Lover Revealed (Black Dagger Brotherhood #4)(128)

“I’ll be here.” He caught her as she turned away and spun her back into his arms. “Be careful out there.”

“I will.”

He kissed her deep, wrapping his arms around her slender body. Man, he couldn’t wait until she came back. And missed her the moment she left.

“I am a total sap,” he said as the door closed.

“Told you.” V got up off the bench press and picked up a pair of stacked one-hander weights. “Bonded males are a thing.”

Butch shook his head and tried to refocus on what else he wanted to accomplish in the gym tonight. For the past seven days, while Marissa went off to her new job, he stayed at the compound and worked on how to handle this new body of his. The learning curve was steep. In the beginning, he’d had to figure out the most simple functions, like how to eat and how to write. Now, he was trying to get a sense of his physical limits to see when…if…he would break. The good news was, so far, everything worked. Well, almost everything. One of his hands was a little messed up, though not in any serious way.

And the fangs were fabulous.

As were the strength and endurance he now had. No matter how far or how hard he pushed himself in the gym, his body took the punishment and responded with growth. At meals, he ate like Rhage and Z, sucking back some five thousand calories every twenty-four hours…and even still, he was always hungry. Which made sense. He was packing on muscle like he was shooting ’roids.

Two open questions remained. Could he dematerialize? And could he handle sunlight? V had suggested holding off on both of those for a month or so, and that was fine. There was enough to worry about in the meantime.

“You’re not quitting, right?” V asked as he looked up from the bicep curls he was doing. The weight in each of his hands was probably two seventy-five.

Butch could pull them that heavy now, too.

“Nah, I still got juice.” He went over to an elliptical machine and got on to stretch his legs out.

Man, on the topic of juice…he was totally and completely sexed out. All the time. Marissa had moved into his bedroom at the Pit and he couldn’t keep his hands off her. He felt so bad about it, and he tried to hide the need, but invariably she knew when he wanted her and she never turned him away, even if it was only to finish him.

She really seemed to relish the sexual control she had over him. And so did he.

God, he was hardening again now. All he had to do was think of her and he was ready even if he’d already gone four, five times that day. And the thing was, what made his sex drive such a pleasure was that it wasn’t just about needing a release. It was all about her. He wanted to be with her, inside of her, all around her: not sex for sex’s sake, but…well…making love. To her.

Man, he was a total frickin’ sap.

But, hell, why should he front? This had been the best week of his whole miserable life. He and Marissa were so good together—and not just in the sack. Aside from training himself in the gym, he’d spent a lot of time helping her with the social services project, and the common purpose had brought them even closer together.

The Safe Place, as she’d named the house, was ready to start running now. V had wired the Colonial up but good, and though there was still a lot to do, at least they could begin accepting folks in earnest. Right now there was just the mother and the child with the leg in a cast, but it sounded like there would be a lot more.

Man, throughout everything, all the changes, all the new things, all the challenges, Marissa was amazing. Smart. Capable. Compassionate. He’d decided his vampire nature, that previously buried part of him, had chosen his female very wisely.

Although he still had some guilt over mating her. He kept thinking about everything she’d walked away from—her brother, her old life, all that fancy glymera shit. He’d always felt like an orphan after leaving both his family and where he’d grown up behind, and he didn’t want that for her. But he wasn’t going to let her go.

Hopefully, they could finish the mating ceremony soon. V had said it wouldn’t be a good idea cutting into him during the first week, which was fine, but they were going to do the carving ASAP. And then he and Marissa were going to walk down the aisle, too.

Funny, he’d started going to weekly midnight Mass all regularlike. Wearing his Sox cap, and keeping his head down, he sat in the back of Our Lady and stayed to himself as he reconnected with God and the Church. The services eased him immeasurably, in a way nothing else could.

Because the darkness was in him still. He was not alone in his skin.

Inside of him there was a shadow, something that lurked between the spaces of his ribs and the disks of his spine. He sensed it there always, shifting around, pacing, watching. Sometimes it actually looked out of his eyes, and that was when he feared himself the most.

But going to church helped. He liked to think the goodness in the air there seeped into him. Liked to believe that God listened to him. Needed to know that there was a strength outside of himself that would help him stay connected to his humanity and his soul. Because without that he would be dead though his heart still beat.

“Hey, cop?”

Without losing a stride on the elliptical, Butch looked over to the weight room’s door. Phury was standing in it, that amazing hair of his shining red, yellow, and brown under the fluorescent lights.

“What up, Phury?”

The brother came in, his limp hardly noticeable. “Wrath wants you to come to our meeting tonight before we go out.”