Love Tap(36)

“That’ll never happen, Tate.” I brush her hair from her face, cupping the back of her head so she looks right at me.

Grabbing her hips, I lower my mouth to hers as I slowly push myself inside of her. It’s tight, squeezing me like my hand never could.

She whimpers into my mouth and I slow my thrust. Darting my tongue into her mouth, I capture her cries as I go as deep as I can go.

Opening my eyes, I see hers flutter open. Placing my hands on the ground, I look between us as I slowly withdraw to the tip, finding blood smearing the condom.

I look back up, and find she was watching too.

I continue my slow pace as I don’t want to hurt her. Just as I’m getting my rhythm she reaches up and pulls my hair. My brows pinch together in confusion, and she tugs again.

What the hell?

Fisting a handful of her primped hair for the funeral I pull it and her eyes roll. That… is a surprise.

She tilts her head to the side, her chest rising and falling rapidly as her eyes harden.

“Hurt me, pull harder.” Her words breathy. “Just do it.”

Wanting to please her, I pull her hair harder. Her fingernails dig into my scalp as she pulls mine hard. The pain does something to me, it ignites something so deep I pull hers harder, as if it’s a competition who can jerk whose hair the hardest, and she moans.

I took Tatum’s virginity on the train tracks that day, as she did mine. It wasn’t gentle like you see in the movies, it was rough and on fire.

It was the best day of my life.?





Chapter Eleven


Tate



After running two miles I shower, letting the hot water set into my aching calves. I only had to stop ten times while I heaved for breath. I fell once bruising and skinning my knee, and my toes are aching from my tight tennis shoes.

I’m really out of shape.

Pulling on my sports bra and loose cross back tank top, I head out the door to my dad’s house.

I’m dreading this dinner. It won’t go well, I don’t know why Journey insists on us doing this family thing. We aren’t a family anymore, not since Mom died.

Passing Camden’s parents’ house the moving truck is gone today, but his sexy car is still in the driveway.

Hurt aches in my chest as I think about never being his again. When I moved to LA, it hurt and it was the toughest thing I’ve ever done breaking ties with Camden, I always thought in my head that maybe one day we’d get back together. That hope that had laced itself in my soul was severed last night. Reality punching me in the gut at full force.

I lost the only boy I ever loved.

Shaking my head of the thoughts, I step up the steps of my old house and open the door.

The familiar smell of home hits me along with so many memories heartache fills my chest.

Dad is sitting in his green chair in front of the TV, as dishes clank in the kitchen.

“Hey Dad,” I greet, stepping further into the house. He turns in his seat, his bald head shining with the burgundy lamp beside him.

“Well look who it is.” He bobs his head as his eyes pin me with distaste. Here we go. “Did you realize being a professional boxer was stupid yet?”

“Dad!” Journey steps out of the kitchen. She’s wearing an olive green dress, and her hair is braided with little flowers weaved in. God, she is a tree hugger. But a cute one.

“It’s alright Journey, not all of us can cope with giving up on our life’s dreams.” I fire back.

“Really, is that what you think I did smartass?” Dad tilts his head to the side, a smug look fitting his face.

“Looked like it to me.” I cross my arms, challenging him.

“If your mother…” he starts to mumble under his breath.

“If my mother what?”

“Please guys,” Journey pleads. “Can’t we just have dinner like a normal family for one night?”

Ignoring her, I stop right in front of the TV.

“Mom wanted me to be more of a girl, and Mom may have wanted me to pay more attention in school, but you know what I came to realize… Mom would have supported me in the end! She’d be at every fight, and cheering my name. She was always there before she got sick, and she would be today if she were still here!”

He stands, his face scrunched in anger.

“No, she wouldn’t. She had a girl for a daughter and that’s what she would have wanted, for you to act like a lady! Don’t you see, I chose boxing over her! If fighting was never a part of our lives maybe she’d still be here!“

It stings to think Dad blames himself for Mom being gone still after all these years. Grief and mourning never leaving this family even after all these years.

“She would still be gone!” Tears fill my eyes. His face goes stoic, his eyes that were once so vibrant now ghostly. “She would still have had cancer, and you being away for a week here and there wouldn’t have changed that!”

He sits, rubbing his chin. I’ve never seen him back down so easily. It’s scary.

“Dad, I know it hurts, but you have to let go. If you don’t—”

“I can’t!” His voice wavers, as he stands. “I fell in love with your mother when we were kids. We were supposed to grow old together.” His eyes water, and my heart breaks. “I didn’t do right by your mother when she was alive, I’m just—I’m trying to do right by her now. Raising two girls, it’s not so easy you know.” His voice cracks, as he rubs the back of his neck frantically. I glance at Journey, who is a mess. She is doing drugs and dating abusive men. I’m a college dropout that is a ball of anger, ready to explode at any moment.