Mated in Mist (Talon Pack #3)(15)

“I don’t know how I ended up here.” Leah let out a frustrated breath. “I feel like I’m walking through a fog and I can’t find my way out. One minute, I’m running for my life; the next, I’m somehow living with a man I don’t know.” She met Ryder’s gaze. “Why am I here, Ryder? Why do I feel this pull to you? Is it magic? Because it’s not my magic.”

Ryder ran a hand through his hair. There was only one way to do this. Either way, it would hurt, but putting it out there clear and concise would make it easier. At least, he hoped.

“We’re mates.”

Her eyes widened fractionally. “I had guessed that.” She tilted her head, looking so much like a wolf it surprised him. “And yet, you don’t sound happy about it.”

She’d guessed? Well, he supposed that made sense. Witches grew up learning the stories of mates and wolves.

“The moon goddess blessed wolves with the ability to form a mating bond. With that bond comes an understanding of true harmony. Your soul will literally be touching another through that bond. Sometimes, the mating urge comes as quick as an intake of breath and it’s mating at first sight. Sometimes, it takes years for the wolf to trust enough to sense an ability to mate. Through a mating bond comes connection…but not love. That comes from the human half.”

She shook her head then leaned against the counter. “So you’re saying your wolf wants me.” She met his gaze. “But the human half doesn’t.”

His chest ached, but he didn’t nod, nor did he shake his head. “I didn’t say that.”

“No, but you’re not truly explaining yourself either. I don’t know you, Ryder. And you don’t know me. It’s okay that you don’t love me. I mean, I think this is our first true conversation without anyone around. It’s not like we’re in a fairy tale with hearts and stars in our eyes. I don’t love you. I don’t even know you.”

He didn’t know why that annoyed him, but he wasn’t going to think about it. He needed to get his point across and finish his explanation.

“In a wolf’s long lifetime, they can find more than one potential mate. But never once the bond is in place. So, if for some reason, the first person they find doesn’t work out or they find themselves friends rather than mates, they can find true mates later. Or, if the worst happens and a mate dies, they can mate again.” He thought of the darkness in another’s eyes, thought of the secrets that person held, but pushed that away. Those secrets would be revealed later. They had to, or that person would fade away into an eternity of pain.

Again, he needed to move past the thoughts in his head and work on the words that wouldn’t seem to come.

“Do you have another mate in mind?” she asked, her voice emotionless.

He cursed. “No. I don’t have any mate in mind. That’s the point.”

Her eyes widened again. “So, that means what?”

He took a step forward and put his hand out, only to let it fall. “My wolf wants you, but the man can’t have you.” Won’t. “So, even though the mating urge will ride hard, know you’re safe from me. There will be nothing between us but friendship. If that’s what you want. Or, if you’d prefer nothing, then you can stay with one of my siblings. They will keep you safe while you heal and decide what your plan is.”

She studied his face, and he’d have given the world to have the power to hear her thoughts. His wolf raged inside, screaming at him to take the words back. His wolf didn’t understand. He never did. He didn’t know why the flipside of Ryder’s powers was so horrible. He only saw the woman in front of them, the one woman for them. The wolf only saw rejection from the human it was supposed to trust with everything it had, not the full extent of the agony Ryder felt.

And yet, Ryder felt what the wolf did, so all in all, his world was ending deep inside the cavernous depths of his soul. But he had to remain stoic.

He couldn’t tell her that he was saving her from a life of anguish and a grey existence. He couldn’t tell her because he’d never told a soul why he was the quiet one. He’d never told his family why he was the one to curl into himself when he should have been the one to stand proudly beside his Alpha.

“I can’t think about this, Ryder. It’s too much. I know you had to get it off your chest, but that’s all it can be right now.”

She raised her chin.

“You may not want to tell me why you feel that you can’t have a mate right now. Maybe someday you will. And maybe one day when I’m not grieving and freaking the f*ck out over my life, I’ll listen. But for now, I just want to go to bed. Can I do that? Can I just sleep? Maybe I’ll wake up and it’ll all be a dream.”

“We can do that,” he said after a tense moment. “I didn’t mean to make your burden worse than it already is.”

She shook her head and held up her hand. “I get it. If you hadn’t explained, I’d honestly just be thinking about what the magic within me wants. I’m going to stay here, though, rather than go somewhere else. I might not know what to do with the magic that flows through my veins every day, but I trust the way it helps me know what choices to make. So I want to stay here. I feel safe with you. Even if I don’t understand why.”

His wolf scraped the inside of his skin, this time leaving jagged marks along his body. He needed to shift. Now. Yet the fact that she trusted him calmed him enough to know he’d be able to make it to the edge of the woods rather than shift in front of her.