Lover Mine (Black Dagger Brotherhood #8)(155)

hand with a frown.

"John . . ." When no coherent words came, she shook her head and went back to the pacing. She hated this. She truly hated this.

As the door swung wide, Doc Jane came back in with Ehlena. The

two were in the middle of a conversation about the procedure and John whistled at them. When he held up his forefinger to indicate he needed a minute, the females nodded and ducked out again.

"Shit," Xhex said, "don't stop them. I'll be all right."

As she headed for the door to call the doctor back in, a thunderous

sound reverberated through the room. Thinking John had fallen off the gurney, she wheeled around--

No, he'd punched the stainless-steel table and left a dent in it.

Talk to me, he signed. And they're not coming in until you do.

She had the urge to argue and the vocabulary to do it--just not the

voice, evidently. Try as she did, she couldn't manage to say a thing.

Which was when he opened his arms to her.

Cursing herself, she said, "I'm going to man up here. I'm going to so be twenty-one. You're not going to believe how tight in the head I'm going to be. Really. For real."

Come here, he mouthed.

"Oh . . . hell." Giving up, she went over and embraced him.

Into his neck, she said, "I don't do this medical thing well. In case you haven't noticed before. I'm sorry, John . . . damn it, I'm always letting you down, aren't I."

He caught her before she could pull away. Holding her in place with

his eyes, he signed, You saved my life tonight. I wouldn't be alive right now unless you'd thrown that blade. So you aren't always letting me down--and as for this? I'm not worried and you don't have to watch--go and wait up at the house. It's going to be over quickly. Don't torture yourself.

"I'm not running scared." Moving quickly so she couldn't think too much and neither could he, she took his face in her hands and kissed him hard. "But maybe waiting outside is a good idea."

After all, she couldn't very well have Doc Jane stop in the middle to treat some pansy bystander with a case of the vapors. Or a concussion because the idiot had passed out cold on the floor.

Probably for the best, John mouthed.

Breaking away, she put one foot after the other to the door and let in 396

J. R.Ward

Ehlena and Doc Jane. As the physician passed, Xhex grabbed the female's arm.

"Please . . ." God, what could she say.

Doc Jane nodded. "I got him. Don't worry."

Xhex took a shuddering breath and wondered how in the hell she was

going to get through the wait out in the hall. Knowing the way her mind worked, she'd have John screaming silently in pain and Doc Jane removing his whole leg as the minutes dragged by--

"Xhex . . . mind if I suggest something?" Doc Jane said.

"Hit me. In fact . . . hit me. A good uppercut might help me pull it together."

Doc Jane shook her head. "Why don't you watch."

"What?"

"Stay here and watch what I do and how I do it and learn the whys.

There are a lot of people who are terrified of medical situations--with very good reason. But phobias are phobias, whether it's an airplane or a dentist or a doctor--and exposure therapy works. Take the mystery out of it and the sense of not being in control? The fear can't get at you in the same way."

"Nice piece of logic. But what happens if I faint."

"You can sit down if you get dizzy and leave whenever you like. Ask questions and look over my shoulder if you're able."

When she glanced at John, his solemn nod sealed her fate. She was

staying.

"Do I need scrubs?" she said in a voice that was utterly foreign.

Shit, it was so damn girly. Next thing you knew, she was going to

start crying at TV ads and doing her nails. And getting a frickin' pocketbook.

"Yup, I'm going to want you in greens. Follow me."

When they came back five minutes later, Doc Jane took her over to

the sink, handed her a sealed pack with a Betadine sponge inside, and showed her how to get properly cleaned.

"Good job." The doctor turned off the water by releasing a foot pedal down on the floor. "You won't need gloves because you're not going in."

"You got that right. Tell me, you have a crash cart around, just in case I go over?"

"Right in the corner and I know how to use those paddles." Doc Jane snapped on blue gloves and went over to John. "You ready? And we'll be putting you under. Given where the bullet is, I'm going to have to go deep and there's no way in hell I'll be able to get you numb enough."

Gas me, Doc, John signed.

V's shellan put her hand on his shoulder and stared right into his eyes.

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"I'm going to fix you, don't worry."

Xhex frowned and found herself in awe of the female. To be that sure

and certain, given what was at stake, was pretty amazing: If Doc Jane didn't do her job right, John could be way worse off than he was now. But if she pulled it off, he would be good as new.

This was power, Xhex thought. And the polar opposite of what she

did in her profession--a knife in her hand was a very different instrument.