything more to give to this life.

I will love you forever, even beyond the grave.

Yours,

Gina



I sighed as tears emerged in the corners of my eyes. I had a good record with my patients. I was able to help most of them, and the few I couldn’t help, I always referred to someone else.

But I hadn’t been able to help Gina Cates. She’d come to me about a year ago, suffering from night terrors and depression. She’d been repeatedly raped by her uncle between the ages of eight and thirteen. She never told anyone about the abuse, and the uncle was now dead. However, I’d been blind to the fact that she’d fallen in love and blind to the fact that she was suicidal. That haunted me to this day. Was it because I was a straight woman that I didn’t recognize that another woman loved me? I’d been over and over it in my mind. I should’ve noticed. I should’ve had her hospitalized. I should’ve done a lot of things, but I hadn’t.

If I had, Gina might still be alive.

She had closed herself in her garage, opened her car windows, and turned on the ignition. The carbon monoxide put her to sleep and killed her peacefully. She stayed in her garage for three days, until I received the letter. I alerted her parents and the police, saying I was concerned because she’d missed an appointment, and they found her.

I never told anyone about her letter.

I cradled my head in my hands, sitting down in my chair at my desk. I concentrated on holding back the tears that wanted to fall, until I jerked forward. Someone had knocked on my door.

I grabbed a tissue and wiped my eyes and nose quickly. I cleared my throat. “Yes, come on in, Randi.” I stood.

But it wasn’t Randi who opened my door.

Jonah Steel, in all his masculine glory, walked into my office.

“I’m sorry to bother you, but I think I left my—”

I ran into his arms, nearly knocking him over. The tears I’d tried so hard to hold back gushed forth, wetting his black cotton shirt.

He gently stroked my hair, saying nothing. I held on to him in a fierce clench. He was so hard, so solid…like a rock in the midst of a stormy hurricane at sea. I sobbed into his shoulder, soaking him, but still he stroked my hair, murmuring gentle sounds.

“It’s okay,” he said. “Whatever it is, it’s okay.”

Oh, if he only knew.

He moved backward, trying to release my hold on him. At the thought of him leaving, I grabbed him, wrapped my arms around his neck, and pulled his mouth toward mine.

Unprofessional, yes, but that was my last thought when his firm lips opened beneath mine.

He returned my kiss, swirling his tongue into my mouth. He tasted of sweet mint and cloves—so perfect and so right. I had dreamed of kissing him when I saw him at that hotel bar months ago. He was so out of my league, but right now he was responding to me. He pulled me closer, ground his hardness into my belly. My God, is he as attracted to me as I am to him?

When I pulled away, taking a needed breath, he bit my earlobe.

“I’ve wanted to kiss you like that since I first saw you,” he whispered. “And today, sitting across from you, I could hardly think of anything else.”

I melted against him. He wanted me? Truly wanted me the way I wanted him?

No more talking. I drew in all the oxygen I needed and pressed my lips back to his. He kissed me with fervor, passion, so deeply—more deeply than anyone ever had.

The kiss was trance-inducing, as if I’d never been kissed before. As if all the men who had ever kissed me were just leading up to this—the ultimate kiss, the only real kiss I’d ever been given.

I poured everything inside me into the kiss, wanting desperately to escape all my troubles. Jonah Steel was alone. Alone like I was. Struggling with responsibilities he felt he had neglected.

But no kiss, not even one this amazing, could make up for those neglected responsibilities. I was a therapist. I knew better than to be seduced into a physical break from reality. I forced my mouth from his, whimpering at the loss.

I stumbled backward, nearly losing my footing, but he caught me. I looked into his dark gaze. Fire burned within those eyes. Fire that I wanted to stoke with more kisses, more…everything.

“I’m so sorry.” I touched my lips, so tender from his kiss. “I… I don’t know what came over me. That was completely unprofessional. Please believe me. I’ve never done anything like—”

His lips came down on mine again, and all the sense I’d just had a moment before fled out the window. Again I opened for him, and again I took his tongue into my mouth. My nipples tightened against my bra, threatening to poke through the cotton fabric. Again his hardness nudged my belly. If only this could be. If only I could take what he was offering and escape—escape the responsibility for Gina’s death and everything else that had gone wrong in my life. But again, reality prevailed. I knew better, better than anyone, that I couldn’t run away from my problems.

Still, my body was ready. I throbbed between my legs, my nerves on edge. My senses were heightened, and I inhaled. He smelled of leather and musk, a little like the outdoors. He ravaged my mouth, taking and giving. And I gave back. I poured everything into that kiss, even though I knew it was wrong.