Man of the House: A Dark Bad Boy Romance(34)

I smiled at him and put my bottoms back on. He shook his head and managed to get his pants back on, sweating slightly and breathing deep.

“Shit,” he said. “I told myself I wasn’t going to do that.”

“Same.”

“Guess we both f*cked up, then.”

“Are you complaining?”

He walked over to me, cupped my cheek, and kissed me. “No,” he said after a moment.

I stared at him, surprised by the way he looked at me. I didn’t know if he was aware of it himself, but he looked at me like he never wanted to look away, and for a second it stole my breath.

I never imagined someone could look at me like that. The moment passed, though, as he went to the window to make sure nobody was around. We had to sneak out and make sure people didn’t catch us, but I still had that look burned into my mind.





20





Carter





My brain was on fire after being with Emily in the pool-house. That had been one of the stupidest, most forbidden things I’d ever done, made even more intense by the danger that surrounded it. I knew that was a huge mistake, but as soon as we were alone in that tiny space, everything dark and private around us, I knew what I was going to do. It didn’t help that she was wearing nothing but a bikini, her hair dripping wet.

I couldn’t resist that perfect body so close to mine, already dripping wet.

It was fast and it was intense. We both knew what we were doing, and we both knew it was f*cking stupid. But I wanted her, and I knew that I was going to take her again eventually. I just hoped I had the strength to hold off until this threat went away, but apparently I didn’t.

After the pool-house, I went right to the lab. I had to make it look like I came home for a reason, not just to check on Emily. I lost myself in work, though she was never far from my mind. As we went our separate ways, she promised that she’d stick to her apartment today and not put herself in unnecessary danger. I tried contacting Cox, but I couldn’t reach him. His second in command spoke with me briefly, but he didn’t know where Cox was, either.

That was strange, but not entirely without precedent. He probably was doing something very important, maybe out hiring more guys, something like that, so I didn’t think anything of it.

Work in the lab helped keep my mind off everything, at least for a while. Eventually though, the needs of my body reinstated themselves, and I was starving. I came up for air around nine at night, surprised that the day had passed that fast.

Time flies when you’re in the lab working and daydreaming about f*cking your stepdaughter, apparently.

I left and headed down toward my apartment. I called up to the house chef for some food before lazily opening my bedroom door. Evelyn was in her room, or at least I figured she was since her door was shut. So far, none of the threats had been directed at her at all, which was good. I wasn’t too worried about her, but I knew that just being close to me right now was very dangerous. If all this went south, she was going to get as much bad press as I was, possibly even more. The media could be merciless to women they deemed bad, which was an absurd double standard, but there it was. I saw plenty of women of my status get taken down for doing the same shit I did.

For a long time, I thought I could do anything. I didn’t care about the media coverage, even though it was pretty mild. I thought that just because I had money, a successful business, and that I was smart meant I was immune to everything. I was a selfish prick back then, not caring too much who I hurt or what I broke, so long as I was free to do whatever I wanted.

Things couldn’t continue like that. In retrospect, I saw all the cracks around the edges of my life, all the little things that suggested I needed to slow down. Of course, it wasn’t until the board really began to muscle me aside that I realized I was in deep shit. I’d given away too much power out of sheer disinterest and laziness, and now I was on the verge of losing everything. All the board needed was a single excuse, and apparently I was still stupid enough to give them that excuse.

Emily was going to be the end of everything. I knew it and she probably knew it, too. Maybe I really hadn’t changed so much from my past self. Maybe I was still that selfish *, taking whatever he wanted just because he wanted it.

I kept going back and forth, back and forth. On the one hand, being with Emily felt good, and she clearly wanted it as much as I did. I felt for her something I’d never really experienced before. But on the other hand, I was putting her directly into danger and threatening to destroy everything.

I couldn’t tell if I was being selfish and noble or if I was following my feelings. It was probably a little bit of both, if I was honest with myself.

Nothing is ever black and white. Good and bad are never simple, obvious things. People go through their lives convinced that they knew what’s right, what’s good, what’s decent, but most of the time reality exists in the spaces between our perceptions. Evil men, truly evil and bad men, are incredibly rare, as are truly good and saintly men. The vast, vast majority of people are both good and bad, well-meaning and stupid pricks. I was a well-meaning, selfish, stupid * that wanted to do right by the people I cared about while also doing whatever the f*ck I wanted. That was the contradiction I lived every day.

And that was how life worked or didn’t work. It wasn’t simple or clean or obvious, and my closely held beliefs were often flawed and inaccurate when held up to scrutiny. I tried always to scrutinize and consider the other side, but it’s hard for people to get past their prejudices.