Love Thy Enemy (Red Stone Security #13)(42)
Lyosha snorted as he pulled open the door. “You too.”
Once Viktor was alone he shut his computer down and tried to convince himself to go to his own bedroom. Alone.
His room was attached to his office so he should just step right next door. Instead he found himself heading for the guest room Dominique was in.
He’d been an * before but he hadn’t been able to handle what she’d told him, hadn’t even known what to say. Hell, he still wasn’t sure he could deal with it.
What did he know about virgins?
His hands were dirty in more ways than one. He broke out into a sweat just thinking about touching her now. Even though he desperately wanted to, Dominique deserved better than him.
Even when he’d told her about his sexual past she hadn’t judged him, she’d just looked as if she wanted to give him a f*cking hug. Which was almost worse. He’d told her to give her a way to walk out on him. But she hadn’t taken it.
Then he’d walked out on her like an * when she’d been honest with him. Made herself vulnerable with him.
She didn’t deserve that.
When he reached the door of the bedroom he knew she was in he had to wipe a damp palm on his pants. He immediately cursed himself for the weakness. The woman had turned him into someone he didn’t recognize but it was hard to give a shit when she opened the door wearing a T-shirt that was most definitely his. Lyosha must have given it to her. It barely came to mid-thigh. He wanted to drop to his knees, shove that shirt up and press his face to her belly, beg her forgiveness, then make her melt and settle his mouth over her *. He wouldn’t stop until she’d gone over the edge and was crying out his name.
Her mouth tight, she crossed her arms over her chest—and given the outline of her full breasts, it was clear she wasn’t wearing a bra. “Is everything okay?”
He shook his head and pushed into the room past her. The bed was slightly rumpled and only a single lamp was on, casting the room into shadows. “No.”
She gasped, dropping her arms. “What are you doing?”
He shut the door behind him and forced his gaze to her face—even though the sight of her long, bare legs called to his most primal side. He wanted them draped over his back, her feet digging into him as he made her come against his mouth. Even though the sane part of him told him to walk away, to just apologize and leave, he didn’t think he could. Not when he was standing here, looking into her beautiful face and knowing he’d never meet another woman like her.
“I came to apologize. I acted like an *.”
She nodded. “Yeah, you did.”
“I’m sorry. I…it wasn’t about you. When you said you were a virgin I worried about hurting you.” More like tainting her with who he was.
To his surprise, she rolled her eyes and went to sit on the edge of the bed. “People have sex every day. I’m not some petite doll you have to worry about hurting. Something you already know. So I accept your apology but I don’t buy that crap about not wanting to hurt me. You made me feel really bad about myself.” She wrapped her arms around her middle again, the simple action putting a wall up between them.
He’d done that and he hated it. He didn’t want there to be anything between them.
He scrubbed a hand over his face. “I know,” he rasped out. “I’m truly sorry. I’m in new territory here and you scare the shit out of me.” The admission cost him but she was worth it.
Her eyebrows drew together. “I scare you?” Her voice was incredulous.
Nodding, he went to sit on the edge of the bed. Her sweet scent was subtle, but the exotic, floral notes teased him. “I’ve never been with a woman like you. I’ve never known a woman as sweet as you. I keep giving you reasons to walk away and you keep surprising me. I’ve…fallen for you pretty hard.” Laying himself completely bare was almost too much.
Her dark eyes softened just a fraction. Taking it as a good sign, he scooted a few inches closer. The need to touch her was overwhelming, but he resisted.
“You deserve someone better than me for your first time.” Though if they had a first time, he was going to try damn hard to make sure it was the best she ever had. No. He wanted to make sure he was her only lover from this point forward. Strangely, the thought of being in a committed relationship didn’t scare him as much as he expected. What did scare him was if she didn’t want the same thing.
“Why would you say that? Yeah, you’re a little rough around the edges sometimes—and annoyingly bossy—but you’re a good man.” She closed the distance between them until their knees were touching. “You hurt me earlier but I still haven’t changed my mind about us, about…” She trailed off, gesturing between them, but she didn’t need to finish.
His gaze strayed to her mouth. Just the thought of brushing his lips over hers, of pinning her beneath him as he brought her to orgasm, was making it hard to think. To breathe.
He wasn’t a good man. The words stuck in his throat. He wanted to tell her the things he’d done, that he’d killed his own father. Killed others. Always to protect himself, but he still had blood on his hands. He couldn’t force the words out though. Not when she was looking at him with those big, dark eyes and all he wanted to do was kiss her, to make her his.
He cleared his throat. “I haven’t been with anyone in over a year.” He’d gotten tired of paying for sex, of feeling no connection. “And I’ve been tested. I’m clean—and I have all the paperwork. You can see it whenever you want.” He mentally crossed his fingers that she still wanted him at all. It had sounded like she did, but he didn’t want to make an assumption.