Love Tap(3)

I pass the old tree where I had my first kiss and the curb where I had my first bike wreck before reaching Chloe’s house.

Putting my Explorer in park, I take a sip of my water that is now warm, needing something to wet my suddenly dry mouth.

Getting out of my car I can feel my heart beating in my temples. I can’t believe I’m back here. What was I thinking moving back?

Chloe busts out of the front door of her house, her long dark curls bouncing everywhere as her heavy chest nearly gives her a black eye from the low cut shirt she’s wearing. She’s always been a looker, and I almost hate her for it. We’re yin and yang. She’s the girlie type, and I’m… well, I’m definitely not.

Chloe attacks me with a giant hug that nearly takes us both down as her arms squeeze the breath out of me.

“Ermigerd you’re here!” she screams, as she stomps her feet in excitement. Returning the love, I pull her into me and close my eyes. I’ve missed her, and as hard as it is for me to be here without a direct flight back to LA, I’m not going anywhere.

“I am,” I whisper. Slowly, I peel my eyes open, and spot my father’s house. My eyes can’t help but drift to the house right next to it… the blue and white bungalow that I know all too well. Heartache, the one I was running from for so long, hits my chest so hard I feel light headed. Closing my eyes to catch my balance, images of the boy I used to love race behind my eyelids. Him hovering over me and laughing a perfect smile, his chest beaded with sweat, as his eyes gleamed with love. I can still see his blond hair falling into his eyes, as his boyish charm sank its claws into my soul. My heart does a double beat and my eyes water remembering it all. I still love him. I always will.

Letting go of Chloe, I try to catch my breath and look at anything but that damn house. “Tell me you’re staying, that you aren’t going back.”

Silently I nod, and readjust my ponytail. I left college and am not planning on going back. Not that I can, that ass whooping I gave Jacki probably got me expelled.

I didn’t tell my father I quit either. It’ll crush him. If he heard I got into a fight, he’d probably crush me.

“I’m staying,” I reaffirm.

She twirls a long lock of her hair, and rests her bum against the hood of my car.

“So you didn’t tell me much on the phone, why the sudden move? Did something happen?”

I cross my arms, and try to remember when everything went wrong.

“I just can’t be that person anymore. The one that woke up and ran to classes I couldn’t care less about. To have to sit there and hear these girls talk about rainbow parties, and who gave who crabs first.” I roll my eyes remembering it all.

Chloe laughs out loud, her eyes wide. “Rainbow parties! Do you know what that is?”

I smile remembering how excited the girls in front of me would get when picking out their lip stick to blow as many guys as they could. I remember one guy complaining to Jacki about not wearing red next time, because his dick had looked like a red Popsicle for a week.

“Yeah, I do now. I’m not sure if it’s brave of them or stupid.”

“Puh-lease. You probably have some bright green lipstick hidden away just for those parties, giving half the football team a Green Lantern.” She winks awkwardly, her mouth hanging open. I can’t help but laugh.

“Green isn’t really my color. I think I’m more of a red.” I purse my lips, and she shakes her head.

“Seriously though, I had enough one day and just snapped on a bitch named Jacki. When my fist connected with her face I just realized I’d been living on auto pilot.” I pull at a random string on my shorts. Remembering how I would walk the streets of California feeling like a ghost. “I was miserable and refuse to do it a minute longer,” I sigh. Actually telling someone about everything that has been weighing on my mind the entire drive here feels like an elephant just raised its foot off my shoulders.

“Yeah, well if you ask me you should have never left here. It’s not what you wanted, I knew that, you knew, and so did your dad. He should have never pushed it on you.” She purses her lips, kicking rocks in the driveway in thought. My chest feels heavy remembering my father pressuring me into college. How it was ‘right for me, and what my mother wanted’.

I shrug. Peeking through my bangs I look at my father’s house. I feel like shit for not seeing him first… but I can’t, not yet. When he finds out I’m not going back, the first thing he’s going to do is get pissed, then try and pressure me back to school. I know it.

“How has Dad been?”

She folds her arms and looks down the street.

“Eh, he doesn’t come out much unless he’s checking his mail or pruning his bushes. Now your sister Journey, that’s a whole other story.” She shakes her head in disappointment. I furrow my brows confused.

“What do you mean, I just talked to her four days ago and everything seemed fine.”

“Well she lies. That girl’s name is always on someone’s tongue. She is a mess Tate, I tried to tell you that.” Roughly six months ago Chloe called me telling me my little sister was arrested for underage drinking. She was caught in the back seat of some guy’s car drunk out of her mind. She’s been sleeping around a lot it seems. I thought I did my sisterly duties in steering her clear of opening her legs to every man who whispers sweet nothings into her ear. I guess she played me.