Lover Awakened (Black Dagger Brotherhood #3)(138)

He glanced back down at the pencil in his hand and then turned to the table. Flipping the spiral notebook to a new page, he bent way over and labored on top of the paper for quite a while. Then he ripped the sheet free.

His hand was shaking as he held it out. “It’s messy.”

Bella took the paper. In a child’s uneven block letters there were three words:



I LOVE YOU





Her lips flattened tight as her eyes stung. The handwriting got wavy and then disappeared.

“Maybe you can’t read it,” he said in a small voice. “I can do it over.”

She shook her head. “I can read it just fine. It’s…beautiful.”

“I don’t expect anything back. I mean…I know that you don’t…feel that for me anymore. But I wanted you to know. It’s important that you knew. And if there’s any chance we could be together…I can’t stop my job with the Brotherhood. But I can promise that I’ll be so much more careful with myself—” He frowned and stopped talking. “Shit. What am I saying? I promised myself I wouldn’t put you in this position—”

She crushed the paper to her heart, then launched herself at him, hitting his chest so hard he stumbled back. As his arms came around her with hesitation, as if he didn’t have any idea what she was doing or why, she wept openly.

In all her preparations for this meeting, the one thing she had never considered was that the two of them might have some sort of future.

When he tilted up her chin and looked down at her she tried to smile, but the crazy hope she felt was too heavy and joyous a burden.

“I didn’t mean to make you cry—”

“Oh, God…Zsadist, I love you.”

His eyes flared so wide, his brows nearly hit his hairline. “What…?”

“I love you.”

“Say that again.”

“I love you.”

“Again…please,” he whispered. “I need to hear it…again.”

“I love you….”

His response was to start praying to the Scribe Virgin in the Old Language.

Holding Bella tight, burying his face in her hair, he gave thanks with such eloquence she started to weep all over again.

When the last laudation had been murmured he switched back into English. “I was dead until you found me, though I breathed. I was sightless, though I could see. And then you came…and I was awakened.”

She touched his face. In slow motion he closed the distance between their mouths, pressing the softest of kisses on her lips.

How sweetly he came to her, she thought. Even with his bulk and his power, he came to her…sweetly.

Then he pulled back. “But wait, why are you here? I mean, I’m glad you—”

“I’m having your young.”

He frowned. Opened his mouth. Shut it and shook his head. “I’m sorry…what did you say?”

“I carry your young.” This time there was no response from him at all. “You’re going to be a father.” Still nothing. “I’m pregnant.”

Okay, she was running out of ways to tell him. God—what if he didn’t want this?

Zsadist started to sway in his shitkickers and the blood ran out of his face. “You carry my young within you?”

“Yes. I’m—”

Suddenly he gripped her arms hard. “Are you all right? Did Havers say you’re all right?”

“So far. I’m a little young, but maybe that’ll work to my advantage when the time to deliver comes. Havers said the baby is well and I’m under no restrictions…well, except I’m not allowed to dematerialize after my sixth month. And, ah…” Blushing…she was seriously blushing now. “I won’t be able to have sex or be fed from after the fourteenth one until the birth. Which should be around month eighteen.”

When the doctor had given her those warnings, she’d thought she’d never have to worry about either of those things. But maybe now…

Zsadist was nodding, but he really didn’t look well. “I can take care of you.”

“I know you will. And you’re going to keep me safe.” She said this because she knew he would worry about that.

“You will stay here with me?”

She smiled. “I would love to.”

“Will you mate me?”

“Are you asking?”

“Yes.”

Except he still looked green. He was literally the color of mint ice cream. And these rote words of his were beginning to freak her out. “Zsadist…are you okay about this? Um…you don’t have to mate me, if you don’t—”

“Where is your brother?”

The question startled her. “Rehvenge? Ah…home, I guess.”

“We go to him. Now.” Zsadist took her hand and dragged her out into the foyer.

“Zsadist—”

“We will get his consent and we will be mated this night. And we will go in V’s car. I don’t want you dematerializing again.”

Zsadist was pulling her to the door so fast, she was having to run. “Wait, Havers said I could until month—”

“I don’t want to take any chances.”