Love and Let Die (Masters and Mercenaries #5)(103)

“His loving mother dumped him in a trash bin with his umbilical cord still attached. They named him Tennessee because the diner he was left in was close to the state line. Another couple of miles and he would have been named Kentucky. He was raised in foster care and kind of fell through the cracks. By the time he was nine, he’d been in seven different homes, and when he was thirteen he was running away, getting in trouble. But he scored a perfect score on his SATs and showed an aptitude for moral flexibility the Agency likes. His last foster parent worked for intelligence. He knew what to do with Ten. Think of Ten as a very charming version of Dexter.”

Somehow she couldn’t see it. He was so laid back, so flirty, but she believed Ian. “All right. So you think he might be working with Nelson?”

“I don’t know. I don’t want to believe it about him or the MI6 agents, but we’re going to keep our mouths shut and our eyes open.” His hands found her hair, tangling in it. “He wants you.”

She rolled her eyes. “He seems to want anything with the proper female parts.”

“Not like that, baby. He wants to hire you. He wants to take you back to DC with him and install The Broker at Langley. It would be a coup for him.”

That was an easy decision. “I’ll pass.”

A long sigh came from his chest as he let her go. “All right, then. I thought I should tell you. You need to get dressed. We have to go and listen to whatever plan they’ve come up with.”

“Ian.” She couldn’t stand it, couldn’t stand the way he kept turning away from her. “Do I even have a shot at this? I know I should be patient and I will be. I’ll give you all the time in the world if you’ll just tell me I have a shot at making this right.”

“You can’t make it right.”

Her skin flushed with emotion. “Never? You can never forgive me?”

“I don’t know. Maybe I can forgive, but I don’t know that I can forget.” He looked back at her, his eyes weary. “And I don’t know if it matters. I want you every minute of the day and I don’t think that’s ever going to stop, but what are we going to do, Charlie? Are we going to give up the game and buy a little house like Alex and Eve? I don’t think we get to do that. So the question becomes what do we do about it? I’m tired of fighting it. I don’t care if you slept with Nelson. I don’t care if you did everything that f*cker said you did.”

She shook her head, tears forming. “No. I didn’t, Ian.”

He held a hand out, silencing her. “It doesn’t matter.”

“It does.” She couldn’t lose him to a pack of lies.

“Do you love me, Charlie?”

An easy question to answer. “Yes. God, yes.”

“Then promise me something.” He came over and stood above her, his eyes looking down into hers.

“Anything."

He took her hand and placed it in the middle of his chest where she could feel the heat of his body through the cotton T-shirt he wore. “If you betray me this time, shoot me. Straight through the heart. Make sure I’m dead because I don’t want to live in a world where you betray me twice. Promise me.”

She shook her head. She needed him to understand. “Ian, I’m not going to betray you.”

“Promise me.” His mouth hung over hers. So close. He was so close.

She shook her head. “I don’t have to.”

His hand tightened on hers. “Promise.”

“I promise.” Her heart ached as she said it. How could she make him believe?

His mouth took hers, lips forcing hers open under his dominance. Arms wrapped around her, drawing her up to his chest.

She clung to him, her tongue meeting his and gliding in a silky dance. Five years she’d waited for that kiss. Five long years of aching and praying and hoping to make it back to him. His mouth covered hers, blanketing her in heat and desire and something so much sweeter. Adoration, worship was in his kiss. Love was in that kiss and though she didn’t have everything she wanted, she could hope because his lips were on hers. She let him lead her, turning her head one way and then the other as he explored her again, reminding her of the long nights he would spend kissing her. He could kiss for hours, his hands skimming her skin and driving her crazy. She would beg him to move on, but he would be content with his tongue tasting hers.

He drugged her with kisses, making all her fears go away and replacing them with the certainty that this was the right man and it was finally the right time.

When he came up for air, he laid his forehead against hers. “I can’t fight you anymore, Charlie. I want you too badly. I don’t care what you’ve done in the past, but you’re mine now and you’re going to behave. Do you understand what I mean?”

He was keeping her? “Ian, I want to be good. It’s all I’ve ever wanted. I want to be your wife. I want you to be proud of me.”

“Do you understand what I’ll do if I catch you on a computer doing anything but playing solitaire or spending too much money on clothes?”

A little hope lit through her. Oh, she wanted a life where he bitched at her for how much she spent on clothes and shoes and then made her make up for it in his arms. “I suspect my ass will be red.”

“You have to trust me, Charlie.” His words were a passionate plea. “I want that above everything else. If you can’t trust me then you should think about Ten’s offer. The Agency could protect you.”