Love and Let Die (Masters and Mercenaries #5)(29)

Alex had f*cked him hard. Ian scrambled. He never f*cking scrambled. “I decided to take a couple of full-time subs. She’s just the first. I’m auditioning, if you know what I mean.”

Derek studied him for a moment. “I do. I’m a little lonely, too. I don’t think I could handle two, though. Maybe just one. Hell, maybe you’re right. Maybe I should just start taking applications. I’ve avoided it because I know Amanda would apply. Fuck, man, couldn’t you keep out the subs I have to work with? See you tonight.”

Amanda was the brat bitch of Sanctum. Ian was pretty sure she was nasty to all the other subs, but no one had asked him to take care of her, so he was leaving it alone. Sometimes the subs needed to work out their own problems.

He wondered how Charlie would handle Amanda’s brand of mean girl. That might be fun to see.

Derek strode out the door, and Ian turned on his best friend the minute it slammed shut. “You’re a bastard.”

Alex just smiled. “My parents are still happily married.”

“You know what I mean. What the hell was that?”

“That was about giving you a chance despite yourself. You’re not thinking about this. You need to take two f*cking minutes. Your wife came back from the dead.”

“No, according to everything I know she came back from St. Augustine.” He didn’t need this shit. Now he had to take her to Sanctum tonight. He had to dress her up in fet wear and walk beside her and pretend to be her Master. That was Alex’s fault.

Alex ran a hand across his head, obviously frustrated. “She saved me, man. She brought me back together with Eve. Why would she do that? She walked in front of a bullet. I would be dead. That bullet was headed straight for my damn heart. Give me one reason why she would do that beyond the fact that she loves you and she’s trying to make her way back to you.”

He couldn’t even consider that. “Or you’re pissed at me.”

Alex’s eyes rolled. “Why would I be pissed at you?”

He didn’t have a really good answer for that. He actually treated Alex like gold. Alex was his brother the way Sean was his brother. One by DNA and history, the other by sacrifice and blood. “It doesn’t matter now. You’ve set me on a path. I have to take her to Sanctum tonight. The place will probably blow up.”

“I’ll call Ryan and put some security protocols into place.”

Security protocols wouldn’t save Charlie. God only knew how many bullets would be flying her way.

Because she isn’t on the move. Because she’s staying here for you. She took the bullet meant for Alex for you. Why didn’t she kill you before? It would have been more expedient. Why come back now?

His inner voice sucked ass. And was a little na?ve.

He set down his coffee and walked to the window. Alex’s office was next to his. They shared a spectacular view of the city. Was Charlie standing next door, looking out at the same set of buildings? Was there really only a wall separating them?

“Hey, I would love to know where your head’s at, man.” Alex stepped up. “You should know I was joking about why we stayed. We couldn’t leave you. I know you’re going to think it’s stupid and it would make you vomit, but I would never leave you alone to deal with this. You might not want my advice, but I’ve watched you mourn her for five years. You loved that woman. I know she betrayed you and if your final decision is to let her go, then I’ll make damn sure she doesn’t come near you again. But I think you need her. You either need to give it another shot or you need closure, and you can’t get that if you don’t talk to her. You might not give a shit that I’m here, but I am here if you need me. Eve is here if you need her. Sean is here. I know you think you’re alone, but you have a whole family around you.”

He was definitely going to vomit. And he felt oddly secure.

Would he have this weird family around him if he’d stayed in the Agency? He doubted it. He would have drifted further and further from them. He would have been forced to hide so much of his life from them that being around them would hold no meaning.

If he’d spent the last five years in the CIA, would he even know his brothers anymore? Or would Sean and Alex have drifted away, their lives meaningless to his plots? He knew himself. He didn’t lie. He’d enjoyed the plots, loved pitting himself against others in a deadly little game. He’d gotten a rush off it. He’d been a little obsessed with it.

Until he’d found something he was more obsessed with. Charlotte. Charlie.

Had she saved him from a life that held absolutely nothing but the game? He would never admit it but he loved Grace. She had rapidly become the heart of his little family. Grace and Sean and Carys. His niece. He liked the way she looked at him, with a little bit of wonder. There was nothing but pure love in his niece’s eyes, and it had cleansed him in a way.

Would he have held Carys in his hands if Charlie hadn’t found her way into his life?

Likely not. She probably wouldn’t exist because he would never have started McKay-Taggart and Sean would never have met Grace.

He didn’t like the feeling that he owed Charlie anything at all. It wasn’t like she meant to keep him from a family-less life.

“Do you want another donut?” Alex stared out, not looking at him. His hand was out, a sugary bit of confection sitting there.