Loved (House of Night Other World #1)(60)

“Nope.”

“Okay, good. Give me the remote and I’ll find the latest season for you. Wait till you see Tim Gunn. He’s fantastic. I actually met him recently at a House of Night party in New York, and he’s as fantastic in real life as he seems on the show.” Damien leaned forward, his arm extended and hand held out for the remote.

Without any hesitation, Jack gave him the remote.

Their fingers touched. Their eyes met.

Slowly, ever so slowly, Damien splayed his fingers so that even though the remote was between them, he could still feel the warmth of Jack’s skin.

When Jack’s eyes began to turn rust colored, Damien released him and leaned back in the chair as if nothing had happened.

“Okay, let’s see. Oh, here’s the button.” He was punching in P-R-O-J-E-C-T when Jack’s words tore at his heart.

“I missed you so much. You left me. All alone. In that terrible, terrible world. You left me.”

Damien put the remote in his lap and turned his chair to face Other Jack.

“In this world, it was you who left me.”

“Not on purpose, right? Zoey said my death was made to look like an accident, even though she thinks it had something to do with Neferet. But whether it did or not, I for sure didn’t go on purpose. You did. You killed yourself.”

Damien drew a deep breath and let it out slowly before he could speak. “How? How did I kill myself?”

“You ran a bath and slit your wrists. I found you like that. Dead. Cold. Bloody. It was the worst thing that has ever happened to me. Not even this,” he gestured violently to the outline of the red crescent on his forehead, “is worse.”

“I’m sorry, Jack. I’m so sorry.” Then, slowly, Damien began to tell Other Jack what he had never told anyone ever before. “But I understand your Damien. I’ve felt that same depression—that same hopelessness.”

“In this world, too?”

Damien nodded.

“But only after I died, right?”

Damien sighed heavily. “No. Before. A long time before. I’ve felt sad and broken for as long as I can remember. It’s why I’ve always been into books and studying. It helps me escape. And my depression got better when I was Marked and came here. I was accepted here. I wasn’t bullied anymore, or not much anyway. Well, not at all after Erik Night made me his roommate, but that’s another story. Then you were Marked, and we fell in love. And I thought the terrible sadness had gone away, but it hadn’t. It was like it was sleeping and waiting.”

“For what?”

“For a quiet time. A normal time. A time when I wasn’t newly in love, or busy helping Z save the world. Basically, it was waiting for life to go on. And then it woke up, and I’ve been trying to put it back to sleep ever since. It’s just today, just a few minutes ago, that I realized there is no putting it to sleep. I have to fix it, heal it—heal myself.”

“How?”

“I’m not really sure, but I do know coming down here and being with you is a step toward healing. I also know I have to talk about my feelings. Have to admit I need help.” Damien held out his hand. Hesitatingly, Other Jack took it. “I love you, Jack Twist. In any world. In any form. I love you, and if it is within my power, I will never, ever leave you. I want you to know that.”

“I love you, too, Damien. All I want is you. You’re all I’ve wanted since the day I met you.”

Damien couldn’t help himself. He didn’t want to help himself. He wanted Jack. He pulled on Jack’s hand, bringing him closer. Carefully, moving deliberately so that Jack was aware of what was coming, Damien drew him closer and closer—until their lips were only a breath apart.

“Please kiss me,” Damien murmured.

Jack did. It was a sweet, innocent kiss. Their lips barely rested on one another’s.

Damien blocked out Jack’s smell and focused on the way his lips felt. They were the same—still soft and full. He still had no stubble, only a sweet smattering of peach fuzz that tickled with beloved familiarity. Damien reached up and let his hand caress Jack’s hair. And it was Jack’s hair—soft, slightly curly, and a little too long—or too short, depending on your sense of style. But either way—perfectly Jack. With a moan, Damien deepened the kiss, finding Jack’s tongue.

Jack’s arms went up to wrap around Damien’s shoulders.

And then Duchess started to whine at the exact moment Other Jack’s hand slid from his shoulders toward Damien’s neck.

Damien felt the change within Jack instantly.

The kiss hardened—became painful.

Jack’s hand that had been so gently resting on Damien’s shoulder was suddenly viselike, holding him in place so that he couldn’t move when Jack wrenched his lips from their kiss. Jack snarled, baring his teeth—and then his free hand was snaking around Damien’s neck—

“Aaah!” Other Jack shrieked, jerking his hand away from the slim strand of turquoise it had found.

Damien stood so fast that he overturned his chair. Duchess moved quickly, too, positioning herself between Jack and Damien, though she didn’t growl and she didn’t threaten. She simply sat there, looking at Jack as she whined pitifully.

Other Jack cradled his hand against his stomach and used his legs to push himself backwards on the bed. “Go. And take her away, too. I don’t want either of you to see me like this.” His voice was rough, and Damien could see the red glow of his changed eyes.