Managed (VIP #2)(19)

Killian sneers and looks at Brenna as if he can’t believe her words.

Somehow I find my voice. “For what it’s worth, I didn’t know the interview was for you. I wouldn’t have come.”

“Oh, sure, that makes it all better. Because we haven’t spent more than a year struggling with the shit you put out in the public eye,” Killian snaps.

All at once, everyone starts talking, words bleeding together, bombarding me. I wince.

Jax whistles sharply. “Everyone shut the f*ck up and sit the f*ck down.”

I’m guessing he doesn’t often shout, because everyone stops and sits immediately, though Killian gives him a disgruntled glare as he drops down on his chair.

Jax looks at me. When I first met him, he had a boyish quality about him, like a sun-kissed, all-American jock, which was funny as it’s well-known that he’s half English. Nearly, two years later, all that boyishness is gone, replaced by a hard-baked, rugged handsomeness. Life has battered but not beaten him.

“You remember that night,” he says. “Before, I mean.”

I’m extremely aware of Gabriel’s gaze on me, but I answer Jax without looking away. “Yeah.”

Jax nods, biting his bottom lip as if he’s ashamed. “I figured. I’ve wanted to find you. To apologize.”

“What?” Killian bursts out, nearly jumping back up.

“Shut up,” Jax snaps at him, then sighs and runs a hand through his spiky hair. “At least until you hear me out.”

“Ah,” I clear my throat. “I have to agree with Killian’s sentiment here. You have absolutely no reason to apologize to me.”

Jax’s smile is weary and lopsided as he holds my gaze. I can see the struggle in his eyes. He doesn’t exactly want to say whatever he feels he has to.

Gabriel breaks the moment. “Get to the point, Jax.” His expression is so fierce, he appears carved from stone. “And start by explaining exactly how you know Ms. Darling.”

He doesn’t bother with me. It’s as if I’m no longer in the room.

Jax shrugs and leans against the wall. “We met in the hotel bar the night of ‘The Incident’.”

Gabriel glares at Jax’s air quotes. A muscle twitches beneath his right eye. “Go. On.”

“You offered to buy me a drink,” I fill in, because I’m damn tired of being ignored. And I’m not letting Jax do this on his own.

He smiles. “And you warned me that you were there to steal my face.”

The heat of Gabriel’s stare burns. But I don’t acknowledge him.

Whip shakes his head. “You two hooked up. Of course.”

Killian scoffs. I don’t dare check to see what Gabriel thinks.

“No,” Jax says. “We had vodka tonics with lime and a few laughs about ridiculous people who would pay thousands for a juicy shot of someone famous.” His soft smile returns. “Sophie didn’t mind that I basically said her job was stupid—”

“It is,” Killian cuts in.

We ignore him.

“She needed money to pay off school loans and rent, and we agreed there were worse ways to get it.”

“There are?” Killian asks, still disgruntled.

I don’t blame him. He’s the one who found Jax. The band broke up for a year after Jax’s suicide attempt. I doubt I would feel very charitable toward anyone who’d put my pain out in the world.

Jax levels him with a look, though. “Of course there are. And you know it.” His eyes find me again. “You remember what I told you then?”

Oh, hell. A lump fills my throat, and I swallow convulsively. Gabriel’s frowning as if he might soon explode. His gaze pins me to the spot, but he doesn’t speak. None of them do. They’re waiting for my answer.

My voice is weak and raspy. “You said… You said… Shit…” I look away, my voice breaking.

“Come to my room tonight,” Jax says for me, “and I’ll give you something big to sell.”

“Fucking hell,” Rye mutters.

“God damn it, Jax,” Killian snaps.

Because they understand. Finally. I do too. But I didn’t then.

My vision blurs, and I blink rapidly, taking a deep breath. “I thought you were just messing with me, and then you gave me a room key.” A watery laugh escapes me. “And then I thought you wanted to hook up.”

The scoff of disdain from Gabriel lands like a spear in my side. I can’t look at him now. Maybe not ever again.

“I know you did, honey,” Jax says gently. “And now you know; I was counting on you to show up.”

“Why?” I whisper. “Why me?”

He shrugs. “I figured, she’s a nice girl. Too nice for her shit job. She needs money. And I won’t be here so…why not go out with a good deed?”

Killian lurches to his feet, knocking over his chair. He stalks out of the room without another word. Libby soon follows with a muttered, “I’ll talk to him.”

The ensuing silence is heavy, and I want to hunch inward, run away. But I can’t hide from my mistakes. I tried that before. It didn’t work.

“I’m so sorry,” I rasp. “That night—it was the worst night of my life. Worst thing I’ve ever done.”