Mate Fur Hire (Bears Fur Hire #3)(5)

Undeterred, Vera clapped her hands together in her own high-five and went back to packing. “Do you snore?” she asked, twisting around with a frown.

“Uuuh, no?”

“Great. I’m a light sleeper, and I could deal with snoring, but I need to be mentally prepared not to whack you with a pillow.”

She’d lost him completely.

“I won’t need any money from you—”

“Wait, what? You’re supposed to pay me, lady. I delivered to you, remember?”

“Oh! Put that down,” she murmured, scrambling for a coffee can that sat on her kitchen counter. She pulled out a surprisingly thick wad of twenties and started counting them out, then apparently changed her mind, shoved the money back in, and handed him the entire can. “What’s mine is yours now.”

“No. No it’s not,” he gritted out, taking what he’d earned and shoving the can back toward her.

Vera had gone back to packing, though. “I won’t be fixing my hair for you every day, so you should accept that early. Like I said, I don’t need money from you, but I will need you to hunt at…where do you live again?”

“All over.” God this was getting weird. “Listen, Lincoln McCall said he talked to you—”

“McCall?” Vera’s giant wood-sprite eyes grew bigger somehow. “I didn’t know he was a McCall. Oooh, that’s bad.”

“Why is that bad?”

“I can’t help those McCalls. Too wild. Too crazy, and it doesn’t have as much to do with their animals as they think.”

“So, you can’t help him.”

Vera frowned and leaned back against a wobbly table. With a sigh, she crossed her arms over her chest. “What’s your favorite sexual position?”

Tobias just about choked on the air. “What?”

“I mean, I assume with bears it’s something animalistic. From behind while you’re growling or roaring or whatever. Do you like it from behind?”

“Y-yes.” Why was he talking? Engaging with this lunatic was a terrible idea.

“Okay. It’s not my favorite, but I’m flexible.”

“It’s not your favorite,” he repeated distractedly.

“No, but that’s fine. I have faults, too.”

“Fucking from behind is a fault?”

“I have needs, and I’ll expect babies at some point. Cubs? That’s what grizzly babies are called, right?”

“Right, I’m going to go. It was weird meeting you.” Tobias turned and opened the door, cursing Link for sending him on this dumb mission.

Harlan stood there looking pissed with his arms crossed over his chest. “She’s mine!”

Tobias slammed the door and ran his hands through his hair.

“Fuck off, Harlan. I have a mate now!” Vera yelled through the open window.

When something crashed against the house, Tobias ducked out of self-preservation. “Lady, I sincerely hope you aren’t talking about me.”

“I have a contract for you to sign. You can mark out the no doggy-style clause. And I put three kids—cubs—on there, but you can scratch it out and put whatever number you want to under eight.”

Something else crashed against the house so loud it made his ears ring. “I’m not your man, and we aren’t making eight cubs. Tell Harlan to back off so I can get out of here.”

Vera zipped the suitcase full of science shit and set the wheels on the floor. “Oh! I need clothes.” Suitcase abandoned by the door, Vera began to throw clothes from a dresser into an eye-scorching purple duffle bag. “Do you want to bite me now or later?”

“Bite you?” Another crash rattled the house, and Tobias scrubbed his hands over his face in sheer frustration. “Never is my answer. No biting.”

His bear snarled his disagreement, and Vera shot him a bright smile. “Your monster likes me. That’s good. I’m getting off this island, away from those murderous sons-of-bitches, and away from Harlan.”

“Harlan seems like a nice guy,” he argued.

“Are you serious? He smells like beef jerky, his teeth are the color of sunshine, and he can fart the alphabet. My kids would be weird. Look out that window, Tobias. Would you choose him as a mate?”

As soon as Tobias pushed the curtain aside, an empty bean can came flying past his head. “In all fairness, I’m biased because I’m not attracted to men.” But he could see where she was coming from. Harlan really did smell oddly like beef jerky. “Look, I’m a grizzly shifter and not meant to keep a woman. You seem nice, and you aren’t hideous. And your teeth are straight.”

“Aww! Thank you.”

“But I hibernate half the damned year, and I don’t want a mate. Not ever.”

“Oh, didn’t Link tell you? I’m hiring you as my mate.”

“Hiring me?”

“Yes, you don’t have to fall in love with me. I’d prefer you use me for my vixen body because that’s what I’m in this for, too. That and protection. I want a big shifter to bite me.”

“Vera,” he warned.

“And we won’t have to worry about you hibernating anymore.”

“Oh, yeah?” He was in crazytown, and Vera was the mayor. He should’ve known better than to come out here, and f*ck Link for giving him the weirdest experience of his life. “And why is that?”