Love Restored (Gallagher Brothers #1)(31)

She was with him now, even if she didn’t know the precise label to put on them. With him enough to remember his taste and know that one day soon, she’d know the feel of him, learn every inch of him. Yet she was afraid of what would happen if they went too far. She wasn’t in a position to give herself to a man in any way other than bodily. She had to protect her daughter, and couldn’t do that with her mind in the clouds and her life split in two.

And she wasn’t sure Graham wanted more than just a quick lay anyway. She might have been okay with that; might have even desired that, but now it was all a little sticky. She knew too much about him and his past, yet it didn’t seem enough. That scared her more than she thought it would. As for her? He didn’t really know anything about her, and that was something she’d worked hard to accomplish. It was second nature by now to hide her past, to hide the fact that she had a child. But as Maya had warned her, she needed to tell Graham before it was too late.

Blake just needed to be sure it would be safe, would be worth it, to reveal her secrets. The danger that lurked from what would happen if the wrong people knew where she was, where her daughter was, would never fade.

But she hadn’t told Graham the night before about her daughter as Maya had warned. She honestly hadn’t felt like it was the right time, though now she knew why Maya had been so adamant. How could she tell the man who had lost his daughter that she had a daughter the same age as Cynthia would have been? What would that have done to him right then? Yes, it was going to hurt regardless, going to burn no matter what, but telling him when he was most vulnerable hadn’t been the right time.

Yet she wasn’t sure there would ever be a right time.

And that was why she was such a freaking idiot.

Blake wiped her tears and washed her hands, splashing cold water on her face afterward to try and hide the fact that she’d been crying. Maya had taken one look at her that morning and asked what had happened after Blake had left Maya’s house, but Blake hadn’t answered. Her eyes might be puffy, her cheeks still a bit pink, but she’d get through the rest of the day and figure out how to tell Graham about Rowan.

When had her life gotten so complicated?

It didn’t make any sense. One minute, she was in love with her high school sweetheart, breaking the rules, and trying to further ruin her already-not-so-perfect life; the next, she was pregnant and dealing with a man who hated her. Take another breath, and she was enabling a drug addict because she hadn’t known what else to do, hadn’t known how to fix him, though she’d tried.

And when her daughter came, she’d become the woman she should have been at the start. And the man she’d thought she loved had died because he hadn’t been able to hold on.

Now she had to hide her daughter from those who wanted to pin that death on her, and was falling for another man who harbored a pain in his soul she knew she would never be able to balm.

Blake let out a breath and rolled her shoulders back. Time to push those thoughts out of her mind, if only for the day, and get back to work. She couldn’t keep a roof over her daughter’s head if she spent the whole day crying in the back room.

When she walked out of her small piercing room, Derek gave her a long look before going back to work on his client’s sleeve. The problem with making new friends was that they started to feel like they knew you and understood the emotions you wore. She couldn’t tell them about her past, though; it wouldn’t be safe for Rowan. And she couldn’t talk about Graham’s words either because they weren’t hers to share. And while Maya might know the facts, Blake had a feeling Graham had been more open with her than others regarding how it felt to not have his daughter in his life anymore.

So rather than share what she felt, she hid it behind the ice that was her shield and tried to go back to work. She had two piercing clients coming in shortly, and of course, she’d take on any walk-ins with small projects if they came in. As it was a weekend and Rowan was with Mrs. Gonzales for the day before going to a birthday party sleepover, Blake needed to work her ass off to keep her mind on not so important things rather than the ones that could hurt.

When she made it to the front to check out the schedule, the bell above the door rang and she looked up.

Her heart sped up, and she licked her suddenly dry lips.

“Hey,” Graham said as he strolled in behind Maya. “I figured you’d be working today but I wasn’t sure.”

She smiled despite the emotions and thoughts warring inside her. “I didn’t know you were coming in today, or I would have mentioned it.” Not sure what to do with her hands, she gripped the edge of the counter and stayed on the other side of it. She didn’t do relationships and wasn’t sure what exactly was going on between her and Graham. And feelings like this where she felt so out of her skin were just a few of the many reasons why.

He grinned at her intently before leaning over the counter and running his thumb along her jaw. It took everything inside of her not to lean into that touch. When he lowered his head and brushed his lips over hers, she made a little sound that caused Graham to growl.

“Later,” he whispered as he pulled back.

“Later?” she asked, her voice annoyingly breathy.

“How come you don’t say hello to me like that?” Derek asked from his chair, a shit-eating grin on his face.

“Because I’ll castrate you,” Graham growled, though Blake wasn’t sure if he was kidding or not.