Lowlander Silverback (Gray Back Bears #5)(31)

Kong’s fingertips were light as a feather against her lower back as he guided her up the porch stairs of 1010. He’d gone quiet lately. Dimmer. Like a lantern that was almost out of oil and struggling to stay lit. Mac’s death and the battle that followed weighed heavily on him.

“It’s not your fault, you know?” she murmured as she stepped into the bedroom and slipped out of her heels.

“Mmm,” Kong said noncommittally.

She unbuttoned his shirt slowly. “It’s not.”

Kong went still under her touch, his eyes somber as he stared at her. “I wanted things to be different.” His nose and lip twitched, a sign of the animal that lived beneath his skin. He did that when he was thinking hard about something. “I wish we could’ve dated, like other people. Movies, dinner, picnics…normal shit. Not all this heaviness. I didn’t want it to be a loss that bonded us, Layla.”

She smiled and pushed his shirt off his shoulders. “It wasn’t. I wanted you long before any of this stuff happened.

She untucked the hem of his white undershirt and lifted it over his head. He grunted as he lifted his arms. Healed he might be, but there were still aching nerves nestled in the deepest wounds. She traced a long pair of scars across his ribs with a light touch.

“Beautiful mate,” she whispered. “I don’t know how I would’ve gotten through this week without you.”

Kong gripped her wrist as she got too close to a wide cavern of uneven red scar tissue under his arm. “You wouldn’t have had to go through this week if it weren’t for me.”

“Mac had cancer, Kong.”

His grip loosened as he searched her eyes.

“It’s why he was in hospice. It had spread, and the doctors couldn’t do anything. If it weren’t for you and the Gray Backs, I would’ve planned his funeral alone and stood for him at that gravesite alone a couple of months from now. I would’ve mourned alone. I hate Rhett for what he did, and Kong, there are times where I wish I could’ve watched you rip him apart.” Her words shook like a lit candle wick in a strong wind. “But, mate,” she whispered, cupping his cheek. “It was Mac’s time, no matter what you or I wished. It was Fiona and Rhett’s awful decision that had nothing—nothing—to do with you. I don’t blame you, and it hurts me to see you blaming yourself.”

Kong’s chest rose with his deep inhalation, and he leaned his cheek into her palm, making a raspy sound with his two-day scruff. She leaned up on tiptoes and kissed his lips. Then she turned and pulled her hair aside, watching him in the dresser mirror.

A slow smile spread across his lips as he unzipped her dress slowly.

“I have a boner to pick with you, mister.”

Kong chuckled deeply, and she closed her eyes to revel in the sound of it. Damn, she’d missed that over the past few days. Now, it was medicine for her soul.

“I think the saying goes ‘I have a bone to pick with you.’”

“No, boner, because you have shown no interest in sleeping with me.”

“The couch is comfortable, and I wanted to give you space.” Kong unsnapped her bra, then reached his hands through her open dress and slid his touch around her ribs until he cupped her breasts.

“That’s not what I’m talking about,” she said on a breath.

“Oh, I know what you’re talking about, woman.” His words were a rattling growl that lifted gooseflesh across her forearms.

“Then why haven’t you made love to me?”

Kong pressed his lips against the back of her neck and sucked gently. Curling back against him, she sighed. He worked his way down the side of her throat and grazed his teeth right over the mark he’d given her before everything went wrong.

“Because you’re in heat,” he whispered against her skin. “I can smell it. Practically taste it on the air.” He rocked his hips against her back, pressing his hard, thick erection against her. “You think I haven’t wanted to cover you? Wrong. It’s hard to think about anything else, but it didn’t seem like the right time to talk about family planning.” He gripped her long hair at the base of her neck and lifted, exposing the other side to his biting, sucking affection.

“You’re ready for a baby?” she asked. “With me?”

Kong spun her and settled her hips onto the dresser, then pulled the front of her dress off her arms and let it pile in her lap. He locked his arms on either side of her hips and took a sip of her lips. His eyes weren’t soft and brown anymore. They were the wild green color. “I am. I told you I want a family. It happens when silverbacks mature. I’ve set up a life here, a business, so I could afford to take care of a family. My instincts scream every time I smell those sexy pheromones you’re putting out. Cover her. Put a baby in her. Make a family with her. It gets overwhelming, but the timing isn’t right, and you don’t have the same instincts to breed as I do. I want to get you pregnant, yes. But I also want you happy, and I want our love story to be that slow burn like Mac’s was with his Gloria. I never want you resenting me for pushing you into something this big so fast. So I’ll wait. We’ll be careful and use protection until you’re ready.”

She cupped his neck and grinned. “You want to know something?”

“Hmm?” he asked, leaning down and drawing one of her nipples into his mouth.