Mask of Shadows (Untitled #1)(85)

She’d understand.

“Tell her what else you did.” I licked my lips, heart heavy but so ready to draw out my second confession, like pus from a wound. “To Nacea.”

Winter and Elise both looked at me, confusion clear on their faces. He shook his head.

I scraped the knife up his jaw, drawing blood. “Tell her about Nacea, Winter.”

He flinched at the name. Elise moved toward us.

“Nacea? The old coast territory?” She shook her head. “What does he have to do with it?”

“Everything.” I flicked my blade up and scratched a thin line along the edge of his face.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” said Winter.

“I found your name with Horatio del Seve’s, and I know your circle was in charge of directing troops.” I looked at Elise, fully seeing her for the first time, and wanted to rip off my damned mask so she could see the hurt and truth in my eyes. See my apology for what I wanted to do to her father. “Tell her, or she’ll hear it from me when you’re dead.”

“The shadows were drawing closer to Erlend—”

“The shadows you released among Alona’s civilians.” I swallowed, unable to stop my disgust from seeping into the words.

“And we chose to withdraw a few troops from Nacea so they could protect Erlend.” He leaned away from my knife. He was too calm, too steady with this happening, and he stared over my shoulder, never at me. “Nacea’s lack of an army unfortunately meant they were ill prepared, and many failed to evacuate in time.”

“Yes, we were very ill prepared for the shadows you didn’t warn us about.” I glanced at Elise, trying to say as much as I could with the motion since I still wore my mask. “I’m sorry.”

“You shouldn’t be,” she said. “He should. I might be too young to remember the politics, but I remember our agreements with Nacea.”

We both fell silent under the cutting, cold voice of Elise. She was utterly unrecognizable in her horror—eyes wide, lips twisted into a sneer, and body reeling back from her father like physical distance could erase the past between them.

“Darling.” Winter recovered before me, sweeping the sword he’d gutted Ruby with to one side. “You really can’t believe—”

“I can believe whatever I damn well please, and if it’s anyone’s fault for making your hand in a massacre seem plausible, it’s you.” She glanced between him and Isidora, gaze falling on Ruby’s crumpled body, before finally looking at me. “Nacea?”

“Nacea had no protection except Erlend soldiers.” I swallowed, the words heavy on my tongue. “And the Erlend lords decided that when the shadows got close, they’d buy time to fortify their lands by withdrawing their soldiers and letting the shadows tear through us like battle fodder. And the names in the letters planning the massacre were North Star, Deadfall, Riparian, Caldera, Coachwhip, and Winter.”

Elise sniffed. She shook her head and leaned back, failing to keep the tears at bay.

“I’m so sorry,” I said quickly. “I never wanted to take your father from you. I never would, but he took my whole family, my whole world. I’m sorry. I am. And this, I didn’t do this.”

I gestured weakly to Ruby’s blood splattered across the room, praying she’d understand.

“I have always done what is best for you and our family, and that woman is not it!” shouted Winter.

Elise shook her head, tears dripping down her face, and eased back toward the door. “The worst part of this is I’m not surprised at all. But thousands. Do you even know how many you killed?”

The tiny little piece of me that still woke up screaming at night and pushed Seve off the roof was shrieking in my mind, anger and need coursing through my veins like blood. I wanted him dead, and I wanted him to suffer.

Elise would hate me. I wasn’t fair at all.

“Winter.” I turned to him, pushing Elise from my mind, and felt the cool wind of autumn whipping through the window at my back. Eastern winds dragging the scent of the sea with them. They’d crossed Nacean lands. Nacean graves. “You want to tell me anything else?”

“No.” Elise shifted toward me, gaze stuck on the bloodstained knife in my hand. “You can’t kill him.”

I sniffed. This was the end then. A home for a home. Life without Elise wouldn’t be pleasant, but I’d live. I could live with her hating me.

Hopefully.

“I’m so sorry,” I said and lunged.

Winter jerked his sword toward me. I raised one arm to take the hit, rearing the other back to tear through his arm. Elise slid between us.

“Stop!” She grabbed my wrist and squared her shoulders, neck even with her father’s blade. She took a step back and forced us farther apart. “Just stop.”

The two of us froze, but Winter didn’t drop his arm. He didn’t even tremble as he held a sword to his daughter’s neck.

“Don’t kill him.” She rubbed her thumb along my wrist, the memory of her warmth and words on my skin rising to the surface. “Trust me.”

“Elise,” Winter started, but she cut him off.

“You don’t speak. I can’t even look at you.” She stepped from between us. “Don’t kill him. People need to know what he did.”