Lothaire (Immortals After Dark #12)(140)

He flinched.

“I saw it all. Still think me a betrayer?”

I wouldn’t have Elizabeth if not for N?x’s actions. He didn’t have her anyway! Then his eyes narrowed. “Why did you leave me so long in the grave? You were there the night Fyodor released me—I saw you in the woods.”

“My foresight doesn’t work with you. I was only able to find you by reading Helen’s fate. You know what she became to you.”

“Yes.” My aunt. “An embarrassment.”

“Speak ill of my dead sister again, Lothaire, and I’ll take my crazy somewhere else.”

“Somewhere outside of Dacia?” He waved his arm. “If you could find this kingdom all along, you might have told me how! I spent centuries searching. As you well knew!”

“You weren’t ready to find it yet. Would you rather have warred with them or become their king by invitation? All it took was patience, which is what I told you again and again. But you never listened to me. You broke the trust between us—not me.”

“Even after all the antagonism between us, I came to you for help just weeks ago. You turned your back on me and sent Dorada straight to my home! Don’t you dare deny it.”

“I was hoping Dora would find your addy okay. MapQuest is sometimes hokey.”

His fists clenched tight, his shoulder muscles knotting with tension.

“You wanted Elizabeth, and you needed Saroya gone—without breaking your vows.”

N?x had sent Dorada to help him?

“My plan was brilliant.”

“And risky.” If Elizabeth hadn’t thought on her feet . . . We’d both be dead.

“Great risk leads to great reward, does it not?” Then N?x chuckled. “I do enjoy telling Loreans, ‘Be advised that your blood debt is now being serviced by La Dorada, effective immediately.’ ”

He was rocked by these explanations. My millennia’s worth of hatred for N?x was unfounded?

Who would be his nemesis, if not N?x? In the entire Lore, she was the only adversary worthy of him. Which was one of the myriad reasons he hadn’t retaliated after she’d betrayed him.

Can always kill her, but can never bring her back. . . .

In a contemplative tone, she added, “You saw Dora when she was jubilant from a long-awaited victory. Most of the time, she’s so apocalyptic. And now she has evil and good pawns to wage her war. I’ll have to fix that in the future.” N?x frowned, and suddenly she looked very, very tired. After seeming to count on her fingers, she murmured, “How will I remember to fix that in the future?”

At length, she glared at Lothaire. “I’m risking an apocalypse for you, and you don’t even want to be with Elizabeth!”

“She nearly beheaded me! I’ve never been closer to death in all my years!”

“So now you’re pouting in your castle. After the miseries you’ve inflicted on legions? You can dish it out, but you can’t take it?”

“It’s different.”

“How?”

He stabbed his fingers into his hair. “It simply is.”

“How?” she insisted.

“Because I think . . . because I was falling in love with her!”

“Then why isn’t she here with you now?”

“It was unrequited!” He’d shocked himself by saying that aloud.

Lothaire Daciano, a king, admitting to falling for a female who disdained him?

“Do you believe that because of her dream memories? Or because of her actions?”

“I can’t see her memories, N?x. But I know why—it’s because vampires don’t see what they can’t handle!” I can’t handle knowing she played me. She’d bested him. “Just tell me what I . . . tell me what should I have done differently, to make her love me.”

N?x rolled her eyes. “Where to begin?”

“Fuck off!”

“Why should I help you with Elizabeth, anyway? You’ve betrayed me worse than I ever did you. Why did you strike out at Furie instead of exacting your revenge directly on me?”

“Where would be the sport in that? You’re more crazed than I am! Why can’t you find Furie, soothsayer? Is she another blank spot in your visions? I never doubted you would locate her.”

“Would that have changed your decision to imprison her?”

“No. I followed my king’s orders. You of all people should know why I was bound to obey him in all things.”

“In any case, will you help the Valkyries find Furie now?”

“As I told Regin, I don’t know where she is.”

“But you did once, Lothaire. You are the one who chained her to the bottom of the ocean.”

“For your interventions in the past, I should be honor-bound to help you,” Lothaire said. “Alas, I have no honor.”

Her face fell. “I can’t help you like this. You’re more eaten up with hate than I’d ever thought, and more ignorant about females than I’d ever imagined. I’m wasting time I need for other things.” She turned to leave.

Behind her, he called, “I drank Commander Webb, Valkyrie. I have his memories. I know you were working for him.”

Lothaire also now knew that Webb had probably been . . . reborn. As an immortal.