Mask of Shadows (Untitled #1)(20)

“Shae.” I pushed her away. “She was Shae Leon.”

The darkness surged over me, heavy and hot, reeking of flesh and blood and dirt, blowflies scurrying over my skin and maggots roiling under my feet. My heart pounded between us, the only reminder I was alive, and I turned away, desperate to leave, run, wake up, keep my skin away from this thing slipping under my clothes as if they weren’t there. Warmth sliced through my mask and brushed my cheek.

“Is this me?” it whispered.

I flung my arms out, second knife ripping through the darkness. My body fell forward, nothing to keep me up, no flesh to hold my blade, and I crashed into the wall. My ears rang, and my arms locked up, fingers clenched around the hilt. The darkness in the room receded.

No shadow.

Only real shadows flickering on the walls. I slid my hands along the floor, searching for Shae and found nothing. No blood, no skin.

The heaviness in my chest wouldn’t lift. The chill on my skin wouldn’t leave.

I was wet.

The bells chimed again. Drizzle drifted through the window shutters, striking the bells and setting them off. Water misted my arms. I smelled my shoulder.

Rainwater. Nothing but rain and nighttime.

It wasn’t real.

I unclenched my fingers and tossed the knife away, cold weight spreading to my arms. No more sister, no more shadows.

Only a trick of my mind in the dark.

I’d thought I was over these nightmares. I dragged myself back to the tub and tumbled inside. My shoulders rammed into the rim, knees uncomfortably folded against my chest, and I tightened my mask over the back of my neck.

“Only a trick,” I whispered to my hands. I rubbed my fingers over my shirt, erasing the clammy touch of Shae’s long-dead skin. I pressed the ring to my lips. Real—Our Queen was real and warm and alive. Shae was dead, and Our Queen had banished the shadows. I was alone.

I drifted in and out of sleep, shadows flickering in the corner of my sight all night, peering and writhing over the edge of the tub with browned, rotting eyes and gaping mouths. The rain stopped at dawn.

I’d gotten no rest and had no strength left. I wanted to sleep but needed to run and never stop, flee from the memories and shadows lingering in this room. The window beckoned.

I took off over the roof. The shutters were drawn and bare, rainwater dripping down the sills and echoing in my ears. I half-ran, half-slid down the rows of windows rising out of the roof. A pair of bleary eyes that looked like Eleven’s glanced back at me through the slats of one. I raced away from her.

On the other side of the building, the trio of invited had holed up together in a large room. Two, Three, and Four paced about, getting dressed and stretching. I scaled a defunct chimney nearby, slipping on the wet tiles, and dangled my legs over the chimney’s edge. The tiles laid out beneath me were all loose and slick. Even acrobats wouldn’t risk it.

I needed to feel them out. If they were to be a trio till they died, they were an issue. I couldn’t fight them all at once.

“If you’re only in this for the money, there’s a troupe missing tumblers you could join,” Four said before waving to me as he crawled out the window set into the sloping roof.

“That how you all know each other?” I yawned.

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” Two muttered. She stretched and tugged her arms behind her back.

“That’s why I’m asking.” I copied her. Cool, burning relief slid down my shoulders and spine, and I sighed. “An odd place to take friends, is all. Keep secrets all you like.”

“Says Sal, Sal, Sal who knows nothing about secrets.” Three—who must’ve overheard Ruby the first day of auditions—crossed her left arm across her chest and pulled it close. “Do this one.”

I did and my shoulder cracked, but, Lady, was it worth it. Wasn’t fair them being my age and having all this training. Circuses traveled all around picking up kids to train and offering up a bit of joy in the aftermath of the war, but they didn’t pay you till you were in the show and had earned your keep. I’d no time for that growing up.

“Should do your legs too.” Three grabbed her foot and pulled it over her head.

“I’m not doing that.”

Two leaned into Three, using her shoulder to balance, and whispered in her ear. I cocked my head to the side—couldn’t hear them.

“Any particular reason you’re here?” Four stuffed his hands in his pockets.

“Sunrise was nice.” I shifted backward, ready to jump and run, and covered the motion by waving to the fiery clouds spilling over the eastern spires. “Wanted to know where everyone sleeps.”

“Don’t worry,” said Two. “We’ll switch it up.”

“Keep you on your toes.” Four frowned.

I grinned. “Sounds fun.”

He ripped his hand from his pocket, and I tumbled backward, landing crouched on the roof behind the chimney. His thin throwing knife sliced through the air above me and clattered to the tiles. I darted away from them.

“Less fun,” I shouted over my shoulder.

Four’s booming laugh followed me across the roof. I glanced back, but they weren’t chasing. Four clapped Two on the back, and Three waved. I raced along the tiles and inhaled, head clearing with each breath.





Thirteen