Lucca (Made Men #4)(28)
He stood up abruptly, and the table went quiet.
“I’ll be right back.”
Amo headed out of the diner, needing fresh air on his face. As soon as it was, he felt like he could breathe again…
He opened his arms wide, watching Chloe run toward him. He was so close … so close to saving her. It wasn’t until her body collided with his that he realized he had been holding his breath.
Wrapping his arms around her was the first time he was blessed with being able to touch the girl who had stolen his heart. The storm had passed, and in its place was true beauty, the kind you never thought to exist.
He held on to her, planning to never let go.
“I’ve got you.”
This was the sign he had needed to tell her his feelings. She had chosen him…
The door opening beside him had him turning to see Elle coming outside.
“The food should be done any minute.”
“You go on in; I’ll be there in a minute,” he told her.
She didn’t make a move to go inside. Instead, she looked down at her feet. “I’m sorry she won’t talk to you.”
“It’s not your fault, Elle. It’s mine.” There was a minute of silence between the two before he spoke again, “Is she really doing okay?” It was killing him not knowing if she really was or not.
Her voice became pained. “I think so. I text her every day, but I can’t get her to talk on the phone with me yet.”
“You haven’t talked to her on the phone at all?”
Elle shook her head.
A small alarm went off in his head.
“Get her to talk to you on the phone. Make sure she’s okay.”
“Okay,” she whispered.
“Go on in; it’s cold out here. I’ll be right in.”
Going for the door, Elle then stopped with tears brimming her eyes. “I thought you were going to get her to stay. I thought you were actually going to do it when I failed. Turns out, neither of us were capable of saving her.”
He had to turn away, his own vision becoming blurry …
“Wait,” he stopped her from leaving his car so suddenly. “Stay and go to college here … with Elle and Lake. I can take some classes. Who is going to walk you to class when Elle or I aren’t there?”
Chloe wasn’t even able to look at him. “I’ll have to get used to being on my own.”
He tried again, “But if you stayed here, you won’t have to.”
“Elle won’t have to watch out for me anymore. She can finally enjoy school without me getting in her way. I want that for her.”
With each word she spoke, he was slowly starting to realize that whatever had happened back there, when she had run into his arms, it wasn’t turning out like he had thought.
“What about you? What about me?”
Still, she couldn’t bring herself to look at him. “I’ll adjust. It will be good for me. You have Nero and Vincent and your job at the casino to keep you so busy you won’t even remember me.”
“I’ll remember you …” He was barely able to speak.
The change in her started then. “That you walked me to class for a few months? That my best friend is your friend’s girlfriend?”
Slamming his hand on the steering wheel, it all started coming out. “You’re not like any other girl I know, Chloe.” He took a breath to calm himself before whispering why she needed … why she had to stay here with him, “I love you.”
Chloe jumped out of the car, running toward her front door.
“Fucking wait!” Amo ran after her. She had to listen. She had to stay!
“We’re friends, Amo. If I stay … I can’t. I will never be what you want. You need a girl like Elle or Lake. Even a girl like Cassandra would be better than me. You love being with your friends, and I like being alone. That’s why I’m leaving.”
It was an obvious lie. He knew it the moment it slipped from her lips. She was leaving because she was afraid. Afraid of this city. Afraid of whatever had happened to her four years ago. Afraid of him. Afraid that, for the first time in her life, she could be loved.
His voice went soft. “No one likes to be alone.”
“I’m not normal; I’m a freak.”
He could see it then. He had done the thing he had been afraid to do. He had scared her off.
“You said so yourself.”
Amo’s heart sunk to his stomach, thinking back to freshman year when she had come into the cafeteria with her fresh scars.
“Fucking freak!” he had yelled, making the lunchroom burst into laughter with the echoes of the word “freak.”
Now it was him who couldn’t look at her, too ashamed of the actions of his younger self. He hadn’t even realized she remembered it, or that it had been him who had yelled it out. She had trusted him; forgiven him for the sick comment when he had yet to forgive himself.
“Why didn’t you say anything?”
“What was I supposed to say?” Chloe began opening the door, ready to close him out. “Bye, Amo.”
He felt her slipping away.
With tears welling, he told her, “I didn’t mean it.”
“It’s okay, Amo. We’re even. I called you a beast.” Her voice came out calm as she went inside, even though he could see the tears beginning to touch her own eyes.