Lover Awakened (Black Dagger Brotherhood #3)(56)

“Did you love the male?”

“I thought so. But…no.” She thought of the skull next to Zsadist’s pallet. “Have you ever been in love?”

The corner of his mouth lifted into a snarl. “What the f*ck do you think?”

As she recoiled, he closed his eyes. “Sorry. I mean, no. That would be no.”

So why did he keep that skull? Whose was it? She was about to ask when he cut the question off. “Your brother thinks he’s going after that lesser?”

“Undoubtedly. Rehvenge is…Well, he’s been head of my household since my father died when I was very young, and Rehv is very aggressive. Extremely so.”

“Well, you tell him to sit tight. I’m going to ahvenge you.”

Her eyes shot to Zsadist’s. “No.”

“Yes.”

“But I don’t want you to.” She couldn’t live with herself if he got killed in the process.

“And I can’t stop myself.” He squeezed his eyes shut. “Christ…I can’t breathe for knowing that bastard is out there. He has to die.”

Fear and gratitude and something altogether warm squeezed her chest. On impulse, she leaned in and kissed him on the lips.

He jerked back with a hiss, eyes wider than if she’d slapped him.

Oh, hell. Why had she done that? “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I—”

“No, it’s cool. We’re cool.” He rolled onto his back and lifted his hand to his mouth. His fingers rubbed back and forth across his lips, like he was wiping her off him.

When she sighed good and hard, he said, “What’s the matter?”

“Am I so distasteful?”

He dropped his arm. “No.”

What a lie. “Maybe I’ll get you a washcloth, how about that?”

When she would have shot out of bed, his hand clamped on her arm. “That was my first kiss, okay? I just didn’t expect it.”

Bella stopped breathing. How was that possible?

“Oh, for chrissakes, don’t look at me like that.” He let go and went back to staring at the ceiling.

His first kiss…“Zsadist?”

“What.”

“Will you let me do that again?”

There was a long, long pause. She inched over to him, pushing her body through the sheets and blankets.

“I won’t touch you anywhere else. Just my lips. On yours.”

Turn your head, she willed him. Turn your head and look at me.

And then he did.

She didn’t wait for an engraved invitation or for him to change his mind. She pressed her lips to his lightly, then hovered over his mouth. When he stayed where he was, she dipped down again and this time stroked at him. His breath sucked in.

“Zsadist?”

“Yes,” he whispered.

“Relax your mouth for me.”

Careful not to crowd him, she propped herself up on her forearms and got in close again. His lips were shockingly soft except for where the upper one was scarred. To make sure he knew the imperfection didn’t matter to her, she deliberately attended to that place, returning there again and again.

And then it happened: He kissed her back. It was just the slightest movement of his mouth, but she felt it all the way to her core. When he did it again, she praised him by moaning a little and letting him take the lead.

God, he was so tentative, feeling his way across her mouth with the most gentle of brushings. He kissed her sweetly and with care, tasting like apples and male spice. And the contact between them, though light and slow, was enough to have her aching.

When she sneaked her tongue out and licked him, he pulled away sharply. “I don’t know what I’m doing here.”

“Yes, you do.” She leaned in to keep the connection. “You really do.”

“But—”

She quieted him with her mouth, and it wasn’t long before he was back in the game. This time when her tongue stroked over him he opened his lips, and his own met hers, slick and warm. A slow twirl started…and then he was in her mouth, pushing against her, seeking.

She felt the sex stir in him, the heat and urgency in his big body growing. She was hungry for him to reach out and drag her against him. When he didn’t, she eased back and looked at him. His cheeks were flaming, his eyes glittering. He was hungry for her, but he made no move to get closer. And he wouldn’t, either.

“I want to touch you,” she said.

But as she brought her hand up, he stiffened and gripped her wrist hard. Fear hovered just below the surface of him; she could sense it weaving through his body, making him tense. She waited for him to make up his mind, not about to push him on this.

His hold slowly loosened. “Just…go slow.”

“I promise.”

She started with his arm, running her fingertips up and down his smooth, hairless skin. His eyes tracked the movement with a suspicion she took no offense at, and his muscles twitched, flickering as she passed. She stroked him slowly, letting him get used to her touch, and when she was sure he was comfortable, she leaned down and put her lips on his biceps. His shoulder. His collarbone. The top of his pectoral.

She was heading for his pierced nipple.

When she was close to the silver ring with the little ball, she glanced up at him. His eyes were wide, so wide the whites showed all around his black irises.