Lowlander Silverback (Gray Back Bears #5)(10)

“Quit sniffing yourself. I didn’t say it was a bad thing. Just that we shouldn’t be here, in this position.”

“And what position is that? We’re talking in a car, not banging on the hood.” Though, now that she thought of it, that sounded kind of awesome.

“Stop talking,” he muttered, turning the volume up on a country song. He gripped the wheel again and let off a slow breath.

“You’re rude.” Layla kicked open the door and marched off in the direction of the road. She wasn’t just some shifter groupie he could treat like she was beneath him. He’d ignored her in the bar for years, and now he thought he could tell her to stop talking? No. She liked him, a lot, but she liked herself better.

“What are you doing?” Kong asked from right beside her.

“Hoooly shhhh—” she said, jumping and clutching her chest. It was dark out here, the moon only half full, and with her unimpressive night vision, she hadn’t even seen him coming up on her right. “I’m going home.”

“You’re mad.”

Layla rounded on him. “Damn straight I’m mad. I’ve tried to talk to you for years, and you’ve shut me down, and rudely at that. I don’t know what your problem is, but you can’t tell me to stop talking and just expect me to obey you, just like you can’t tell me not to approach you and just expect me to heed your demands.”

“I’m only going to get worse with age.”

Layla waited for him to explain, but when he didn’t, she shrugged her shoulders and started walking again. “I’m out.” She skidded to a stop and rounded on him again. “No, you know what? I thought about that stupid hug in Jake’s office all night. I don’t even know why. Fifty times at least, I’ve imagined you holding me, and then it happened, but you followed it directly with ‘never talk to me again.’” Stupid tears burned her eyes, and she blinked hard to keep them where they belonged. “And it didn’t even feel that good. You were too rough.”

His eyes had dimmed to muddy green, and he arched an eyebrow. “You don’t like rough.”

“No. I like gentle. I’m not fragile, but I have to deal with a lot of shit in my life, and I want a man to be easy with me.”

“Easy isn’t in my nature and, again, I’m only going to get worse with age.”

Layla stomped her boot. “What does that mean?”

“I’m a gorilla, Layla.” He canted his head and searched her face. Moments of silence dragged on between them before he whispered. “I’m a gorilla shifter. And I’m not some blackback young buck either, woman. I’m a fully mature silverback. I’m physically and emotionally ready for a family group of my own with females who don’t mind rough. I fight because I have to, because my animal requires it, so I can stay steady and in control, and so I keep fit enough to protect a group of females from other males or, God forbid, from humans who find out about us and want to hurt us.”

“Females, plural?”

He dipped his chin once, his now dark eyes churning with sadness.

“King Kong,” she murmured, feeling stupid for not catching it before now.

He nodded again.

“So there was never a chance for us to…”

He shook his head slow, lips pursed into a thin line.

“You can’t be with humans anyway, can you?”

Kong scratched the back of his short, dark hair in agitation and stared off into the woods. “It’s not like I chose this, Layla. I wish I was born a bear shifter where I would have more freedom to be with you, but who I breed with isn’t my choice.”

“Breed with?”

He nodded again, looking ill in the blue moonlight. “I’m ready for kids, but it’s more than that. There is a leader of my people, a woman. She got to where she is because she’s the cruelest of all of us. She’s killed anyone who has opposed her. That woman is in charge of genetics and forming family groups. There aren’t many of us, so if we’re chosen for a duty, we have to do what she says. And when I was born, I bore the mark of the Kong. This stupid birthmark on my back that she determined means I’m the Kong. The Lowlander Silverback.”

“Do you want to…breed…lots of women?”

“No!” Kong gripped the back of his head. “God, no, but that’s the way it is for us. Shit.” He slammed his shoulder blades back against the trunk of an ancient pine tree. His voice echoed with hollowness when he said, “I won’t even be involved in my kids’ lives like I want to. I’m there for two things. Fucking and protection. When Fiona calls me up, my life in Saratoga is over.”

“But what about your sawmill? What about your friends here?”

“I’ll have to sell and say goodbye.”

“This isn’t fair. It’s not.” Layla shook her head over and over in disbelief. Kong wasn’t just unavailable. He was on-another-planet unavailable. But it wasn’t just herself she was devastated for. Kong’s life echoed with emptiness. How sad that he wouldn’t fall in love or raise his kids. How sad that he would have to give up the life he’d built here for some archaic tradition.

How utterly sad that he didn’t have any choice in his life.

Heartbroken, Layla murmured, “I think you should take me home.” Because getting to know Kong better out in these dark, secret woods was only going to make it harder to say goodbye when he was called up to leave Saratoga.